hope

Dangerously living in a fool’s paradise.

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 10 Comments

coolio 1

It’s a beautiful, sunny day and you are going outside to take a walk and enjoy the brush of the heat on your skin. You change your mind, head back inside. Suddenly, you remember that you forgot to take your cell phone with you. But, you want to spend quality time with yourself un-interrupted, like meditate as you stroll around the neighborhood. You don’t want to be reminded of that heart ache you’ve been trying to bury, or that disturbing message you’d received that got you twisted and confused.  The back lash from the grapevine!

Instead, you go back inside, grab a bottle of water and sacrificially bury your cell phone inside the kitchen closet and walk out of the door; chin up, chest out, feeling proud of your little courage. You are certainly on a roll! Phew!

Wait-a-minute! ’Congratulations! Awesome bravery…but, for how long?

I remember in 1995 when the song “Gangsta Paradise by Coolio was just coolio 3released. Every house party in Port Harcourt then played it like they dined and wined with Coolio himself! I didn’t understand the content of the lyrics much, but we all just hummed to the chorus and showed off our hot steps.

Apparently, until much later when I sat down to watch the movie it featured in: “Dangerous Minds” Starring Michelle Pfeiffer as retired U.S. Marine Lou Anne Johnson, who took up a teaching position at Carlmont High School in Belmont, California, in 1989, where most of her students were African-American and Latino teenagers from East Palo Alto, a poverty-stricken, racially segregated, economically deprived city at the opposite end of the school district., the film was released to a mixture of mostly negative critical reception, but became a surprise box office success in the summer of 1995, leading to the creation of a short-lived television series.

At the end of the year, the teacher announces to the class that she will not continue teaching at the school, which prompts an unbridled display of emotion from the students who refuse to let her leave. Overwhelmed, she decides to stay. Hmm!  Yeah…’stay back with the same students who had wickedly crawled up her skin into misery! Who does that?

So, our life is filled with twisters – indecisions, contemplating over lifelong struggles, overcrowded schedules, impossiblecoolio 2 demands from friends and families, unrealistic expectations, emotional bankruptcy, and physical exhaustion. During those turbulent times, how did you handle it?

Growing up, I would run and hide under my blanket or just bury myself in a good book and block the world out until the storm passes over! But now, my blanket is consciously pulled off by my 3 wonderful children reminding me that  (1) Homework needs to be reviewed (2) Dinner needs to be served! (3) Mom! life goes on! just step out of that blanket and get-it-together!

So, I have come to two realizations; first, there will always be another storm and second, what I must do is learn how to prepare for storms before they hit or deal with the storm and move forward!

As we approach the end of the year, let’s think back to the past months and review the reasons why we have been stagnant, stuck or suppressed? any reasons why we just need to bury some hatchets and start afresh?  Have we embraced solitude after a storm?

‘Are we sincerely seeking God’s face for direction? how about how brave Michelle Pfeiffer was in the movie as she dealt with challenges that made her stronger and daring even at the face of death? Or Coolio’s heart rendering concerns on how we live our lives in false declaration?  ‘are we still in tune with personal goals to do better? Are we addicted to social praise? Craving for recognition or acceptance by a confused world itself?

Why do we still always end up hurting each other, with our bashful words and resentful attitude? Even as we portray such magnitude of holiness, while our personal mirror sees us as Pharisees? ‘Aren’t we still living in that hooded paradise? Hopefully, by the time we begin the countdown, our hearts will take us to places our emotions dare to thread; so that our mind, body and soul will be renewed for 2016.

Yours in HOPE as I share one of my favorite Coolio’s music/Dangerous Minds soundtrack: “Gangsta Paradise”

Yinka.

Embracing our Childlike Passion… ‘Show me how you do it!

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 8 Comments

girl dancingIt’s that time of the year again. Spring-approaching-Summer. Spring is the season of new beginnings. This is the time when fresh buds bloom and animals awaken and the earth seems to come to life again. Gardeners and farmers plant their seeds, temperatures slowly rise and finally, we get the chance to be youthful again! We get to walk barefoot on the beach! We chase after bubbles and ride bicycles till the sun sets on our sweaty backs.

So, have you ever passed by a group of people, they are laughing so hard at a particular joke that you just wished life could have been a little easy on you? Maybe you wished you were part of that witty group. You pass by a couple seriously in love with each other, who really don’t care who is watching or eavesdropping on them and all you can hear is the sweet whispers of their heartbeats pounding together, while literally you’re the one dealing with a mocked-heart attack. Phew!

Can you remember the last time someone actually sent you chuckling or laughing or giggling so hard that even the adult-ness in you couldn’t avoid the teardrop of excitement. Or when was the last time you observed a bunch of teenage girls admiring themselves in their pocket-size mirror, smiling and happy at what they see, while their fully wired-up dentition exhibits pure innocence! Or, a teenage boy who just discovered the sprout of a single strand of hair on his chin and a dot of pimple on his forehead; he is getting all worked up thinking of his juvenescence.

Aha! What about the graceful harmony, priceless joy and beauty of a happy-go-lucky set of freelance singers? You know the ones that are just naturally happy to be singing or dancing just for the fun of it! (‘Another reason why I just love NYC!) No patronizing, No expectation! No reservation! Just entertaining for the fun of being happy! That’s it!

Our childlike passion is that sense of emotion or innocence that radiates deep from inside of us.  It comes from desire, knowledge and deep joy. It is a display of how naïve we could get with the serious-ness of life! No matter how much age catches up on us. Our childlike passion does not have any preconceived notions as they are not yet tainted by experience. The buoyancy or beauty is still present! There’s elation and vibrancy that will always bring out the “kid” in us. No matter what life throws at us, Laughter is still contagious! Amusement is still an effective remedy to cure boredom!

Like in the movie, Patch Adams knows the inner side of healing. A good reminder that some of the most important factors in healing are not high-tech marvels but ordinary factors such as love, compassion, friendship, and hope. And like I usually tell my children, there’s a deep sense of living well when you are truly in love with your passion for life.

So, if you are reading this, ask yourself today. What’s my passion for life? What’s that childlike passion in me? Does it still exist? What’s replaced it? When fear and doubt grows like orange mold that’s infected with life-robbing spores, can my joy be transferred through laughter? I believe that God has given every one of us a great gift to be passionate about something! And it started from childhood. As adults, we might have ignored it in the hustle and bluster of 21st century maneuvering.

Our childlike passion forces and then allows us to go against the very fiber of our personality, regardless of how and where we are in life today. That childlike passion still lurks somewhere within us, waiting to be released, it should not stop us from living life to the fullest. I am hoping someone will be encouraged to embrace their childlike passion and be full of life again. Well, just like the little girl in the picture, that’s how I still do it!

Yours in HOPE as I share Montell Jordan (This is how we do it).

Yinka.

 

 

 

 

Sending off 2014 (the favorable, the awful and the mishap) and how I discovered my own strength!

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 8 Comments

year agoHave you ever been in a position where you feel like…Yes… ‘You finally got something done! All the goals you’d created at the end of 2013 have matured and still yielding fruits…nice!

Or are you at a crossroad of a certain goal you created around this time last year that is yet to show case itself?  You know you started 2014 determined and expectant, but along the way something un-expected happened and you get side-tracked or distracted. You’ve practically dragged yourself through the days, the weeks and the months hoping and still expectant. You are not alone! 40% of goal writers are also in this dilemma, but because we are still alive today – ‘there is still time to catch up!

If you are reading this…you are definitely a part of the reason why I am still keeping the faith and encouraged to keep writing and sharing real life’s event through everyday-people’s views, challenges, joy, concerns and testimonies.

Eventually, I’ve learnt that there is a purpose for everyone we meet. Some will test us, some will use us, and some will teach us. But most importantly… some will bring out the best in us. And trust me, it has been all of that for me looking back… but I am buoyantly taking the lessons learnt from it and striding into 2015 with a cheerful mindset, like…Ok! I discovered me!

So, this is a special salutation to all my readers:

“When I thought hope was what you could buy with self-pity, when all I could think of was creating an outlet for passionate expression, even when life’s issues frustrates and dictates above the edge, I found my strength in you, I discovered what lights up my fire and you helped me chase after the match. Little did I know that the same passion was also helping in building me up. Little did I know that our hearts of human tenderness often begins to beat only when we allow and discover a particular pursuit that absorbs us, frees us, challenges us or gives us a sense of meaning, joy or passion. Ah!  I am most grateful and say a big heartfelt Thank you!

For encouraging me by building this blog and also believing in me that there’s more and what’s next? and sincerely always pushing me to just keep writing even when I tell myself I’m done and tired. For constantly tolerating my ‘craze-now/cool-later attitude’ Thank you! (even though I seldom say it) I am grateful and I acknowledge your gifting! smiles… (You know who you are!) God bless!

For everyone who’d find another “New Post from Moving Forward with Yinka” in their mailbox, or a certain commercial-like name (anthonialawrence.com) and would re-consider opening it to read – I say Thank you (I know, sometimes it can be annoying right?) For everyone who’s approached or applauded me with “Hey, that was a beautiful article you posted! “I am inspired” or “You touched me” or “Thanks, that message was for me” “Good one, Yinka” “I love your blog” – I say thank you! (I am more inspired when I know my message is digested).

For my support group at Therapy Sol and Shelter who always welcomed me into their community whenever I needed to spend time with them – a big thank you! For all the readers who were courageous enough to send in their comments or posts or articles – I say thank you (you made me shine more with your bravery!) For all the people I wrote about (living or dead) – thanks for giving me a story to relate to!

For the grace and wisdom to answer some challenging comments, I say thank you for bringing it on! For reconnecting with my college alumni group AIESEC after 20 years and living-forward with them, thanks guys – you still rock!

For the love of poetry/dancing and dragging my family to watch Shakespeare in the park with me in New York City! or for Zumba class… ‘Priceless memories – I say thank you! ‘love you all for life!

For my Greater than Cancer team & My Day out with the Ladies group – You are the best and un-forgettable!’ love you all for real!

For having the courage to discuss the issues of Sexuality, Love, Abuse, Survivorship, Pain and Relationship! I am most grateful to all my guest writers for sharing their platform of awareness and hope. Believe me, you’ve made a difference in someone’s life!

For all those we lost in 2014 – I pray perpetual rest be granted unto them. For new lives and new birth, I pray God’s guidance and protection.

It’s been a beautiful and rewarding 2014. I have gained very useful knowledge. I have been comforted with sincerity. I have rekindled the true meaning of friendship. I have learnt to embrace fondness without breaking a heart. I have learnt to pick my battles. I have also laid down the burdens of aged and disruptive relationship. I have opened my doors and welcomed new tenderness in other people’s shortcoming. I have inquired from God and have learnt to appreciate beauty through the little things I’d been taking for granted. I am a whole year wiser and drunk with life’s passion to succeed, and ready for greater things to come. I hope you’ve all been able to discover some “new strengths’ in 2014.

Thank you everyone…’because you believe in me and made it happen in 2014! ‘See you in 2015 with more of me!

Yours in hope as I share one of my favorite Whitney Houston’s song below.

Yinka.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When “Hurt is Heavy” the co-carrier feels the weight too!

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 15 Comments

palmI met one of the most impressive and amiable person in 1998. I’d just relocated from Maryland, moved into a new apartment in Philadelphia with my husband, close to the Art museum. We had two other Temple University students as co-tenants, except for one, who lived in the front studio. He seldom comes out of his room, but sings and plays the piano with such excellence you’d thought we were neighbors with the gifted singer, Steve Wonder!

One time I heard him play…‘Overjoyed’ I have been building my castle of love! and another time, heard captivating Afro beats, rhythms likened to Fela’s soundtracks coming from his room. Inquisitively and nosily, I’d knocked on his door and was surprised to meet an elderly man with such southern warmth, ‘I’m his father” he’d mentioned with a questioning look, but the man behind the piano told his father It was okay to let me in. “She’s my new neighbor” he stated.

I’d walked into that spacious beautifully decorated studio with my husband… and that was how a mutual “feel-free-to-hang-out-with-me-relationship started between us and the one and only multi-talented Leon Evans, a gifted choreographer, composer, singer-musician, educator and actor who has appeared on stages from Broad Street to Broadway to overseas, but at that moment was in a very challenging period of his life..

August 1998 he died after a prolonged illness. Evans, who sang and arranged vocals for his company, Tru-Le-Hype, also originated and founded Eleone, the Leon Evans Dance Theatre. Eleone, best known for the “Carols in Color” holiday show, has been performing for 15 years. A great companionship gone too soon. My heart bled.

So, just recently I had a painful phone conversation with a girlfriend. She was heavy with hurt. Spiritually helpless by circumstances. Her faith has been greatly challenged and weakened. It broke my heart. I wanted to reach through the phone line and hug her but, of course, I couldn’t.  So I listened, reminded her of God’s love for her, and prayed. And also, shared Leon’s story with her, to encourage her.

But really, why do we feel the pain of others when they are bruised, grazed or scarred? “Because we care..

Today, everyone is desperate for a miracle. Today, someone reading this is feeling overwhelmed or confused. Discouraged by the complicated challenges you face? Perhaps you have a friend who is nursing emotional wounds. There are so many hurting hearts. So many burdens being carried by souls weary of the task. So many people desperate for a miracle from God. Desperate for healing and hope.

What is that burden affecting you or someone you love? Maybe you bear the pain of a broken marriage, broken dreams, or a broken body. If you are desperate for healing, help, and hope, ask the Lord to increase your faith today, and make a determined choice to trust Him. When you do, He will meet your needs and carry the load of your burdens for you.

He lovingly points us to Hope. When we fall before Him in prayer, He will sustain and strengthen us, not when we try to handle things in our own strength, we remain weak and ineffective. Desperate times call for a desperate faith. Faith is the core of our lives. Let’s move forward and turn all our hurts to God.

Yinka.

Collection of short stories – Chapter One

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 20 Comments

all of me

LOVE FOR SALE

Collection of short stories by #moving forward with Yinka

I quickened my pace as the clouds began to gather in the sky. Up to now, the sky had been postcard-perfect, but it was changing. The beautiful cocktail-blue shade was beginning to darken into gravel-grey. Large pillows of cloud were forming, blotting out the old-gold color of the sun. I got the first splatter of rain when I was halfway across the meadow. I took shelter under an old oak, hoping that I could see out the shower.

Droplets of moisture began to drip from the leaves. They were sprinkling onto the grass like a gardener’s hose. Then the rainfall became more intense. A wall of rain moved over the oak and the drops were drumming against the canopy.

So much rain was falling that the sound blurred into one long, whirring noise. It reminded me of the rotor blades on a helicopter. Eventually, the noise lessened and the drops faded into a musical chime. The sun came out again, casting slanted beams of light across the meadow. Steam rose slowly from the grass. It rose up eerily and drifted mist-like towards the molten-gold sun. The image was so vivid that it stayed with me all the way home.

I just can’t stop thinking about her! The lingering scent of stale orange peel on her silk scarf, the powerful commanding way the breeze sends it flying across the field as free as life could offer. This fragile yet alluring body running around happily under the …

To be continued!

Written by: ‘Yinka for Women Weave The World.

www.yinkalawrence.com