‘To Love Un-conditionally’ Our Autism Journey

02 Apr
‘To Love Un-conditionally’ Our Autism Journey

As a proud loving Mother of two young awesome boys on the Autism Spectrum, my dear friend Yinka approached me to share little nuggets I learned on my journey. 

I. Was. Elated.

So, I decided to share my personal story following the diagnosis stages I went through with my sons. Which I know a lot of other parents  are familiar with as well, on this autism journey.

Stages – From a Parent’s Perspective


“Your child has Autism Spectrum Disorder.” Says the Doctor. 

This has come as a shock to you even though you saw the signs, and you knew your child or baby was not quite developing like other kids his age. You literally feel like your world has come to a stand-still, even though it has not. 

Anyhow you want to put it, the words “Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)” sounds weightier than the actual situation. 

You scramble everywhere and anywhere for a cure. You join numerous blogs that make the situation dire than it is.

  • Denial 

Family and friends tell you your child is “Ok” and “Does not have Autism Spectrum Disorder. He/she is just slow

  • “You know boys are slower” They say… 
  • My cousin was slow, but now He’s great!” They say...
  • You want to believe them. You believe them...

After a couple of weeks, you realize the Developmental Doctor was right!


  • Acceptance. Get to Work! 

After observing your child for some days/weeks and much research, you accept it.

In this stage:


Take a cup of Coffee.

Shut your eyes for a minute.

Then get to work.

  • Research, Research, Research!
  • You will find excellent and great advice everywhere. 
  • You will also find depressive tales and more tales of doom everywhere. 
  • You will also find people who want to take advantage of you (financially), promising a total cure everywhere.

You will need to diligently research to find the right therapist (Board Certified Behavioral Analyst BCBA, Speech Pathologist, Occupational Therapist, and so on).

Get this information from your doctor, and very good blogs.

Please interview them to make sure they’ll be great fits not just for your child, but also for you and your family.

  • Avoid online scammers at all cost who promise solutions and prey on your desperation.
  • Avoid pity-parties at all cost. 
  • Avoid online groups, that make your situation seem so dire and even make you more depressed, at all cost.
  • Mental Health: 

As the caregiver, your mental health is vital.

Take care of it. 

You must be happy in order to impart happiness onto your child. 

This is important! I cannot stress this enough. 

If uncle Johnny makes you feel uncomfortable or unhappy whenever you bring your dear child to visit him, then stay away from Uncle Johnny.

If therapist Jane worsens your situation or does not really care for you or your child, then change therapist.

Have little tolerance for anything that’ll send you off to depression. 

There is hope always! Always!

Escape (even if it’s just for a few minutes) when kids are not with you, or when you have help. Carve out time for yourself.

Look for what makes you happy and take out some time DAILY. For me, I am a hopeless romantic.

I binge on all things romantic from the trilogy book “50 Shades of Grey” to Netflix’s “Love is Blind”. It makes me happy!

  • Support! Support!! Support!!! 

It takes a village! You need the support of family, friends, place of worship, care-givers. 


  • Let your Child Lead You! 

When you see a different behavior, ‘Your-child-is-NOT-WEIRD!

He/she is just different and learns everything about life differently.

Let your child guide you. Follow your child’s lead and discover how he/she learns. When you do this, you’ll see many windows of opportunity to teach your child and bring your child more to your world! It works! 

  • Positive Affirmations:

Because I am a woman of Faith, I believe in speaking words of Biblical Faith daily to my son. Speak words of Affirmation daily to your child. Teach your child to say these words daily.

When my son was much younger, I taught him a simple night prayer and to say the words “I am healed.” Now he says these daily words of affirmation before he starts his day: “I will be taught by the Lord, and great will be my peace and undisturbed composure.” (From Isaiah 54:13).

  • Excel/Flourish:

Once all these are in place, your child will begin to excel!

You will begin to excel.

Your family will begin to excel.

You are happy!

You laugh!

You play!

You rejoice!

Remember to jot down achievements, no matter how small (or big).

I call them “Praise Reports.”

Always remember that God is good, and that NO-ONE is a biological accident.

Your child is a blessing full and LOVE.

Your life and you child’s life have Purpose!

Absolutely! There is meaning to all this! In time you’ll find out. 

I love my BOYS. My life would absolutely be hopeless without them.


Our dear Sons are amazing!

They show us the way daily❤️

We Love them dearly! 

I’d like to thank my amazing husband for his awesome endearing Love and full support. He is amazing!❤️

I also like to thank our awesome families for their amazing Love and full support.❤️

Much Love, Oby.

ABOUT HER: Oby holds a Masters in Electrical & Computer Engineering, Bachelors in Electronics Engineering. She worked for many years in the medical device industry with Fortune 500 companies in research & development, as well as leadership roles. She lives in Atlanta, GA and is happily married to Dr. Ekekwe for 16 years. She currently home schools her older son while the younger son attends school.

Yinka & Oby!

“Oby and I have been friends for over 30 years! #FGGC Sagamu Alumnus! A couple of years ago, we started talking more about her son’s autism diagnosis, Oby was very transparent and willing to share her struggles and triumphs, especially after knowing that was my field of specialization and passion. Overtime, she became an active member of my non-profit organization DCN “My Child Thrives” support group. Oby has been a vibrant, assertive and valuable resource to other members on the forum. She is certainly a force to reckon-with! Her witty takes on situations! her abundance of terms of endearment! as she showers group members with hope! ‘Autism diagnosis report certainly has nothing on this sassy lady!

Yours in HOPE!


as I share ‘Not Lucky, I’m Loved’ by Jonathan McReynolds to celebrate – April, ‘National Autism Awareness Month!


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9 responses to “‘To Love Un-conditionally’ Our Autism Journey

  1. Gloria Akinyode

    April 10, 2020 at 1:59 pm

    Thank you for sharing your stories with us. Our life and struggles reflect on these stories.


  2. Kevin Lawrence

    April 4, 2020 at 1:29 pm

    Way to go Oby. I’m rooting for you and the boys all the way. Your strength is infectious and your delivery is selfless. More power and grace to you.

    God’s Peace.


    Liked by 1 person

  3. HRH Eliza

    April 2, 2020 at 8:00 pm

    So refreshing to see a Nigerian a Ladies come out fresh and clean to talk about Autism! A much dreaded and hidden topic within our community or culture!
    There’s so much stigma attached to it that the mere ignorance of not caring for the caretaker or the child has left most of us in denial and fear!

    Thanks to these bold and beautiful Nigerian ladies in the US – so proud of you! For telling your stories as it is!

    Making positive waves about a disorder that still sends majority of women into depression and confusion because they lack direction and support!

    Thank you Yinka for creating the support group, not sure your global , could not locate you on Facebook or IG, because I know a lot of families who are in need of your support services- kudos to you again!
    Please let’s connect.

    Again, congratulations to Yinka & Oby👍

    Liked by 2 people

  4. DAVE

    April 2, 2020 at 7:49 pm

    And yet another masterpiece!👌
    Yinka💫 you surely are gifted and a born- story teller!
    Shine on Obyi and Live your life to the best, your Boys are forever amazing!👍

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Desiree W

    April 2, 2020 at 7:43 pm

    Thanks for sharing your beautiful story Oby
    And thank you Yinka for making this happen!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. kaadejah amnisah

    April 2, 2020 at 10:02 am

    Hello Ladies, thanks for giving me hope to be able to look my girl in the face and accept her diagnosis. Thank you for making me not feel alone about having a child with autism, I’ve always felt guilty and sad and disconnected from the world not knowing what to expect with her behavior but after reading your story and bold you have been, a I want to be a bold and strong mother of a child with autism just like like you, God help me I find someone like a good friend to support me just like you had.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Annette

    April 2, 2020 at 9:56 am

    Beautiful piece! Straight up real people talk! So proud of you 👍 Yinka & Obiageli! FedShag Girls rules always 👍💫💕

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Adaeze Mba

    April 2, 2020 at 9:40 am

    Dear Oby,
    Am reading your story and crying. Not for pity but because that was me 4 years ago DENIAL with no one to talk to about my son having autism or why I can’t take him to attend birthday parties.
    How can I join this support group?

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Kiara N

    April 2, 2020 at 9:37 am

    Love, love , love ❤️ your works Yinka! For bringing beauty out of the dreaded moments for most mothers! 🙏🏽

    Liked by 2 people


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