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Lover’s Delight: The Shulamite Woman Challenge.

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To celebrate my 22nd wedding anniversary this week, I’d decided to go down memory lane by sharing the mysteries and amusements of my courtship days with my three very assertive children while also planning a surprise lyrical-poetic date with my husband. #Spontaneous.

I wanted to challenge myself with that epic romantic charisma of Abishag, a certain biblical sister who knows how to step up her game and keep her man complete! (oh yeah, King Solomon’s beloved).

To fester excitement, I began searching through my garage for reflections, until I eventually came across an old box labeled ‘old pictures and letters’. With great expectation like that of Pip, but a lurking resentment of someone delving into a hornet’s nest! I dived into the pile. Oh boy, am I in for a surprise?

There I found my memorabilia of poems and short stories, collection of blurry old pictures stored away from over three decades starring back at me.

I felt guilty.

Then a pang of helplessness, like I have abandoned treasured friendships and memories to decay away in dusty old boxes. Urgh!

And, that’s when I saw it. Tucked away as if waiting for this day to declare its long-denied benefit! I pulled back the musty flaps and slid out what appeared to be so long a love letter!

Scribbled fragile treasures of pure declaration! Intimate words of sacred devotion from the heart. Romantic gratification of pampering words, carefully expressed through the mighty power of a common pen and paper put to work!

Oh my world! Such alluring hot raps! 

Doodle Through The Bible_ Song of Solomon 8 Faith Journal entry for Good Morning Girls (GMG) Bible Study, Free printable PDF Coloring page link at the website_ Also visit the new FACEBOOK page!Pile of Hallmark cards, love letters, created since ’1994. Carefully-cursived to illustrate a lover’s desire! Coherent selection of diction that emphasizes outpour of affection from my then boyfriend, now turned husband, with his pictures deliberately taken from L’fait studio after a patterned haircut from Choices Barber to tinkle my fancy and probably keep others at arm length.

I decided to share with my children…

Oh, what a scene! The kids started with that mocking ‘Aww… ‘so cute…

Then they burst into laughter…

“This-is-so-lame! So torturous! Who does this?  the kids exclaimed with such an annoying exaggeration!This is so archaic! ‘Were you guys in some form of Shakespearean poetry class? Why not send a text or a cute emoji to express yourself instead of writing a book! ‘There are over 1000 emojis to describe that speech” they exclaimed! Less poetic but extremely apt.

Oh-my-world!

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So, many of us still have over hundreds of letters, poems, pictures with friends taken over decades of youthful discovery all stored away in casual boxes, collecting dusts, enticing molds, just like mine. Some shouldn’t be part of us anymore, some will be needed to bring the spark back into our love/sex lives, while some, we keep to remind ourselves of what love can do on crummy days.

Don’t you think the Song of Solomon is a lot like those letters hidden in the box I found in my garage? Nicely tucked away between the introspective book of Ecclesiastes and the prophetic book of Isaiah is a work of poetry that memorialized mutual attraction, romantic love, sexual desire, and enduring marriage between a man smitten and a woman bedazzled.

 

 

The Book of Song of Solomon | KJV | Audio Bible (FULL) by Alexander Scourby

To convince these kids, I devoured the pages of the Song to discover what the couple did to make it work. Well, after almost 3 decades of thinking we know it all in our marriage…’What I saw was that they flirted and fought, made out and made up, served and savored, and never stopped exploring new ways to keep their marriage fresh.

The Shulamite in the Song was a wise woman who took deliberate action to keep her marriage strong. Sauntering up to her husband as he’s overseeing the fields, whispering in his ear, Her warm breath teased his neck, Flirting with him still.

‘Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages.

Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom, there I will give you my love.

The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved. (Song of Solomon 7:11-13).

Oh dear…I didnt just cook these up folks,  because God made sure it was in the Bible for a reason. I don’t think it took too long for Solomon to change his schedule, cancel his meetings, and pack his bags to hang out with her!

Why is it that passionate romance routinely fizzles out over the years? Hallmark romantic cards has been replaced a single speechless or invisible social message! soul mate so easily becomes a roommate? Why does the rapid heartbeat of excitement in the early years morph into the heavyheartedness of disappointment in the later years?

There are many reasons why passion cools, but it doesn’t have to. That certainly isn’t God’s plan. He has a much different desire for our passiona and sensuality in marriage.

Doodle Through The Bible_ Song of Solomon 7 Faith Journal entry for Good Morning Girls (GMG) Bible Study, Free printable PDF Coloring page link at the website_ Also visit the new FACEBOOK page!

Do we understand that sexual intimacy will change as we grow older. Hormones wane. Libido lessens. Stamina decreases. Bodies don’t always cooperate. Acrobatic moves decreases. That’s a given.

But I believe intimacy can grow and mature into something sweeter, deeper, and more profound than any clothes-ripping frantic frenzy ever could be.

Today, if you are reading this, ask what’s your/my Shulamite Woman Challenge? and who can satisfy the last aching abyss of the human heart?

Are we still in awe or astonished at how creative our thoughts can be when expressing ourselves? Can our words carry volume and live long after us? Life schedules, challenges and sophisticated social networking devices replaced the fun-fare of meaningful expression?

5 Things We Learn from the Shulamite Woman about Female Sexuality

Our love/sex Lives comes caffeinated with surprises. Modifications. Transitions. Alterations. Dispositions. And with the changes, we realize that every confidence, every affection, every devotion that is not based on a personal relationship to God will be reprobated, not only in the experience of the individual, but in the history of the world. Overtime.

I am hoping someone reading this will become more Shulamite-like through the lessons of pateince, consistency and perseveance, while love finds its root!

Yours in HOPE as I share Alicia Keys – No One

Yinka.

 

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That MY HEART may go on…

                                          Countdown to TWC ‘17 (Part One) do 4

Do you ever feel a strong pang or spasm within you whenever you recall a certain disheartening event from your past? Even though it’s meant to be locked-up and discarded far away from your subconscious, it still finds its way to interrupt the joy you thought you have built for the present day, and shatters all the dreams for your future plans.

Some call it unforgettable memories; many call it the past that never left; to others, it is the wound that never heals! Whatever name it’s called, believe me, every single woman reading this has experienced dealing with one or more!

We’ve all had that heart fracture, heart split, from the goofy lover-boy from down the street with tales so tall it hurts! Some from intimate family issues that never were resolved, complicated relationships, loveless marriages, lost love due to separation, divorce, death or childhood trauma that’s now affecting our adult lives.

We all know someone still battling with the weight of the pain from their past, that’s crippling their heart and holding them back from approaching a whole new life that God has in store for them!

Isn’t it time to walk out of the ICU of our mindset? After listening to people who have walked similar paths?  Isn’t it time to trust our hearts to beat again and move on?

How do we explain the fear of the thought of sex or just being touched even with the one we have been married to? Or why the addiction to sex is just a carryover of the foundation we were forcefully introduced to during our innocent childhood? Or why we have to be so insecure and never able to trust anyone again, calculating and playing vigilante with every prospective suitor? especially after trust has been broken, either mentally, physically or emotionally? How do we allow our hearts to go on? How do we love again…

“Ring-a-ring o’ roses, a pocket full of posies, A-tishoo! A-tishoo! We all fall down”

What do I do when instead of spontaneous falling and getting back up again in my childish glee and giggle, I am held down by the shackles of trauma… molestation… fingering… rape… incest… emotional neglect… physical abuse? And we hide under the umbrella of a barbaric culture that silenced the victim’s voice but uphold the face of the culprit! should we just bury it in a place so far deep in our subconscious, that it ceases to exist? Hmmm or did it really happen? Have we been brainwashed to believe it never happened? What do you think?

Volcano: 1 in 3 people were abused in childhood and carry these scars to adulthood. Sequelae: Fear of intimacy, Sexual acting out and Addiction

Frigidity: Anger, bitterness, resentment, Post-traumatic stress disorder, Dysphoria, irritability Sleep problems, flash backs, Anxiety, Hyper-vigilance.

Come April 27th to April 29th, all of the above and more will be discussed at the 2017 Total Woman Conference by seasoned speakers who will also be providing one-on-one counselling.

Forget the hurts of the past, Forsake unwholesomeness,  Forge ahead in the power and authority of Christ, Forge into new frontiers of love peace & prosperity”

And because sometimes, life is a game that will always be played on, but God’s love is always unconditional and never changes! Let’s be deliberate by being a part of the movement that aims to turn our pain into gain and propels us to become THAT woman God predestined us to be.

Don’t let the pain you are going through deter God’s purpose in your life.

To be continued. logo-tw

Yours in HOPE

Yinka & Enitan.

TWC Workshop Team.
http://www.totalwomanmovement.com

 

 

 

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Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow…

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Here we go again! It’s another Valentine’s Day – FEB 14th.

I guess it’s another day for everyone who claims or pretends to be in love, falling in love, crazy about someone, or just a routine gesture of forced emotions to declare their un-solicited affection. It is indeed another season to pretentiously or sincerely spend money on un-wanted flowers (that eventually will wither and decay in the trash can), another reason to spend a little more on chocolates, expensive dinner and some humungous teddy bear that eventually becomes a hoarder’s delight.

Hmmm, don’t get me wrong! Am not against celebrating this much-ado-about everything event called Valentine’s Day! I think over the years I have gotten a fair share of my own fantasy and now so used to simply not waiting till Feb 14th to tell or show those around me how much I really do care about them!

Gone are the days when my girlfriends and I would just marvel in excitement and laugh out loud or calculate the cost of the goodies or the sizes of those spooky looking love-deprived teddy bears we used to receive then in our single-girl season…it’s so funny how naïve and ridiculous we were then (lol).love 3m

I mean like, ‘Oh, cos he gave me a huge teddy bear and boxes of assorted Cadbury chocolates….’Aha, he’s the perfect guy! Or “Oh no, He made me a custom-made gigantic valentine card (oh yes, that was the in-thing then, lol) – and the best part of it all was the drama behind the presentation of the card/teddy bear and chocolates! It’s like a young guy going to face a panel of decision makers regarding his future love life. (Lol). “Eh, please kindly accept this as a token of my love” the lover boy would say as beads of sweat gather on his now creased forehead, hair nicely combed back, shoe well-polished and shinning you could still smell the fresh shoe polish, hands trembling as his newly acquired packet shirt is all buttoned up and seems to be choking his neck” His Blue jeans perfume carrying on even after his disappearance. (Lol). Boy oh boy! Phew!

But today in history, where has all the luxury and comfort of romances gone to? Do people still even make those custom made cards, carved out with the letters of the recipient’s name or heart shape? With those long captivating poems that mesmerize and keep your heart dazzled in the awesomeness of fondness? Those things usually come delivered even days before Feb 14th, so by the time its Feb 14th, you are either in love with the sender, thinking about the sender or you are approaching a different route in discovering love elsewhere. Awww, good old memories.

Falling in love was made to be simple, direct and un-complicated.love 1m

Now it’s been replaced with non-tangible things, irrelevant platforms and advanced technology that causes friction and disability in true expression. Where has showing love gone to? Is this display of yearly affection guaranteed? What happens next valentine season? Will this love still be evident?

I will be moving past those memories, but lovingly taking every bit of lesson learned from them. Loving those I choose to love does not limit me to Feb 14th.  Showing my affection sincerely is a 365day- thing for me. Or even better, some days when I just feel compelled, connected and in tune with what deep affection has to offer me…

Hopefully, we all can genuinely celebrate today and tomorrow and the day after like we STILL are in the valentine-state-of-mind. That really, it’s not only about lovers and couples, but sincerely for everyone or anyone who’s made an impact in our lives, someone who’s touched us so deep inside that their marks leave good memories to cherish… for that someone who out of all the thousands you’ve ever loved, just stands out and truly understands you, for that friend who’s not even thinking of celebrating today because they don’t have a reason to, for that person you know grieving the loss of a dead loved one, for that single who’s wallowed with condemnation and rejection, for that heartbroken-used-to-be-in-love pal who’s given up on love. This is the moment, the time to reach out and hold their hands…or give them your audience.love 2m2

Hopefully, by the end of today, we can boldly say, ‘Hey! I will still love (be there for you) tomorrow and always. But, as for me, I will love you even better than today, if tomorrow comes. It’s a promise.

Yours in HOPE as I share James Durbin “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” (one of my favorite rendition).

Yinka.

 

 

 

 

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