A little more kindness

Crying Out Loud or Smiling Through It? (Courage during life’s challenges)

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 5 Comments

karmaChallenges undertaken for the greater good bind us to people, whereas the pursuit of comfort leads to isolation. And for certain, isolation is terminal. But, how do we recognize our weakness? And work on our strength? If we are not expressive!

There’s no precise formula for it. And like every other area of growth in our life, our mountain won’t look exactly like anyone else’s. But we will surely recognize it, because it lies at the intersection of our greatest strengths and our greatest passions after a storm. We may endeavor to hide, or disguise, the emotional pain that comes in the wake of negative beliefs about ourselves evoked by a particular person or situation. But we can’t always avoid it!

I once knew a close pal in my college days (fondly called him my baby brother) the perfect-picture of a total gentleman. He must have been sprinkled with extra good-mouth-watering spices, prepared specially by the angels when God created him! Always cheerful and smiling. Humble and articulate! He has this certain soothing-aura that draws people close to him, to confide in him. And did I mention he was oh-so-cute with chocolate-skin-deep-dimples! Aha! He wasn’t a smoker or alcohol lover, but knows how to maintain his friendship with the crazy campus-crowd! He was such a good listener to people’s personal issues, but no one ever bothered to worry about him needing a shoulder to rest on. Literally! He was the “always okay guy! And every girl’s dream, the type you take home to your parents and they are like.. ’Aha! Awesome Sauce! Let’s pick a date quick! (Lol!)

But recently, I’d listened to one of his new songs released on you tube and was amazed at his emotional lamentation of how he’d battled with life’s issues, while still putting up an act for the world to see. My heart bled! Why? Probably I felt guilty for the forgotten years of not taking time to say ’Talk to me, let it out! As opposed to “You will be fine, hang in there”

As it is today in history, “Hang in there” is partially the reason why a lot of emotionally challenged people are “Hanging up on life, simply because there are no outlets for them. Think about it today, whose outlet are you?

So, when we ask someone hurt whether anything was wrong, for it is blatantly obvious from their expression or tone of voice that they’re upset, only to have them say: “No, I’m fine.” And it is so obvious that they’re not fine but retreating into themselves to avoid a dialogue they fear might end up making them feel worse. What do we do?

Sometimes we go through some stuff in life that just requires us to sit-back, weather the storm alone, observe the wound or just let it heal! But not for long in becoming unusually quiet or shut down. Such silence speaks volumes, and generally the message is: “I’m not going to risk you hurting me more than you already have, so I’m putting a wall between us.”

Our tendencies to conceal our emotional frailty from others is the fear that exposing it would make us look weak to them and indeed, make us feel weak and powerless to ourselves. So instead of “Crying out loud” (Am hurting! Am lonely! Help me!) we “Smile through our teeth” (say it is well!!) we assume that frankly disclosing our hurt feelings would betray our susceptibility and will define us as exploit, or take advantage of us. It’s as though in “displaying” our hurt we’re selling-off our personal power, relinquishing it to others to use over us in any way they deem fit.

Today, for someone reading this, believe me it is absolutely okay to CRY OUT LOUD! to truly make others more attuned to your vulnerable feelings, we need to manifest them physically and also express them verbally.

Men for example will likely avoid divulging wounded feelings for fear that doing so will compromise their felt sense of masculinity. While Women, on the other hand, are much more likely to worry that disclosing their emotional distress may lead them to be called thin-skinned or too sensitive. Hmmm!

But, we can’t always blame others for their insensitivity toward us. Do they know any better? We need to be more expressive by becoming more aware of and responsive to our feelings, especially unless we’re willing to go out on an emotional limb and reveal our vulnerability, they may never be able to understand and give us the support we crave from them.

Somebody once said that when everything’s coming your way—you’re on the wrong side of the road. Living the adventure God planned for you isn’t just another pursuit; it’s the reason you were born! Encourage someone today!

Yours in HOPE as I introduce Sodi’s “Contradictions of Life” (all grown, but still my baby brother!!) see music video below.

Yinka.

 

A Tale of Two Evils – Nigeria 2015.

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / Leave a comment

nig pix 2That phrase “the lesser of two evils” has been basterdized and clichéd in my opinion and as such should be relegated into the annals of verbiage, evil is neither less nor more. It is what it is: “Plain and Simple evil”. What is evil? Anyone or anything that is bad, sinful, morally reprehensible, and of the devil, yet we sometimes allude to wanting or choosing the lesser of two evils.

Evil is utterly corruptible, and that is the same evil that is less today, be rest assured it  will be more tomorrow. So what is there to choose from: less or more? Daunting undertaking eh?

Haven burdened you with my parody of a sermon, I beg to digress.

So, Nigeria, land of my birth will in a couple of weeks embark on a journey into a terrain which under “normal” circumstances is wrought with all sorts of intrigues, debauchery, and grandiose machinations – more so in that part of the world.

Nigeria will be attempting to elect its next president and as we fondly say “no stones will be left unturned” to ensure that there will be a “free and fair” electoral process, of the 64 +years of Nigeria’s independence, 28 of those years have been under military rule and a precedence of freedom and fairness is yet to be alluded to her political aspirations.

According to the pundits at freedomhouse.org “Nigeria is enjoying the longest stretch of civilian rule since its independence from Britain in 1960”, well I am not sure what has been enjoyed or who has enjoyed what in the country since 1999, yes there have been some semblance of progress here and there, but according to Fela Anikulapo-Kuti we are sadly still “suffering and smiling”, adapting to the same old routines under different schematic tags and being “managers” on different tiers and strata of the somewhat burgeoning society.

The impending elections presents the country with a very interesting conundrum of choice, this is because the two candidates on the ballot bring with them well laden baggage of deficiencies and precedence that is obviously not good copy as pressmen will categorize it. President Goodluck Jonathan the incumbent who has had so much “good luck” tracking his history of succession and accession to the seat of power, but unfortunately has been a harbinger of ill luck and embarrassment to the office he has occupied and to the nation as a whole, under Jonathan’s watch there have been an upsurge in terrorist orchestrated bombings, abductions, and the obvious misappropriation of funds at all levels of government and the ever deteriorating conditions of infrastructure.

Jonathan has vociferously portrayed himself as peaceful, yet Nigeria cannot even boast of the peace of the grave yard since he took over the reins of power. He has also made known that if not reelected he will spill some sleaze regardless of whose ox is gored, come on Mr. President what’s new, please spill and include your name and that of your family members on the list of your expose.

General Muhmmadu Buhari is well-known in the annals of Nigeria’s jaded military and political history, he was the appointed military administrator of Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation during General Obasnjo’s military tenure as Military Head of State when the proverbial 2.8 billion (USD) disappeared into thin air. He also seized power from the Shehu Shagari government in 1983 when reports into the investigation of the missing funds was set to be unveiled. Buhari it was also under whose watch Nigeria recorded one of her worst human rights reports to date, from the incarceration of politicians (crooks in their own rights), to a clamp down on press freedom resulting in the arrest and detention of journalists and exponents of social injustice without trial.

To call his regime draconian is to put it very lightly. Also lest we forget Buhari was also the head of the Petroleum Trust Fund of which approximately 2.5 billion (USD), was inaccurately accounted for after Obasanjo was elected as president in 1999, go figure. Any way Nigeria has consistently proved to be the best at playing the game of political and power musical chairs anywhere south of the Sahara. To date the Nigerian judicial system is yet to at least give our leaders that have been purported to have embezzled funds in their care a fair chance to prove to the nation that these funds were not misappropriated, as they have said.

General Buhari has vehemently made it known to the Nigerian populace that he has been rehabilitated and that he is asking for votes not attempting buy or steal the conscience of the populace as he does not have a fist full of Dollars to spread around. Seriously?

President Jonathan is an indigene of the South-south a region that has been plagued with insurgence and terrorist attacks based on its marginalization regardless of the fact that it is Nigeria’s major oil hub. Although some sense of peace and normalcy returned to the region when a son of the soil became President by proxy after the demise of President Umaru Musa Yar’ Adua. Recently, there have been reports of the acquisition of military and/or combat equipment by prominent indigenes of the South-south for reasons yet to be divulged, they have also vowed that heads will roll if Jonathan is not reelected to the seat of power.

Buhari on the other hand, is from the North where Boko Haram has been terrorizing innocent citizens to the point that it has become the norm as nothing has been done to curb the activities of these tyrants, although Buhari says as a former military officer he will eradicate Boko Haram and its activities. Please can he tell us what has stopped him all this time from rendering his military expertise?

After all is said and done I am not actually sure which is the lesser of two evils here and I am very much aware how daunting a task it is to find a Nigerian with sterling qualities and integrity to bring us to the promised land, although I do believe that he or she is out there somewhere.

Nigerians have a very difficult decision to make and precarious situation looms before and after the presidential elections this March. We are a prayerful people but I m not sure we have ever thanked the Almighty enough for the bountiful gifts he has bestowed on our nation. We need to rethink a lot of things and discard the notion of business as usual and the culture of accepting whatever we are served by our so-called leaders some of whom we elected ourselves.

As Nigerians get set to go to the polls I have one question:  Which way Nigeria? And as our “leaders” always say when they come in to steal and plunder, “Long live the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Written by: Folarin Lawrence

Fifty Shades of… Love? Romance? or Lust?

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 15 Comments

grey 2 There’s a great uproar over the movie Fifty Shades of Grey, some say it glorifies sexual violence against women. Some say it is like watching Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke in their 1986 erotic romantic drama film: 9½ Weeks! While others believe it’s simply another overrated exotic romance story seductively crafted in an activated-freak-mode! Whatever way its address…it is still all about the explosive part of sex-on-steroids. Period!

The movie hits theaters on Valentine’s Day and promoters are positioning the story of an abusive boyfriend as a romantic story. I’ve been seeing plenty of campaigns launched against this movie. Thousands and thousands of churches across the nation are still campaigning against this movie, but I wonder what that campaign did for the cause of an individual’s belief? Hmmm.

But really, haven’t we always been submerged in an X-rated culture where ’Sexual Corruption” has penetrated to the highest levels?

Aha! Am wondering… should we be possessed by the cause of our faith? or ’what if the same energy, focus and funding that we put into a campaign against such movies were redirected towards funding ministries that moved in healing, setting people free or empowering them to dismantle the works of darkness? What if we redirected our energies from fighting a worldly movie to fighting for the people of God to experience the freedom, love and relationship with Him?

What if we channel our sense of radicalism into disturbing issues of sexual immorality and compromise in the church, Instead of being disturbed by the act of Fifty Shades of Grey? What if, I am finally able to sleep well through the night knowing that I will not be burdened or disturbed by the thought of darkness that my fellow pew members still struggle and fight in their lifetime relationships, committing suicide and getting divorces?

What if I’m still mad that people are still tormented and harassed by an enemy put under their feet just because the church doesn’t cry out for the power of God? Which makes me tremble when I know the high price paid for provision, healing and freedom that most of us don’t experience because of corruption in our own little ranks.

Really, maybe the movie is all about silly emotions combined into a make-believe outrageous sexual acts! Honestly, I don’t even plan to see the movie, I am well equipped from the little chapters I’d stumbled across years ago, but I know there’s going to be a great debate on it, especially within my teenage shelter family! I’m not going to judge or condemn them. Rather, I will learn from their perspectives and hopefully re-direct their passion. I have a bigger fight on my hands that I’ve given my life to, which is to ‘Revive the hearts in pursuit of doing extra-ordinary things!

So, if you’re one of the thousands, upset about this movie, I challenge you as an act of protest, donate to ministries that work with women such as “The Mordecai Project” that rescues abused women or “Project Lydia” that provides opportunities for abandoned widows and orphans. Connect with PHMC’s “Plain Talk” that educates teens/adolescents on how to reduce pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Be an advocate for promoting abstinence among young girls, mentor young men to embrace inner beauty in ladies and not view them as sex toys, coach abandoned women in search of love again, be that counselor or sex therapist your church community needs to inspire and put the flame back into dead marriages or relationship. Create your own uncountable colors or shades of positiveness by igniting that fire!

Yours in HOPE!

Yinka.

Why we need to burn some Bridges and target our slingshots!

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 2 Comments

burn b

A young handsome teenager stepped into the valley of fear. The youngest in a family of eight boys, simply could not believe his eyes. Tossing the giant’s threats and obvious advantage aside, He refused to accept what he saw. Instead, he chose to believe what he knew in his heart.

As the sun inched its way over the mountains that morning, neither Goliath nor the Israelites had any idea just how different the day would be. A cloud of terror hung over the Valley of Elah as snarling threats and vile promises spewed from his mouth. The intimidator strutted along grassy slopes, swinging an enormous club, his mammoth, ironclad feet pawing the ground like an irate bull, ready to attack.

With simple but certain faith and unreserved confidence in God, David stepped through the fear, ushering in the mighty presence and unparalleled power of God. Goliath met David that day. Hmmm, he mumbled to himself ‘This giant was going down! And the giant fell!

To burn “bridges” we simply need to learn how to embrace and accept positive changes in our lives! We have heard the saying to always be careful because we never want to burn bridges with anyone and while this does have some truth to it, sometimes we get so caught up in not burning bridges that we forget to ever cross over to the other side.

So, do you ever feel like you are repeating one day of your life over and over and can’t seem to find the right door to exit to open to something new? You wake up every morning and eat the same breakfast, go to the same job, with the same people, eat the same lunch and dinner, go to the same gym, get home and watch your same favorite show, go to bed and wake up to do it again the next day.

Maybe you experience the same thing in your marriages, friendships and relationships, it is the same fight and the same recurring problem over and over and there never seems to be a break through…you have hit a plateau in life and have no idea how to break it.

We are so willing to let go of the soda, the candy, and the lazy days, to get the body we want, but yet we are so stubborn to let go of the mediocre relationships, jobs and locations that no longer serve us to get the life we want.

We are too afraid to burn that bridge because once that bridge is burnt we no longer can cross back over to the other side.

We hold onto past love in hopes that one day they’ll wake up and see what we are worth, we hope that one day our boss will finally see our value instead of treating us like crap and give us that promotion.

The problem with this is when we wait and hold on to all these other things that no longer serve or help us towards the life that we want, we are giving away our power and destiny to things outside of us.

Unlike that cute teenager with his slingshot, I guessed he burned down that bridge by just a bold step! While we are still scared to let go because somewhere deep inside we are afraid that we may not get what we deeply desire and we keep all our bridges connected and sturdy to these attachments just in case we fail we can crawl back at least to our mediocre life.

It’s like you want to swim and refusing to jump off the edge of the pool. You cannot move towards the directions of your dreams while still holding on to those things that you don’t want as well. It doesn’t work that way. Life rewards those who take great leaps of faith and trust the process more than they fear.

Maybe it is time for you to burn that bridge that is holding you back from what you really want. Once the bridge is burnt, there is no going back. Yes, it can be scary and push you further outside your comfort zone than you ever cared to be, but it can also lead you to your dreams and desires. You already know what life is like on this side…so why not let go and break the plateau to find out what awaits you on the other?

In life there’s some stuff that needs to be cut off and some ends that need to be tied up for good. If you believe in fate, you understand that everything happens for a reason and sometimes you just need to move forward and never look back. Too many people cling to the past instead of marching towards the future. Anything worth achieving means making sacrifices. If that means permanently closing some doors, so be it.

For someone reading this, the good news is that what lies ahead is no surprise to God. In fact, He has already been where He is asking us to go. That reason alone empowers us to face every tomorrow with hope, knowing that whatever touches us must pass through His hands, with His permission.

It is not God’s plan for us to dwell in fear or to let fear rule our lives. He has already set in motion the defeat and fall of every giant we will ever face. Our responsibility is to step through our fear, facing every giant in God’s power and with His promises firmly planted in our hearts and minds. The Holy Spirit will guide the path of His truth to its destined mark, taking down the giants lurking in every shadow.

Yours in HOPE as I share one of my favorite songs by Rebecca Ferguson and John Legend.

Yinka.

 

‘Time to Control Our Enthusiasm…

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 4 Comments

enthuMotivation dies when hope becomes a slow-moving wagon… ‘Confidence hides its face around dull edges… ‘Anticipation rolls down the road of unknown…’Desire knocks on our doors of in-effectiveness! Where is our drive to move forward in life?

How do you manage your: Eagerness, Frenzy, Joy, Passion, Zeal, Craze, Glow, Keenness and the way I fondly address it with my kids….My Oomph! My energy for life! What Curbs Your Enthusiasm? ‘Your keen Interest? ‘Your Excitement and Passion for a Task?

Enthusiasm is the natural outgrowth of all your efforts toward success. What is important is that you now recognize that every appropriate move you make is building your enthusiasm as well.

Enthusiasm Changes Lives: it is the fuel that drives things forward, a way to control our mind. The same control can be used on our enthusiasm, so that it is continually fed into the cylinders of your mental engine, where it is ignited by the spark of our definite purpose and explodes, pushing the pistons of applied faith and personal initiative. Enthusiasm is power. With faith, it can transform adversity, failure, and temporary defeat into action.

Our mindset is Transmutation. It depends on the control of our thoughts, for they can just as easily be expressed negatively as positively. By controlling our enthusiasm, we can change any negative expressions and experiences into positive ones.

So, when your enthusiasm runs high, make a note of it in a notebook. Write down the circumstances that inspired you and the manifestations of that enthusiasm. Were you spurred to action? Did you solve a problem? Did you persuade someone of something? Also, keep a written copy of your definite major purpose and your plan for it inside your notebook. Then, whenever your enthusiasm is ebbing, pick up your valuable book. Not only will it remind you of the reason you should be enthusiastic, but it will also review for you the benefits of that enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is a spiral, turning inward or outward, rising or falling. To give your enthusiasm a push in the right direction, refer to your notebook when the spiral is collapsing in on itself.

Wow! What power enthusiasm has! Especially when we are able to help others around us! What fulfillment and accomplishment we receive! That power is released to support definiteness of purpose and is constantly renewed by faith. It becomes an irresistible force for which temporary defeat and failure are no match. You can communicate that power to anyone who needs it. This is probably the greatest work you can do with your enthusiasm. Excite the imaginations of others; inspire their creative vision; help them connect with Infinite Intelligence.

I hope someone reading this will grasp their dreams and twist the world’s agenda to fit their passion and share their enthusiasm. It’s infectious. Boredom is a killer, but the world will buy joy gladly. But, because you’ve got IT! Why not encourage someone who doesn’t have what it takes to build-up hope today – share your gift of Positive Influence! Be someone’s ticket to success!

Yours in HOPE as I share one of my favorite Tracy Chapman’s songs.

Yinka.

 

 

Is Marriage or Relationship Overrated? (Part One)

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 11 Comments

trust

Dara lived in a small town with parents who were morally sound and family oriented. She went to church from her earliest remembrance and was baptized when she was twelve-years-old. In high school, she began dating David. After Dara went off to college, both of David’s parents died. He was lonely and missed the close-knit family he had once enjoyed.

After Dara’s first year of college, David began to talk about marriage. Dara was torn, but made the decision to marry David and continue working toward her degree. But after the wedding comes the marriage – something that neither the two were prepared to face.

After five years, Dara was bored with the marriage, restless in her job, and disappointed in her husband. While working in a medical office, Benjamin, a salesman for an international medical supply company took on their account. He was older and lived what seemed like an exciting lifestyle.  It started as friendly bantering, which progressed to enticing flirtation. Dara found herself looking forward to Thursdays—the day the rep made his weekly visits. She looked her best on Thursdays!

A touch here, a lunch there, and soon an affair ensued. Dara packed her bags, left her marriage, quit her job, and moved on to greener pastures.

But the greener pastures weren’t so green. Thorns infested the relationship. Benjamin wasn’t interested in a long-term relationship. Dara was just a young plaything he toyed with on weekends.

What promised to be an exciting life, away from a mundane, monotonous marriage, turned into a deep, dark pit of regret and remorse? Dara discovered Benjamin wasn’t anything special. He was just someone different. And she was his flavor of the month. After her divorce was final, Dara was left all alone in a strange town. What have I done? She cried….What do I do now? hmmmm.

—————————————-

So, every time we take a bold step outside our comfort zone to embrace the world, we encounter different kinds of people. Some with great personality and such charm that melts our hearts and keeps us trapped in their love spell. Some simply splendid and down-to-earth and oh-so comforting to be with!

Some with over-bearing explosive ideas on life and some with genuine uniqueness that radiates true beauty from inside. We get trapped, spell bound, speechless, astonished, and we fall in love with what we see that we like, and ignore the impossibilities.

Relationship, be it before or after any form of commitment requires consistent grooming and trimming. Whether it’s a friendship built on trust that leads to marriage or a courtship of convenience that’s meant only to quench our initial thirst. The end result is a binding force of conflicting emotion, while the refresher is an eye opener.

One of the most important advice I’d received on my wedding day was from my late adopted grandma, Mrs. Oke (who was also my next door neighbor in Lagos) She’d come over as I was getting dressed and helped dry off the dripping water from my wedding bouquet. As she carefully changed the soaked lace dolly wrap and handed the flower bouquet back to me, she titled her glasses to balance on the tip of her nose and looked into my eyes… ’My dear Yinka, I want you to see this union as a can of soup. To enjoy the savory taste inside, you will need to open it with the right tool, pour it out with care and then still make effort to control its temperature , just to soothe your heart” – that was almost 18 years ago. And really, it did not make a single sense to me! Seriously, all I could think of at that moment was walking down the aisle in my dad’s arm! But I replied with a big smile “Ha-ha Mama ‘am getting married now! Why this riddle now?’Lol.

Fast forward to today: I met with a young man in his late twenties during a group therapy session. Cordial, respectful, outspoken with a crazy sense of dry humor, and oh-so-matured for his age! There’s a poise and passion/strong will to excel aura about him, you could feel his drive and hunger to intentionally grab the world by the horn and twist it to his agenda!

Instantly, He’d informed me, “I don’t believe in marriage! But I believe in love and keeping a serious relationship without the hassle of marriage. I don’t think there is anything else in this world that feels as wonderful and as natural as falling in love. But Ms. A, don’t you think it’s reckless to swear an oath to love one person. It’s completely and truly unrealistic, unnatural and unnecessary to force people to stay together with an artificial binding contract. The society may prefer to call it marriage but trust me, it’s nothing more than imprisonment. Love is one emotion that can neither be controlled, so it’s better to let it run its natural course, however long that may be, and die out on its own”.

He’d mentioned growing up in a broken home where there wasn’t a father figure for him, and practically all the people around him never visited the aisle. “Marriage is not cut for me” he said as he looked up into the ceiling, lost and getting emotional. I sensed tension!

“Where did you get your boldness from? He asked, trying to change the topic. I pretended to look puzzled and alarmed. Hmmm I’d answered with a smirk of mischief. He looked at me squarely and said, “African women don’t discuss deep stuff! – He managed to whisper…aha! that was all we needed to ease the tension…we both collapsed into a deep heart-warming laughter that caused heads to turn in puzzlement! ‘What could they be talking about?

So, is marriage overrated? Can we really give ALL of us in a marriage? or in a relationship? Are we living in a paralyzed society that sees marriage as handicapped? And people who fall for it as disabled? Part of the problem with the word ‘disable’ is that it immediately suggests an inability to see or hear or walk or do other things that many of us take for granted. But what of people who can’t feel? Or talk about their feelings? Or manage their feelings in constructive ways? What of people who aren’t able to form close and strong relationships? And people who cannot find fulfillment in their lives or those who have lost hope, who live in disappointment and bitterness and find in life no joy, no love?

In agreement with my young friend, I feel marriage is all about the person and the circumstances. Most people usually get married because they have to, not because they want to. On the contrary I feel that we should all directly pursue what makes us happy .There are a lot of people who are a firm believer in long term relationships but always look upon marriage with suspicious eyes. However they still get married to uphold the culture and tradition. But is it even worth it? Because with marriage would come the stress and pressure of living your life in accordance with someone else?

Who do we blame? Our youthful desire? Our greed for consumption? Our selfishness? The society? The extended family? The problem with society is that they consider marriage as bliss. There are so many people getting married with all the glamorous “Cinderella at the ball trappings”, only to get frustrated and divorced within 2 years or so.  If you are getting married thinking, this one decision in your life is going to take away all your sorrows, then you need to just look around and you’ll see several partners hanging on by the skin of their teeth.

If you consider the institution worth fighting for, the ground is all yours, but just by “getting married” because you “feel like it”: then you cannot guarantee happiness UNLESS a mutual relationship is built on acceptance, trust, loyalty and genuine love…by giving all of you!   ‘To Be Continued!

Yours in HOPE as I share one of my favorite songs by John Legend.

Yinka.

 

 

 

 

 

Introducing… “TeenSHARP”

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 4 Comments

lara_picOn Tuesday July 1st, 2014 TeenSHARP had the privilege of hosting 25 African leaders, in residence at the University of Delaware (UD), who were selected as part of President Obama’s Young African Leaders Initiative (YALI).

Overall, there were 500 YALI fellows representing 49 African countries being hosted at 20 different universities across the United States. The 25 fellows visiting TeenSHARP represented 19 different countries including: Burundi, Cameroon, Comoros, Côte d’Ivoire, Democratic Republic of Congo, Ethiopia, Kenya, Lesotho, Mauritius, Nigeria, Rwanda, Senegal, Sierra Leone, Somalia, South Africa, The Kingdom of Swaziland, Uganda, Zambia, and Zimbabwe.

As many of the UD YALI fellows are engaged in youth activism and leadership development work in their respective countries, TeenSHARP was selected for a site visit during the fellows’ 6-week institute at UD.

As a TeenSHARP alumna, I joined a group of other TeenSHARP alumni, students, parents, and staff in planning and facilitating the fellows’ visit to Rutgers-Camden to learn more about TeenSHARP’s work.

After over 3 hours of dialogue, interactive exercises, and idea-exchange I left the event incredibly inspired. The fellows each demonstrated a strong, intrinsic motivation to change the world and a strong faith that they will be successful.

As they explained their different projects and non-profit organizations and heard those of my fellow TeenSHARPies, they shared their passion for social justice in their respective cause and country with such a contagious energy that my own justice-driven heart was elated…

 By Lara Abiona (TeenSHARP alumna and Junior at Trinity College)

What is TeenSHARP?

TeenSHARP is an official certifying organization for the President’s Volunteer Service Awards program. This allows us to acknowledge our volunteers with this prestigious national award after they complete a certain number of volunteer hours.

See www.presidentialserviceawards.gov for more details.

*** TeenSHARP is always looking for dynamic and ambitious volunteers who want to make a difference in the lives of young people and their community. Here are a few ways that you can help us achieve our goals:

TeenSHARP session support

Highly-interactive bi-monthly training sessions are a major component of TeenSHARP. These sessions engage youth in team-building activities, experiential learning exercises, break-out discussions, reflection and planning, and leadership skills practice. Individuals who are passionate about working with teens and encouraging high-achievement are invited to apply to serve on TeenSHARP’s session support team. The support team will work with the teens during TeenSHARP sessions and assist the program facilitators in making each session a success.

Tutoring

TeenSHARP engages in regular academic consultations with its participants and in the process learns of the many needs of our youth and their families. Through our discussions with teens and their families and  review of participants’ report cards and progress reports, it is clear that many of the youth served through the program could benefit from regular tutoring sessions. TeenSHARP invites qualified individuals to serve as tutors in math, reading, foreign languages, and other subjects for its participants either once per week or 2-3 times per week.

TeenSHARP Project Leaders

TeenSHARP has opportunities for qualified volunteers to lead projects tailored to their interests and availability. The project leader positions with TeenSHARP allow volunteers to gain valuable project management experience while also impacting the families and communities served by TeenSHARP.

College Prep Mentors

TeenSHARP is looking for qualified undergraduate or graduate student volunteers to serve as college prep mentors for TeenSHARP high school students. The college prep mentors will receive training and will then be paired with one high school student each to provide them with college prep advising and hold them accountable for their college prep action plan.

Donate to TeenSHARP

If you would like to support the TeenSHARP program and lack the time to participate, we invite you to contribute financially to help the program meet its objectives. TeenSHARP is starting a scholarship fund for its participants in 2011 and is also looking for sponsors for its spring college tours. Our participants regularly make us aware of the resources needed to prepare them for leadership and college success and your donation will be instrumental in acquiring those resources for them. You can donate via paypal using the following link:

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=9ZC6ZZM976GKA

If you would like to apply for a volunteer position with TeenSHARP, share any ideas about how you can help, or make a donation to the program; please contact us at teensharp@gmail.com or 609.505.4285.

Prescription for a healthy 2015…’let’s tackle our deficiencies.

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 2 Comments

step up

Happy New Year everyone! It’s the year “two-thousand-and-fifteen” and this is the season to “Step up Our Game for Better Days” in every area of our lives that requires adjustment.

Our deficiency is usually our imperfection, inadequacy, shortage or a glitch in our lifeline. People around us see it as a defect, insufficiency or lack. While the only prescription or remedy is replacement therapy. That could come in the form of (de-clutterring, vitamin, detox, self-appraisal, repentance or deliverance)

Exactly this time last year, by God’s divine appointment a short procedure I’d scheduled almost 4 months ahead was cancelled. I was prepped and theatre-ready, and then it was cancelled! Strange! right? I know…

Unbelievably furious and agitated was I…but eventually was consoled and re-assured that the purpose behind the cancellation was because “It wasn’t intended to be” Hmmm. Come to find out after series of blood work what I needed to do was to “Fix the Deficiency”.

The prescription for my deficiency had always been available right under my nose! Who knew!

It was like telling a child… ‘Common drink up all your milk, and you will be as strong as superman” aha! I wish someone had told me that earlier, I would have religiously gulped down all the vitamins in sight!

So, I know we’re all still somehow in the process of settling down, making new year goals, assembling new year ladders, swiping off remnants of last years ‘errands and carrying some uncompleted tasks over, but really…has anyone thought about actually discussing their personal deficiency? those we are usually not aware of (unless it’s detected).

Since there are better days ahead of us in this new year, let’s choose a healthy-mind set approach to life, lets learn to balance our staggering acts, lets up-root any un-profitable vines and look into a future of newness and wholeness around us. May we all receive divine inspiration to Move Forward in Life…  

**sharing with you one of my favorite songs “Better Days” by Dianne Reeves. See below. Enjoy!

With Love…

Yinka.

 

 

 

Sending off 2014 (the favorable, the awful and the mishap) and how I discovered my own strength!

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 8 Comments

year agoHave you ever been in a position where you feel like…Yes… ‘You finally got something done! All the goals you’d created at the end of 2013 have matured and still yielding fruits…nice!

Or are you at a crossroad of a certain goal you created around this time last year that is yet to show case itself?  You know you started 2014 determined and expectant, but along the way something un-expected happened and you get side-tracked or distracted. You’ve practically dragged yourself through the days, the weeks and the months hoping and still expectant. You are not alone! 40% of goal writers are also in this dilemma, but because we are still alive today – ‘there is still time to catch up!

If you are reading this…you are definitely a part of the reason why I am still keeping the faith and encouraged to keep writing and sharing real life’s event through everyday-people’s views, challenges, joy, concerns and testimonies.

Eventually, I’ve learnt that there is a purpose for everyone we meet. Some will test us, some will use us, and some will teach us. But most importantly… some will bring out the best in us. And trust me, it has been all of that for me looking back… but I am buoyantly taking the lessons learnt from it and striding into 2015 with a cheerful mindset, like…Ok! I discovered me!

So, this is a special salutation to all my readers:

“When I thought hope was what you could buy with self-pity, when all I could think of was creating an outlet for passionate expression, even when life’s issues frustrates and dictates above the edge, I found my strength in you, I discovered what lights up my fire and you helped me chase after the match. Little did I know that the same passion was also helping in building me up. Little did I know that our hearts of human tenderness often begins to beat only when we allow and discover a particular pursuit that absorbs us, frees us, challenges us or gives us a sense of meaning, joy or passion. Ah!  I am most grateful and say a big heartfelt Thank you!

For encouraging me by building this blog and also believing in me that there’s more and what’s next? and sincerely always pushing me to just keep writing even when I tell myself I’m done and tired. For constantly tolerating my ‘craze-now/cool-later attitude’ Thank you! (even though I seldom say it) I am grateful and I acknowledge your gifting! smiles… (You know who you are!) God bless!

For everyone who’d find another “New Post from Moving Forward with Yinka” in their mailbox, or a certain commercial-like name (anthonialawrence.com) and would re-consider opening it to read – I say Thank you (I know, sometimes it can be annoying right?) For everyone who’s approached or applauded me with “Hey, that was a beautiful article you posted! “I am inspired” or “You touched me” or “Thanks, that message was for me” “Good one, Yinka” “I love your blog” – I say thank you! (I am more inspired when I know my message is digested).

For my support group at Therapy Sol and Shelter who always welcomed me into their community whenever I needed to spend time with them – a big thank you! For all the readers who were courageous enough to send in their comments or posts or articles – I say thank you (you made me shine more with your bravery!) For all the people I wrote about (living or dead) – thanks for giving me a story to relate to!

For the grace and wisdom to answer some challenging comments, I say thank you for bringing it on! For reconnecting with my college alumni group AIESEC after 20 years and living-forward with them, thanks guys – you still rock!

For the love of poetry/dancing and dragging my family to watch Shakespeare in the park with me in New York City! or for Zumba class… ‘Priceless memories – I say thank you! ‘love you all for life!

For my Greater than Cancer team & My Day out with the Ladies group – You are the best and un-forgettable!’ love you all for real!

For having the courage to discuss the issues of Sexuality, Love, Abuse, Survivorship, Pain and Relationship! I am most grateful to all my guest writers for sharing their platform of awareness and hope. Believe me, you’ve made a difference in someone’s life!

For all those we lost in 2014 – I pray perpetual rest be granted unto them. For new lives and new birth, I pray God’s guidance and protection.

It’s been a beautiful and rewarding 2014. I have gained very useful knowledge. I have been comforted with sincerity. I have rekindled the true meaning of friendship. I have learnt to embrace fondness without breaking a heart. I have learnt to pick my battles. I have also laid down the burdens of aged and disruptive relationship. I have opened my doors and welcomed new tenderness in other people’s shortcoming. I have inquired from God and have learnt to appreciate beauty through the little things I’d been taking for granted. I am a whole year wiser and drunk with life’s passion to succeed, and ready for greater things to come. I hope you’ve all been able to discover some “new strengths’ in 2014.

Thank you everyone…’because you believe in me and made it happen in 2014! ‘See you in 2015 with more of me!

Yours in hope as I share one of my favorite Whitney Houston’s song below.

Yinka.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The reason for the season…

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 4 Comments

xmas 2As I sat in my car enduring the short traffic I usually encounter on my way home from work, I had so many things on my mind. One in particular struck out and it was my act of giving. I guess I was growing weary of giving; is it my time, resources, money, or emotions without actually receiving anything back. I was actually concluding in my mind that this giving thing has got to stop.

All of a sudden, the presenter on the radio station I was “actually not listening to” said something that jolted me out of my thoughts. I’ve heard it a zillion times, in fact, I’ve preached about it to others. It’s the fact that in this season of Christmas, God GAVE, not just an ordinary thing, but His own BEGOTTEN Son. How great that is. How marvelous. This piece would not have come to limelight but for a question that my daughter asked me. She said why did Jesus had to die, why did God had to give His Son. Then the incident in the car all came back to me.

When you give yourself, the gift never has to be returned. God puts us in our present position for a reason. You may think you do not have enough, but think about those who have nothing at all. Giving doesn’t necessarily means monetary, it could mean several things. Here are a few examples:

*Mend a quarrel.
*Seek out a forgotten friend.
*Write a long overdue love note especially to your spouse.
*Hug someone tightly and whisper, “I love you so.”
*Forgive an enemy.
*Be gentle and patient with an angry person.
*Gladden the heart of a child.
*Find the time to keep a promise.
*Make or bake something for someone else anonymously.
*Release a grudge.
*Listen.
*Speak kindly to a stranger.
*Enter into another’s sorrow.
*Smile.
*Laugh a little.
*Lessen your demands on others.
*Treat a client like you care and not just a case number
*Apologize if you were wrong.
*Turn off the television and talk.
*Give someone a treat.
*Do the dishes for the family.
*Pray for someone who helped you when you hurt.
*Fix breakfast on Saturday morning.
*Give a soft answer even though you feel strongly.
*Encourage an older person.
*Point out one thing you appreciate most about someone you work with or live near.
*Offer to babysit for a weary mother.

In this season of merriment, let’s make Christmas one long, extended gift of ourselves to others, unselfishly, without obligation, or reservation, or hypocrisy.

This is the Christ we celebrate on Christmas.
Merry Christmas everyone.

Written by: Kehinde Oguntunde

for #Moving Forward With Yinka.