hurting heart

That MY HEART may go on…

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 21 Comments

                                          Countdown to TWC ‘17 (Part One) do 4

Do you ever feel a strong pang or spasm within you whenever you recall a certain disheartening event from your past? Even though it’s meant to be locked-up and discarded far away from your subconscious, it still finds its way to interrupt the joy you thought you have built for the present day, and shatters all the dreams for your future plans.

Some call it unforgettable memories; many call it the past that never left; to others, it is the wound that never heals! Whatever name it’s called, believe me, every single woman reading this has experienced dealing with one or more!

We’ve all had that heart fracture, heart split, from the goofy lover-boy from down the street with tales so tall it hurts! Some from intimate family issues that never were resolved, complicated relationships, loveless marriages, lost love due to separation, divorce, death or childhood trauma that’s now affecting our adult lives.

We all know someone still battling with the weight of the pain from their past, that’s crippling their heart and holding them back from approaching a whole new life that God has in store for them!

Isn’t it time to walk out of the ICU of our mindset? After listening to people who have walked similar paths?  Isn’t it time to trust our hearts to beat again and move on?

How do we explain the fear of the thought of sex or just being touched even with the one we have been married to? Or why the addiction to sex is just a carryover of the foundation we were forcefully introduced to during our innocent childhood? Or why we have to be so insecure and never able to trust anyone again, calculating and playing vigilante with every prospective suitor? especially after trust has been broken, either mentally, physically or emotionally? How do we allow our hearts to go on? How do we love again…

“Ring-a-ring o’ roses, a pocket full of posies, A-tishoo! A-tishoo! We all fall down”

What do I do when instead of spontaneous falling and getting back up again in my childish glee and giggle, I am held down by the shackles of trauma… molestation… fingering… rape… incest… emotional neglect… physical abuse? And we hide under the umbrella of a barbaric culture that silenced the victim’s voice but uphold the face of the culprit! should we just bury it in a place so far deep in our subconscious, that it ceases to exist? Hmmm or did it really happen? Have we been brainwashed to believe it never happened? What do you think?

Volcano: 1 in 3 people were abused in childhood and carry these scars to adulthood. Sequelae: Fear of intimacy, Sexual acting out and Addiction

Frigidity: Anger, bitterness, resentment, Post-traumatic stress disorder, Dysphoria, irritability Sleep problems, flash backs, Anxiety, Hyper-vigilance.

Come April 27th to April 29th, all of the above and more will be discussed at the 2017 Total Woman Conference by seasoned speakers who will also be providing one-on-one counselling.

“Forget the hurts of the past, Forsake unwholesomeness,  Forge ahead in the power and authority of Christ, Forge into new frontiers of love peace & prosperity”

And because sometimes, life is a game that will always be played on, but God’s love is always unconditional and never changes! Let’s be deliberate by being a part of the movement that aims to turn our pain into gain and propels us to become THAT woman God predestined us to be.

Don’t let the pain you are going through deter God’s purpose in your life.

To be continued. logo-tw

Yours in HOPE

Yinka & Enitan.

TWC Workshop Team.
http://www.totalwomanmovement.com

 

 

When “Hurt is Heavy” the co-carrier feels the weight too!

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 15 Comments

palmI met one of the most impressive and amiable person in 1998. I’d just relocated from Maryland, moved into a new apartment in Philadelphia with my husband, close to the Art museum. We had two other Temple University students as co-tenants, except for one, who lived in the front studio. He seldom comes out of his room, but sings and plays the piano with such excellence you’d thought we were neighbors with the gifted singer, Steve Wonder!

One time I heard him play…‘Overjoyed’ I have been building my castle of love! and another time, heard captivating Afro beats, rhythms likened to Fela’s soundtracks coming from his room. Inquisitively and nosily, I’d knocked on his door and was surprised to meet an elderly man with such southern warmth, ‘I’m his father” he’d mentioned with a questioning look, but the man behind the piano told his father It was okay to let me in. “She’s my new neighbor” he stated.

I’d walked into that spacious beautifully decorated studio with my husband… and that was how a mutual “feel-free-to-hang-out-with-me-relationship started between us and the one and only multi-talented Leon Evans, a gifted choreographer, composer, singer-musician, educator and actor who has appeared on stages from Broad Street to Broadway to overseas, but at that moment was in a very challenging period of his life..

August 1998 he died after a prolonged illness. Evans, who sang and arranged vocals for his company, Tru-Le-Hype, also originated and founded Eleone, the Leon Evans Dance Theatre. Eleone, best known for the “Carols in Color” holiday show, has been performing for 15 years. A great companionship gone too soon. My heart bled.

So, just recently I had a painful phone conversation with a girlfriend. She was heavy with hurt. Spiritually helpless by circumstances. Her faith has been greatly challenged and weakened. It broke my heart. I wanted to reach through the phone line and hug her but, of course, I couldn’t.  So I listened, reminded her of God’s love for her, and prayed. And also, shared Leon’s story with her, to encourage her.

But really, why do we feel the pain of others when they are bruised, grazed or scarred? “Because we care..

Today, everyone is desperate for a miracle. Today, someone reading this is feeling overwhelmed or confused. Discouraged by the complicated challenges you face? Perhaps you have a friend who is nursing emotional wounds. There are so many hurting hearts. So many burdens being carried by souls weary of the task. So many people desperate for a miracle from God. Desperate for healing and hope.

What is that burden affecting you or someone you love? Maybe you bear the pain of a broken marriage, broken dreams, or a broken body. If you are desperate for healing, help, and hope, ask the Lord to increase your faith today, and make a determined choice to trust Him. When you do, He will meet your needs and carry the load of your burdens for you.

He lovingly points us to Hope. When we fall before Him in prayer, He will sustain and strengthen us, not when we try to handle things in our own strength, we remain weak and ineffective. Desperate times call for a desperate faith. Faith is the core of our lives. Let’s move forward and turn all our hurts to God.

Yinka.