Patching Old Scars with Fancy New Stitches

scars 7When you hear a good old song play, what do you do? Do you jump up and begin to dance excitedly immediately to the rhythm? Or pretend you’re not feeling the vibes?’ even as some of your body parts unconsciously continue to move to the beats, and eventually you give up on your hidden-emotions, throw up your hands in the air like you-just-don’t-care!

Or like me…’do you run up to the front of a live performance with arms akimbo, mouth wide open in exaggerated amazement as I ignore the prying eyes of onlookers and begin to groove to the beat, then suddenly pointing to the band and mumbling…’Hmm! Hmm! Hmm! You-sure-can-jam!

One of the most memorable live musical shows I attended was one of the performances by Lagbaja (Famous Nigerian Artist) in 1996 at Ikoyi court, Lagos. My friends and I were mesmerized by the high quotient of percussion instruments that consisted of congas and talking drums, this new and upcoming group obviously drew its principal inspiration from the traditional highlife music of the 60s, as well as western jazz. Its emergence was just what we college kids needed then, a breath of fresh air!scars 2

The lyrics of one of the songs played that night “Baby Tani Ko Fewa” (Babe, we’re asking you out/babe, marry us) got everyone thinking deep about the current status of their relationship. Especially dealing with our choice of life partners, their profession and the outcome of the choice made. I bet every bachelor in there without any future-ambition-plan must have felt like “Yeah! Speak the word Lagbaja“Tell them”. LOL!!

That was almost 20 years ago, and the message behind the song sent each one of us thinking about our lives for a very long time. There was passion to love life to the fullest then, But what about now? I can barely sit through another live performance without thinking of all the numerous tasks left undone on my to-do notebook. Thinking of it alone, drives me nuts! Argh!

So, aren’t some good-old-love songs from our past similar to certain scars we dread touching or tracing? Aren’t they similar to sewn lines left by stitches? Some are with bitter experiences of break up or mistakes, while others require a modern version for the lyrics to give new hope, maybe for a new relationship. Whatever that music is that’s a memorial from the past, it sure must require some kind of pampering or nurturing now if we still feed it. Don’t you think so?scars 10

The reality is that we are all “banged up a little.” In the book “A Farewell to Arms” Ernest Hemingway writes, “The world breaks everyone and many are strong at the broken places.”

But are we allowed to hide those emotions behind those silly love songs or pretend to self-soak our sorrows in gospel songs as needed? Are we allowed to subdue our talents or gifting in order to kill time? Nothing could be further from the truth. Hurt may be inevitable, but misery is optional. How we respond to pits and pain and lyrics of songs is our choice.

Today, we can either surrender to the negativity or create an identity that feels at home in our musical-pit or we can embrace the pain of the scar and learn from it.

We can either settle for a life defined by pain or we can harness the power of our pain and use it for good.

We can try to ignore the pain and hope it all goes away or we can face it and let God heal the broken places.

We all have hidden scars, fresh wounds and broken places. The good news is that God is drawn to broken people. In fact, He accomplishes His greatest works through those who are most broken. We all can testify to that!scars 9

If you are reading this today and have had flashbacks of a particular song where the lyrics literally gives you goose bumps…’do you blame it on other people’s shortcomings? Or wallow in self-pity? Or struggle with your mind by creating escape routes? Are you still in denial?

Isn’t that a ‘Once-Upon-a-time-story? Are we still dragging our ‘when-I-used-to-be’ into our ‘emerge-now-self? Isn’t it time to literally find a good needle and thread to stitch up the loose ends, the scars or loop holes in our lives so we can finally emerge?

scars 6Does discouragement make you want to quit – until an email or text of encouragement lands in your inbox?

Or do you just pray for that challenging situation or chronic pain to be taken away – I know I do, until I realize that God uses it to keep me desperate for Him. What are you desperate for? A new stitch? Or a new love song? Choose wisely!

Yours in Hope as I share “Shawn Mendes” – Stitches.




19 thoughts on “Patching Old Scars with Fancy New Stitches

  1. Stitches, scars, wounds, hurts and heart breaks…we intentionally come out of it stronger, whatever marks we see after is just a reminder that we are human, could err and are stronger to replenish.
    You have spoken well Anthonia, and I am so proud of you.The journey of self confidence begins from your first step of assertiveness, you’re going places, Don’t give up on the minor cuts and bruises along they way, they are just mere distraction. I believe in you.


  2. Beautiful article, Anthonia! You are truly gifted, permit me to feature this particular write up in our magazine for August edition in Canada? Would really appreciate it, looking forward to meeting you at the autism seminar in September. Keep it up! 👍👍👍

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi, I came across your article via kbabalovedoctor twitter link. Thanks for talking about the effects of messages behind those songs we sing and take no attention to, this really inspired me. I look forward to more of your writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Miss Gansy!!! Omg! You surely remember that night at Lagbaja’s live show!! It was indeed a good show!! 20 years ago!!! Thanking God for our lives and good friendships! I am forwarding this article to Maria etc in Scotland, they will be thrilled, believe me, lol.
    Keep it up girl!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yinka, that was a very good number by Lagbaja! It was even more fun when guys would tease their girlfriends then on what they will be missing if they follow the professionals as opposed to the romantics at heart, I used to have a good laugh then.
    Good old memories, good to have you back again, we missed your writings, lol.
    God bless

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I love that song!!!! Played it over and over until I start humming it in my sleep, lol.
    This is a very good write up! Love your creativity and sense of connection! Keep it up Antonia.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Yinka, I agree with you, we tend to ignore the messages behind the real lyrics of a song as we enjoy the rhythm, only for a while, till it hits home! Good one sis!

    Liked by 1 person

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