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Patching Old Scars with Fancy New Stitches

scars 7When you hear a good old song play, what do you do? Do you jump up and begin to dance excitedly immediately to the rhythm? Or pretend you’re not feeling the vibes?’ even as some of your body parts unconsciously continue to move to the beats, and eventually you give up on your hidden-emotions, throw up your hands in the air like you-just-don’t-care!

Or like me…’do you run up to the front of a live performance with arms akimbo, mouth wide open in exaggerated amazement as I ignore the prying eyes of onlookers and begin to groove to the beat, then suddenly pointing to the band and mumbling…’Hmm! Hmm! Hmm! You-sure-can-jam!

One of the most memorable live musical shows I attended was one of the performances by Lagbaja (Famous Nigerian Artist) in 1996 at Ikoyi court, Lagos. My friends and I were mesmerized by the high quotient of percussion instruments that consisted of congas and talking drums, this new and upcoming group obviously drew its principal inspiration from the traditional highlife music of the 60s, as well as western jazz. Its emergence was just what we college kids needed then, a breath of fresh air!scars 2

The lyrics of one of the songs played that night “Baby Tani Ko Fewa” (Babe, we’re asking you out/babe, marry us) got everyone thinking deep about the current status of their relationship. Especially dealing with our choice of life partners, their profession and the outcome of the choice made. I bet every bachelor in there without any future-ambition-plan must have felt like “Yeah! Speak the word Lagbaja“Tell them”. LOL!!

That was almost 20 years ago, and the message behind the song sent each one of us thinking about our lives for a very long time. There was passion to love life to the fullest then, But what about now? I can barely sit through another live performance without thinking of all the numerous tasks left undone on my to-do notebook. Thinking of it alone, drives me nuts! Argh!

So, aren’t some good-old-love songs from our past similar to certain scars we dread touching or tracing? Aren’t they similar to sewn lines left by stitches? Some are with bitter experiences of break up or mistakes, while others require a modern version for the lyrics to give new hope, maybe for a new relationship. Whatever that music is that’s a memorial from the past, it sure must require some kind of pampering or nurturing now if we still feed it. Don’t you think so?scars 10

The reality is that we are all “banged up a little.” In the book “A Farewell to Arms” Ernest Hemingway writes, “The world breaks everyone and many are strong at the broken places.”

But are we allowed to hide those emotions behind those silly love songs or pretend to self-soak our sorrows in gospel songs as needed? Are we allowed to subdue our talents or gifting in order to kill time? Nothing could be further from the truth. Hurt may be inevitable, but misery is optional. How we respond to pits and pain and lyrics of songs is our choice.

Today, we can either surrender to the negativity or create an identity that feels at home in our musical-pit or we can embrace the pain of the scar and learn from it.

We can either settle for a life defined by pain or we can harness the power of our pain and use it for good.

We can try to ignore the pain and hope it all goes away or we can face it and let God heal the broken places.

We all have hidden scars, fresh wounds and broken places. The good news is that God is drawn to broken people. In fact, He accomplishes His greatest works through those who are most broken. We all can testify to that!scars 9

If you are reading this today and have had flashbacks of a particular song where the lyrics literally gives you goose bumps…’do you blame it on other people’s shortcomings? Or wallow in self-pity? Or struggle with your mind by creating escape routes? Are you still in denial?

Isn’t that a ‘Once-Upon-a-time-story? Are we still dragging our ‘when-I-used-to-be’ into our ‘emerge-now-self? Isn’t it time to literally find a good needle and thread to stitch up the loose ends, the scars or loop holes in our lives so we can finally emerge?

scars 6Does discouragement make you want to quit – until an email or text of encouragement lands in your inbox?

Or do you just pray for that challenging situation or chronic pain to be taken away – I know I do, until I realize that God uses it to keep me desperate for Him. What are you desperate for? A new stitch? Or a new love song? Choose wisely!

Yours in Hope as I share “Shawn Mendes” – Stitches.

Yinka.

 

 

 

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Branding our optimism: Standing up straight and tall. PART ONE.

When I was a teenager, my mother used to threaten me whenever I hunched over at the dining table. “If you don’t sit up and finish up your food,’ she’d say, ‘I’m going to have to buy you a therapeutic back brace from Bola Chemist.” Honestly, I don’t even know if Bola Chemist make or sell back braces back then, but it sounded like a pretty good threat to me. Just the thought of passing through St Nicholas hospital or General Hospital all next door to Bola Chemist gave me nightmares! So I decided to cultivate a habit of always sitting up straight even when my mother’s prying eyes are not following me. And it worked out well, even until now as I’ve had to deal with some of life’s deep slumping experiences. And still ongoing.lag 3

So, I recently just returned from one of the greatest and fulfilling trips of my life! I was very blessed for encountering such beautiful and dedicated people back in Nigeria who deeply shared my passion for creating and making success stories happen. Not because the society requests it for status quo or cheap publicity, but because their love for humanity and community service is genuine.

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Talking about CANCER AWARENESS.

I’d learnt that carrying a banner to display a passion is not the same as connecting one-on-one with real life people, dealing with real life issues. Sometimes, creating a platform of awareness for our passion or a desired cause goes beyond media or social network. Connecting with the soul-carrier is deeper.

For the great opportunity given to me by Samson @TREK magazine who met with me at my parent’s house on the Island for the one-on-one interview on AUTISM AWARENESS IN NIGERIA and my proposal on establishing a support group/Autism school in Lagos. I am very grateful! For connecting me with various NGOs and Healthcare Administrators in Lagos. Thank you.

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ON AIR with KBABALOVEDOCTOR of WAZOBIA 95.1 FM, Lagos.

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With K Baba, Host of WAZOBIA FM’S “Love Clinic”

My midnight ON AIR radio show host connector! Ogunleke Kayode Clement aka. KBABA THE LOVE DOCTOR of  WAZOBIA 95.1 FM on Etim Inyang Street, V/Island. DR. Love! I hail! I salute! I am so thrilled and still excited about our ON AIR show. Thanks for giving me the platform to discuss more on #Moving Forward With Yinka! For giving me the opportunity to be your special guest on ‘Love Issues – relationships and marriage segments. Thanks for allowing me to be part of the panel for taking on calls from concerned and confused callers who needed help pertaining their love lives! Thanks for embracing my optimism on CANCER AWARENESS in Nigeria and allowing me to talk ON AIR to numerous wa 6listeners all over the world about my own personal journey as a 5year-cancer survivor. Oops! (Thanks for bringing out the best Pidgin English in me! Lol). You are truly appreciated. God bless you plenty my broda! – “As u don do for me dis good so! Na only better go dey come ya way o! (Lol).

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Autism Awareness Interview with Olori 60 Minutes TV in Lagos.

Special thanks to my team at 60 Minutes TV, Lagos! Olori 60 minutes! My PA and favorite niece! My personal graphics and studio manager, LeeGrapher! And everyone at 60 minutes TV. For the interview on Autism Awareness and support group in Nigeria, for connecting me with all the different families dealing with the challenges that come with caring for a special needs child in Nigeria. For every family who showed up and have embracedlag 4 the need for Autism awareness, and were more interested in finding a common ground for intervention! Because of you all, my journey to Lagos was successful! I pray that God continues to strengthen you all, emotionally and physically.

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FGGC Sagamu class of 1990 reunion @ Lekki.

A girly-shout out to my Almer Mater, Federal Government Girls College Sagamu class of ’90, for organizing a reunion luncheon at Lekki on OCT 1st! Love you all great shagamites! So good to see/hear from you all. Special thanks to Oby Ejekam-Ekekwe for creating what’s App Class of 1990 “P” Girls chat room! Babes, even after 25 years! You all still look smashing in your 40s! God’s hands’ is surely on us.

So, if you are reading this, ask yourself, what does it take to stand up straight and tall in your life? What is it that hinders my growth? Am I failing to thrive? Do I know my purpose for life? How can I package my idealism or confidence? Talk to me! Hmmm…

To be continued next week…

Yours in HOPE

Yinka.

 

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