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Monthly Archives: August 2014

Remembering the endless humor of the amazing Robin Williams

hook 1
One of my all-time treasured movies is Hook. Featuring my favorite priced actor late Robin Williams as Peter. To think that I must have seen this movie so many times, and yet still every time it comes up, I am still so delighted and thrilled, ‘trailing alongside word for word with excitement and bewilderment, dreamily imagining my part as Tinker-bell, played by talented Julia Roberts. Awe-inspiring! Hook is the1991 family fantasy film directed by Steven Spielberg, acts as a sequel to Peter Pan”s original adventures, focusing on a grown-up Peter who has forgotten his childhood. Captain Hook kidnaps his two children, and he must return to Never land and reclaim his youthful spirit as Peter Pan in order to challenge his old enemy and get his kids back.

So, considering the event surrounding his death and the beautiful tribute given to him during The Emmy Awards by co-comedian Billy Crystal, I couldn’t but help tuck away my own emotional strain by laughing at some of the displayed comical roles he’s played over the years.

But deep down inside me – it was more about the weight of agony, the hidden despair and the emotional torment he must have been going through during the last period of his life, was it all covered up with goofiness through bravery? A part the world never saw or the part the world never bothered to see. How much do we know about the inner mind-set of people around us? Could there have been a signal ignored? A cry for help neglected, ignored or overlooked?

This is an emotional wake up call for all of us in any helpless situation. We all might not necessarily be entangled with someone in that state of mind, but who can tell? Who knows? A bad comment, a broken heart or rejection are all common triggers. A lot of us cover up our distress with pretty things of life, and give an appearance that’s breath taking. Hmmm, ‘talk about the brewing kettle always dried up!

Today, I am hoping someone in their period of hopelessness will turn over to God. That someone will be vigilant and reach out to one who’s hurting and not communicating, to create within us an opportunity to help encourage emotional outlets. And like in the movie Hook, when Peter returned home, realizes the love he has for his family and the importance of having a youthful heart, I pray that someone will oppose self-slaughter, be of a cheerful mind-set and return to God too. After all, Life is still beautiful!

May God Help Us All.

Yinka.

RIP Robin Williams.

Ref: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hook

 

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The bargaining power of Control & Command! ‘At What Cost?

enduranceThere’s a task at hand. Your inner mind is the workshop. The tools needed for the job is priceless and never for sale at the local store, You have the map and detour rules stamped in your heart, because your talent is raw and in-built, accomplishing it is simply a piece of cake, why? Because it is your gifting, it is that wow factor that defines you! Not your juicy past or what people say or think about you, but God’s mark of un-common favor, uniqueness and exceptional beauty bestowed upon you. It is a glaring revelation! You have what it takes!

If you are thinking like me, I love good bargains. I love the feel and command of bargaining power either at the fabric aisle or beads aisle in NY. It’s an open market where everyone is allowed to boast and brag about their bargaining power. The best part of this bargain is that, you are allowed to walk away either way. With or without a smile, all depending on your bargaining power to control and command the cost of an item! Period!

So, for us folks in the pews “the reverse” is the case. What does it cost us to outdo each other? Have we ever taken a leap of faith to display our inner beauty? ‘Having the mindset of fulfilling God’s mission to empower and inspire those around us with our talent? ‘thinking like a servant rather than a leader? ‘Transparency in our “good deeds” without hidden agenda? Not looking at purchasing titles and cheap recognition because we crave it? ‘Diligently and humbly carrying those with burdensome insecurity through? Have you ever been in a situation where your God-given talent is considered a threat? Intimidation and competition setting in! ‘Do we bargain for competition instead of cooperation?

Competition is a way of life all over the world. It is has no place in the house of God. It is the fuel that keeps jealousy and hatred burning. It associates rivalry, contest and opposition. It connects striving for the same object against another person. Like-mindedness is union-based! —it is the attitude of cooperation we all need. Is that not the way a Christian should follow? ‘Not only is the act of competing wrong, but the actual attitude of competition and flexing of power is baffling. The attitude of competition is totally condemned by God.

‘Hoping someone will cultivate the attitude of humility and cooperation, to stop trying to win people over by putting others down with their sweet coated holier-than-thou attitude speech, thus proving superiority over them. Will it produce mediocrity? I doubt it! In actual fact, it leads to achieving excellence, and helping others to do so as well. But what do I know about attitude bargaining? I am just an ordinary expressionist moving forward in life!

May God Help Us All!

Yinka

http://www.yinkalawrence.com

 

 

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‘Things That Make You Go Hmmm!

african child 1Earlier this morning, I’d given her a call to inquire about setting up an appointment. I’d been away on vacation and needed to meet up with her either at CHOP (Children’s Hospital) or at her hair braiding store located somewhere downtown. Usually, I don’t return from vacation with my mind still fixed on a particular case. But, this child was different. He was a fighter. All through his 4 months, He’d undergone 4 surgeries and 2 heart transplants. Always swaddled in the NICU robes, transparent medication tubes and wires spirally turned into a make shift web always entangled his fragile body. I became his interventionist and connected with his mother right away. Even my lazy old fashioned French phonemes became another fondling element between us.

So, this morning, she didn’t pick up her phone. In a way I missed that. I missed her signature tone, her deep francophone reassuring voice. “ Oh, He’ll be back home next week. “ Oh, you know he’s going into surgery tomorrow? But he will be back home next week, and then you can come over and see him! – That was our last conversation. My last conversation with her, about him!

Today, I lost a client. A – 4-months- old baby. One I had connected with and had high hopes of seeing him develop age appropriately well into life. The news came in at the end of work day. And to think that I had casually called in to check on him through the mother this morning has left me speechless.

So, what makes you go hmmm? Is it only when you are wondering about something or perplexed about everything? Is it when you suddenly find love and afraid of getting hurt? Is it out of amazement or annoyance about something you cannot control? Is it when you lose someone you love dearly to death and you just cannot fathom it? Or is it when life itself puts you on an edge, turns your confirmation into confusion?

All I could say was hmmm with goose-bumps! ‘clogs of swelled-up tears now pouring freely and carrying along the once suited Revlon mascara I had on. It’s like I have never known or witnessed any infant death this way, but my heart bleeds for that tiny child I’d held once and had hopes of recovery for. My heart beats more for his grieving mother. But what do I know about things of life that’s baffling or inexplicable…

I only turn it over to the creator. Because He knows best.

RIP Jerome!

Yinka

#movingforwardwithyinka

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Insensitivity by Kehinde Oguntunde.

wordHave you ever been taught by an insensitive teacher or speaker? Talk about it being painful! A block of information is dumped into your ears from their mouths. Whether it’s interesting or well thought through is unimportant. Or an insensitive physician, who views you just as another case number without really caring about how you are feeling at that particular moment.

Perhaps the most tragic shades of insensitivity occur in the home. Between couples to begin with. The needs in the heart of a wife long to be discovered by her husband. She hides them until an appropriate moment . . . but it never arrives. He’s “too busy.” What cursed words! “Other things are more important.” Oh, really? Name one. And vice versa, a husband wrestles with a matter down deep . . . in the “combat zone” of his mind. Lacking perception, the preoccupied wife drives on—never pausing, never looking into his eyes, his soul-gate, reading the signs that spell “I A-M H-U-R-T-I-N-G”. Insensitivity is painful. It’s damaging to our relationships, and it grieves our God.

Now let’s talk about parental sensitivity. It rates desperately low these days. It’s part of the fall-out of our rapid pace. Solomon tells us that our children “make themselves known” by their deeds, their actions. He then reminds us that we have ears and eyes that ought to hear and see (Proverbs 20:11-12). But again, it takes time to do that. And again, we’re “too busy.” Let’s think that over. A basic task you accepted when you became a parent was the building of self-esteem and confidence into your offspring. Without coming out and saying it, they look to you to help them know how to believe in themselves, feel worthwhile, valuable, and secure in a threatening world. In dozens of ways they drop hints that ask for help. The sensitive parent spots the hint, deciphers the code, and wisely brings reinforcement.

One of the barriers that cause our children to doubt their worth—even when they are deeply loved is “Parental Insensitivity”.

Our challenge is to counteract the world’s value system, which requires of our little ones either high intelligence or physical attractiveness. It’s impossible to shut out this value system entirely, but we must keep things in proper perspective—especially if our kiddos are neither smart nor beauties! Failure to do so can easily result in struggles with inferiority. 

The key to fighting this is sensitivity—tuning into the thoughts and feelings of our kids, listening to the clues they give us, and reacting appropriately. The sensitive heart rubs its fingers along the edges, feeling for the deep cracks . . . the snags . . . taking the time to hear  . . to care . . . to give . . . to share.

It’s worth clearing your schedule for, I promise you that.

Written by:

Kehinde Akintunde-Oguntunde

for #Moving Forward With Yinka

 

 

 

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‘Still Afraid to Talk About it?

  • acceptanceThe refrigerator is still covered with magnetic letters and numbers. A Play-doh set rests atop a wooden kitchen cabinet, as if tiny fingers will play with it soon. Living room shelves are stacked neatly with Barbie dolls, and toy cars. Fresh scent of newly washed baby clothes folded neatly, still no sign of a baby…
  • Radiation and chemotherapy treatments for cancer have taken away his hair and he’s dropped 51 pounds, but the former Buffalo Bills quarterback hasn’t lost his sense of humor…
  • Eleven months have passed since a couple’s 5-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son were carried to their deaths…

We have all in one way or the other encountered: Loss, Sickness, Grief, Death, Terminal illness, Addiction and Survival. Or we know someone close to us who have or who are still battling with one. We are either not sure as in how to help them deal with it or even approach the topic. Sometimes, we act like, we know there’s a problem, we feel it, but we cannot connect the dots as in how to handle it without being too overbearing or insensitive.

Believe me! It is Absolutely Okay To Talk About It – well, to the ones close to you and the ones willing to hear you out. People usually need time to sort out feelings before they can be expressed and shared in the way they want. During this time, friends and family members may be the targets of their loved one’s strong, overwhelming feelings that need to be vented. I know I did.

I remembered when I lost a baby at 6 months; my bosom buddy flew me down to Texas to spend some time away with her, far away from home. It was a week of total outburst and companionship. She encouraged me to wail, shout, scream, cry and then later talk about the loss late into the night, same thing when I had my cancer diagnosis years ago. Through therapy I learned that what happened to me wasn’t my fault. I began to accept my weaknesses and appreciate my strengths. Which is helping others going through whatever hurts by talking about it and giving hope to carry on with life.

The breaking down into pieces of a life is a painful thing to watch and even more painful to endure. Even more devastating is that as your life begins to unravel, day by day, piece by piece, there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop it. The lives we are given by God are meant to grow, blossom and flourish. Not crumble.

Sometimes to rebuild, our foundation has to be re-laid. We should never think it is because God is punishing us for what we have or have not done. Lives fall apart because they need to, because they weren’t built the right way in the first place.

Today, I am encouraging someone to come to this realization of not always trying to fix the cracks in their foundation alone. To stop surveying the broken pieces of their mind, heart, and life, to recognize that a broken life is a test of faith of the highest order and anyone who conceals grief finds no remedy for it. That sometimes, when we are so overwhelmed with emotion of pain and hurt, God sees us, and is working it out for our good. In His way, His time, His approach. So, connect with a survivor, learn and grow with their victory story. I know I am still learning from one!

May God Help Us All!

Yinka.

http://www.yinkalawrence.com

 

 

 
 
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