A little more kindness

Love songs in a fairy tale world. Do happy endings still exist?

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 9 Comments

I love a good story. I love love-songs that tell stories that are filled with drama, mystery, honesty, hope, grit, tension, release, passion, tenderness, love, restoration, and redemption.ft 1

My all-time favorite love songs/stories combine lots of these elements and finish with a happy-ending. My heart beats loudly for happy-endings and breaks without a sound when there’s an emotional turbulence. (Hmm, maybe that’s why I am still addicted to Indian movies).

I am usually edgy and fidgety at the beginning, a nervous wreck when feelings of passion and rage are about to be smashed by just mere words… ‘words that are so deep-seated, sentimentally erotic and nerve racking whimsical!ft 5

Aha! This is the part where I uncontrollably ball out in tears! The storyline gets to me, whether good or bad. I still get to wipe away a tear, sniffle through the self-acquired misery on behalf of my adopted cast. My enchanted moment!

Eventually, I bounce back to life wondering, Wow! Seriously? ‘Could this be real? ‘true love still exist? why does falling in love have to be so dramatic? ‘or expressing love have to be so painful? When we sing those leisurely played love songs, do we really mean it? I mean like…word for word? Unconditionally? Not like ‘you scratch my back, and I scratch yours too world”? Or are we just residing in a borrowed fairy tale world? Where our words do not align with our actions. ‘More like perfect strangers in a labyrinth drill? Emotion-free!

I remember when Disney’s Aladdin was released in 1992, my friends and I were totally amused by the theme song (A whole new world) and will mime to the lyrics courageously, like we knew exactly the power of love, ‘not that we had it dedicated to anyone special in particular, ‘it was just another karaoke event for us, but the lyrics were just so soothing and comfortable for anyone hoping to fall in love one day! ft 2

It was indeed splendid! I mean, ‘why wouldn’t a-young gal dream of flying on a magic carpet ride, seeing a whole new world with that special guy who can literally operate a magical carpet with his feelings! Remember folks! No mechanical experience needed here!! Fantasy or not. This is utopian! The real maudlin feeling that’s simply romantic! Ah! Tell me, ‘what else does a girl want? LOL!

So, there have been days in my life that have been heavy on the tension and light on the release of still believing in fairy tales. Moments when I’ve felt deep pain and longed for deep peace, hating those fairy tale stories. Weeks when hope evaded my heart because I had chosen to turn from God’s way and defiantly chose Yinka’s way (to live in a fairy tale world) Season’s when I felt like I had messed up so bad that a happy-ending for my life was simply impossible. I’d felt like one of the characters in the book I read and those deep romantic love songs.ft 4

Have you ever felt that way? Like there was a great chasm between your life and a happy-ending? Have you ever felt like you were in a situation, relationship or condition that was un-healable, un-helpable, and un-redeemable? I think we all have. If we are still honest with ourselves.

We all have that perfect love song hidden somewhere inside of us, never used our vocals to express it, but always nursing the lyrics, because they apply to us, it dictates exactly what we are going through and how we are feeling about someone or something.ft 3

One word: LOVE. Perfect, unconditional, doesn’t-matter-who-you-are-or-where-you’ve-been-or-what-you’ve-done love. God made a new and living way for our wounded hearts to be restored … so that everyone of us could experience deep peace, love, forgiveness, and hope.ft 6

What’s your happy-ending story? Still living in a fairy tale world? Hoping you will embrace true love in an authentic world as we begin to count down to the few days remaining in 2015. If you are reading this, remember I love you more and I sincerely mean it. Happy Holidays.

Yours in HOPE as I share my favorite love song/story as Aladdin takes Jasmine on a magical carpet ride. “A Whole New World” (musical recording by Regina Belle and Peabo Bryson).

Yinka

 

 

Comparison – by Kehinde Oguntunde

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 2 Comments

As I went about doing my kitchen chores, I couldn’t help listening to my children’s conversation.comp

“You do not color outside the line”, said the big sister to the little one.

“I know, but it’s my homework, not yours”, she responded.

“Mummy never likes it when we color outside the line, that’s why she likes my painting better”, big sister replied.

At that instant, I knew I had to interrupt their conversation before it escalated into something else. Truth be told, I have always loved neat and beautiful paintings (I was an excellent art student back in high school) and I (unconsciously/consciously) made my older daughter tow my footsteps.

The younger sister on the other hand, detests anything that deals with coloring. In a nutshell, I find myself comparing my kids with each other or perhaps comparing them with me. I’m sure most of us can relate to this.

But the truth is: COMPARISONS ARE DETESTABLE.

If you want to be a miserable mortal, then compare. You compare when you place someone beside someone else for the purpose of emphasizing the differences or showing the likenesses. This applies to places and things as well as people.comp 4

We can become so proficient at this activity that we sustain our addiction through an unconscious force of habit. Inadvertently, the wheels of our thinking slide over into the ruts of this detestable mindset. Comparison appears in at least two forms.

First: We compare ourselves with others. You can imagine the results already. It is either you are prompted to feel smug and proud because your strengths outweigh others weaknesses . . . or, more often, you begin to feel threatened, and inferior because you fail to measure up. Striving to emulate a self-imposed standard, you begin to slide from the pleasant level of achievement of the real you to the sinking sands of I don’t know who. This sometimes leads to extreme role-playing where you try every way to adapt and alter your portrait to fit into someone else’s frame.

In simpler terms, you’ve given away your real personality for a phony disguise. That’s detestable! Paul wrote about similar sentiments to a church that had become known for its comparison cliques:

“We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise”. (2 Cor. 10:12 NIV). The very next verse tells us, “Our goal is to measure up to God’s plan for us”. Not for someone else, but for you, personally. God’s great desire for us is that we fulfill His plan for us in our own lives. In His way—His timing.comp 3

Second: We compare others with others. This is worse than unfair; it’s senseless and often, cruel. Children suffer most from well-meaning adults who show off one child’s talents in front of another child in some misbegotten effort at motivation. This relates to the illustration above with my kids. That sort of comparison is toxic. It poisons a child’s self-image and smothers the very motivation the parent was seeking to arouse.

But children aren’t the only victims. We find ourselves comparing preachers and teachers; church philosophies and orders of service; soloists and song leaders; personalities and prayers; wives and mothers; families and friends; homes and cars; salaries and jobs; husbands and fathers; luxuries and limitations; pain and pleasure.

That’s detestable! Why not accept people and places and things exactly as they are? Isn’t that true maturity? Why not accept and adjust to differences as quickly and enthusiastically as God forgives our wrongs and stands behind our efforts to try, and try again? When love flows, acceptance grows.

Written by: Kehinde Oguntunde for #Moving Forward With Yinka

**About the writer**

Kehinde works as a Data Integrity Specialist. She is happily married to Sola. They both reside in Philadelphia and are blessed with 2 beautiful girls and an adorable boy! She enjoys working with children, reading, writing and of course singing with her husband.

 

Dangerously living in a fool’s paradise.

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 10 Comments

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It’s a beautiful, sunny day and you are going outside to take a walk and enjoy the brush of the heat on your skin. You change your mind, head back inside. Suddenly, you remember that you forgot to take your cell phone with you. But, you want to spend quality time with yourself un-interrupted, like meditate as you stroll around the neighborhood. You don’t want to be reminded of that heart ache you’ve been trying to bury, or that disturbing message you’d received that got you twisted and confused.  The back lash from the grapevine!

Instead, you go back inside, grab a bottle of water and sacrificially bury your cell phone inside the kitchen closet and walk out of the door; chin up, chest out, feeling proud of your little courage. You are certainly on a roll! Phew!

Wait-a-minute! ’Congratulations! Awesome bravery…but, for how long?

I remember in 1995 when the song “Gangsta Paradise by Coolio was just coolio 3released. Every house party in Port Harcourt then played it like they dined and wined with Coolio himself! I didn’t understand the content of the lyrics much, but we all just hummed to the chorus and showed off our hot steps.

Apparently, until much later when I sat down to watch the movie it featured in: “Dangerous Minds” Starring Michelle Pfeiffer as retired U.S. Marine Lou Anne Johnson, who took up a teaching position at Carlmont High School in Belmont, California, in 1989, where most of her students were African-American and Latino teenagers from East Palo Alto, a poverty-stricken, racially segregated, economically deprived city at the opposite end of the school district., the film was released to a mixture of mostly negative critical reception, but became a surprise box office success in the summer of 1995, leading to the creation of a short-lived television series.

At the end of the year, the teacher announces to the class that she will not continue teaching at the school, which prompts an unbridled display of emotion from the students who refuse to let her leave. Overwhelmed, she decides to stay. Hmm!  Yeah…’stay back with the same students who had wickedly crawled up her skin into misery! Who does that?

So, our life is filled with twisters – indecisions, contemplating over lifelong struggles, overcrowded schedules, impossiblecoolio 2 demands from friends and families, unrealistic expectations, emotional bankruptcy, and physical exhaustion. During those turbulent times, how did you handle it?

Growing up, I would run and hide under my blanket or just bury myself in a good book and block the world out until the storm passes over! But now, my blanket is consciously pulled off by my 3 wonderful children reminding me that  (1) Homework needs to be reviewed (2) Dinner needs to be served! (3) Mom! life goes on! just step out of that blanket and get-it-together!

So, I have come to two realizations; first, there will always be another storm and second, what I must do is learn how to prepare for storms before they hit or deal with the storm and move forward!

As we approach the end of the year, let’s think back to the past months and review the reasons why we have been stagnant, stuck or suppressed? any reasons why we just need to bury some hatchets and start afresh?  Have we embraced solitude after a storm?

‘Are we sincerely seeking God’s face for direction? how about how brave Michelle Pfeiffer was in the movie as she dealt with challenges that made her stronger and daring even at the face of death? Or Coolio’s heart rendering concerns on how we live our lives in false declaration?  ‘are we still in tune with personal goals to do better? Are we addicted to social praise? Craving for recognition or acceptance by a confused world itself?

Why do we still always end up hurting each other, with our bashful words and resentful attitude? Even as we portray such magnitude of holiness, while our personal mirror sees us as Pharisees? ‘Aren’t we still living in that hooded paradise? Hopefully, by the time we begin the countdown, our hearts will take us to places our emotions dare to thread; so that our mind, body and soul will be renewed for 2016.

Yours in HOPE as I share one of my favorite Coolio’s music/Dangerous Minds soundtrack: “Gangsta Paradise”

Yinka.

The Battlefield: by Wadza Mhute

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 1 Comment

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In the past few weeks’ protests ignited on college campuses across the country.

The impetus for the University of Missouri protest was the Black Lives Movement that started from the death of Michael Brown last year at the hand of a policeman.

Students at the university under the banner of Concerned Student 1950 (referring to the year the first black students were admitted into the school) wanted the removal of the university president. After incidents of racism and antisemitism were not taken seriously by the president, protests culminated in his resignation. Subsequently protests at Yale and Ithaca College started because of similar incidents on their campuses.

It seems the country has been re-ignited with the fires of revolution that swept through the country in the 1950s and 1960s. This thing we call “skin color melanin” really has caused division and will continue to divide.

What are we to do in these times? It is important to know that there is nothing new under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 1: 9-10 What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.

Is there anything of which one can say, “Look! This is something new”? It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time.

The only thing constant is God. We have to understand and believe that, If we protested every slight issue whether based on racism, on class divisions, on xenophobia – where does it end? As long as there is evil in this world, those issues will exist. I am not saying we need to remain silent when provoked but we should not put all our hope, all our faith in an unjust earthly system. Change came in the 1960s and again in 2008 with the inauguration of the first black President.

The revolution indeed caused change.

Perspective is needed. If you look at the revolutions against slavery which led to the Emancipation Proclamation in the 1863 and the civil rights movement lead by Martin Luther King, there was a common thread – Christianity. Let us even go back to the slavery of the Israelites in Egypt. God heard their cries just as he will hear the cries of the protesters in 2015 but the key is to cry to God above and not man below. While boots are crisscrossing campuses, let knees also stain the ground as prayers simultaneously go up to the one who can bring freedom to all.

Isaiah 49: 24-25  ‘Can plunder be taken from warriors, or captives be rescued from the fierce? But this is what the Lord says: “Yes, captives will be taken from warriors, And plunder retrieved from the fierce; I will contend with those who contend with you, And your children I will save.

We need to see ourselves as God sees us, we need to love as God loves and we need to put our faith in God.

God sees all.

Written by Wadza Mhute for #Moving forward with Yinka.

Turning the waiting Game into a favored Date!

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 27 Comments

(Open letter of encouragement to my single and searching friends)

Erika absent-mindedly toyed and twirled with the tip of her champagne glass. Loosing count already of the numbers of weddings she’s had to dance in as the maid of honor! Or wake the bride up at 7am for facial or call up the video crew to come up for recording as the lucky bride, her childhood friend excitedly slip on her silver Manolo Blahnik pumps. Oh no! I can’t be jealous! She muttered under her breath as beads of perspiration and anxiety begins to swell up on her foreheadMAID OF HONOR.

Uncountable evil thoughts and imaginary demons of her past began to creep up the back of her neck, “Why not me? She’s quickly taken back by the deep Barry White-like voice of the bride’s younger brother; as he bumps into her, asking her for a dance.

‘Good-gracious-Lawd! ‘Why is he so cute but painfully too young for me? He’s 6 years younger! Maybe I shouldn’t care about the age thing? Or is that not robbing the cradle! What will people say? Geez! Do I sound desperate! Yeah, maybe I should, am in my late 30s and un-married! And drooling over a kindergartener! On and on, these thoughts kept strolling in and out of her head, until it was her turn to give the toast, she walked up to the center of the room, clutching her champagne glass like her life depended on it, tears falling freely drenching her perfectly made-up face, she opened her mouth, stammered and then it all happened…

Today…‘Can-we-talk-about-men? Maybe not about how adorable Spain’s Rafael Nadal looked at the last US Open, or about the outrageously offensive comment from Donald Trump’s anti-immigrant, anti-Latino, anti-woman lead. Or even that personal crush “yours truly” has on Bruno Mars! (Smiles).single 1

Let’s ignore the tabloids today and do real talk! and really If we are all being honest with ourselves, and I assure you, today I’m all about straight talk – which means that I have to confess that our mindset is one of the biggest obstacles to living as an uncluttered woman when it comes to dealing with the issues of men.

Even as I am still married 18 years and counting to the same guy I found with two left feet on the dance floor at Club Towers about 22 years ago! I must admit that every aspect of our relationship only gets better with age, tolerance and understanding (even sex). I know that I should depend solely on God for direction and strength, and I am thriving! Most of us would admit that this is the case. Whether we are married or single! We are all in the same boat, only difference is our sense of resistance.

Is it not hard enough that we have to sift through all that is thrown at us each day? We begin a flourishing relationship, we nurture it with all we have and pray it flourishes well enough for a blossoming ever after effect, but then disarray happens and it challenges all of us. I’m in the foxhole with you and readily admit that navigating this crazy world of handling loverelationship is complicated.

There are so many things that compete for our attention and clutter our decision-making: our faith, emotions, materialism, negative thinking, busy schedules, doubts, laziness, self-reliance, self-esteem, family baggage, our past pains and failures, expectations, technology, work, our need to control things, our need to be accepted, finances, debt, stress, addictions, discontentment and then… relationships. Argh! And I’m just getting started! This list could go on forever. Anyone feeling me?

Does fear of the unknown keep us from taking a big leap of fate in choosing a partner? ‘are you still single and confused about your choice based on what the world projects HIM to be? Torn between giving a chance to someone you ‘kind of’ like but doesn’t have that ‘it’ factor you have always dreamt of!- If only! The lips were fuller! The skin was darker! The height was intact! If only he has 6 packs like Nadal! If only he could sing and be so romantic like Adam Levine! And the “if only” list goes on and on because we have so programmed our brain to only embrace that which is only portrayed in our fairy tale-mindset. Not until our biological clock begins to tick faster, attracts family concerns and un-solicited friendly advice. When will it be? With who? Phew!cook 1

Here’s the deal. We all have an idea of what we want in someone, especially when dating that we imagine will become a life time commitment, we still need to be careful what we wish for!  A lot of courtship now are more interested in acquiring the “Trophy image”. Isn’t that an exposure of the self-esteem issue? Picking and dictating and getting fanned in our ego? Maybe it’s a blessing you are taking your time rather than rushing into marriage because of desperate measures? To please who? Friends? The society? Family? Or break an ancestral curse of bondage? Shouldn’t the decision of a life time commitment between a couple be consecrated unto God only? And no other external factors?

Is there really a manual or instruction kept somewhere for finding the perfect guy? Is Mr. Right sold on store shelves on demand at a high cost, with no bargaining options? What’s going on ladies? What’s with the fuss? You abandoned the one that shows affection all because he doesn’t really fit into your to-get manual? You chase after the one that thinks about you only in mode-nudity? Would you rather rush in and marry the one you first fall in love with? Whose heart probably is still hooked onto a bunch of broken-hearted ladies, who’d probably cursed out his destiny for abandoning them like a bad habit?dont rush

Maybe all we really need to do is sincerely and genuinely love ourselves first! Our inner joy radiates and attracts people to us, even if we are dressed in our best outfit! More so, there is a sense of calmness and peace when we are at our best (genuine and sincere) as opposed to be being two-faced and pretentious all because we are seeking a partner. Won’t that veil eventually come off after a while? Especially when finally you become one?bsb pix

I am writing this to encourage and uplift someone who’s been on that “waiting list”. Someone who’s loved someone so deep it hurts that you are no more together or you were betrayed and abandoned. I am writing this to encourage someone who’s torn between deciding what to do next as that biological clock ticks away, I am encouraging someone single and searching to live life lovely…again! Do you! Love you! Discover you! Create fun for yourself! Join a local Zumba class and sweat out your girlish giggles at those sensual dance moves, travel more, attend seminars that enlightens, sign up for exotic cooking classes, volunteer at homeless shelters or join a book club. Get it together! Rather than sit on your couch, text your fans or post your latest heartbreak story on Facebook. Love yourself first.

Allow prince charming to discover you at your best leisure self-mode! It is okay to be agitated at the biological clock, it’s just doing its duty. You just need to prove it wrong that love comes better in your own time, God’s time! Sometimes when a dream is dead, it just needs to be prompted. Discover your true joy, bury yourself in it, and let the right guy come dig you out! Here’s how you can start, out of faith, write an imaginary letter to your “future husband” and paste on your refrigerator – trust me. It’s a positive reinforcement!

“Dear Future Husband, You are still in my prayers. When you are ready, according to God’s will, kindly press the bell once. I am not impatient or mad at you, for taking so long! I’m not afraid of commitment. I am also taking my time, learning new things and discovering myself. My inner beauty radiates daily with new strength from God. Meekly Yours, Your Future Wife”.

Yours in HOPE as I share Meghan Trainor’s Dear Future Husband.

Yinka.

 

Set me free from my prison that I might praise your name: CANCER AWARENESS MONTH.

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 9 Comments

A young vibrant guy who conducted an interview with me on Cancer Awareness stepped back, arms bigger than cancerakimbo, with an exaggerated comical look and blotted out “No Way Ma! ah,’You are too young and fine to have cancer! How can? Oh please be serious! – Oh yes! I smiled back at him. “Forget the stage make up, the girlish attitude and the glamorous accessories you see, “Yeah! ‘This girl is a survivor” and for the next 5 minutes, everything became still and silent, we became deep in thoughts, hands clutched together like a praying mantis as he began praising God.20141018_104043

October is national breast cancer awareness month. It is one of those months that challenges me to sit up and be proactive in the campaign for raising awareness about the importance of early detection and treatment. Not necessarily because I am a cancer survivor, but more so, it is a season for me to reflect on the peaceful acceptance of finally stepping away from my confinement.

When we hear the word “PRISON or CONFINEMENT”, many times we get cold feet, we tremble and begin to panic. Our imagination begins to run wild and far, flashes of hardened looking incarcerated criminals in jumpsuits, locked up behind metal bars, dangling and clanging of handcuffs, organized and monitored scheduled visits with restrictions as prison security officers stand by with un-assuming looks tough enough to crush a wandering cockroach! But, that’s just the physical aspect of the lockup, and with time upon release or admonishment life goes on.

But really, our emotional state of mind (feelings) is actually one of the most dangerous and poisonous prison we have created for ourselves, without even knowing. It is our man-made confinement. An habitual lockup. A casual second skin jail. A renowned penitentiary that usually needs no administrative admittance. We casually stroll in and out of it without realizing it or knowing the damages it’s capable of. Hmmm.can 3

There are many emotions that cause us to slump and become crippled emotionally. Worry wears us down. Regret ruins our confidence. Hatred hardens our hearts. Unforgiveness stains our souls. Bitterness binds our hearts. Insecurity incapacitates our capabilities.

Not knowing what our God-given purpose is or suppressing our enthusiasm or pessimism is a form of imprisonment. It is not only when we are locked up or detained physically. Being blessed with a story and not using it wisely for its purpose, is an emotional confinement. Not creating or maintaining a desired platform is a jail term. Our conscience becomes the court of law that requires no physical judge.

Are you crippled emotionally today? Do words from your past tell you “not good enough,” Procrastination and inadequacy were my two close companions. I didn’t like these two lurking shadows, but they followed me everywhere I went. Stalkers, that’s what they were. They stalked me, yelling taunts and accusations that no one heard but me. The more I listened to them, the more emotionally crippled I became. Until I re-branded my passion by turning my pain into someone’s gain. walk instead

Are we aware that there is a message for us all during our time of confinement? To be able to declare God’s goodness in our lives. That we are indeed a living testimony irrespective of our past, our shame or our dirt!

As you are reading this today, Ask yourself, what is my prison? Is there something in my life that is crippling my spirit? Pain? Unforgiveness? Bitterness? Resentment? Guilt? Sorrow? Worry? Regret? Comparison? If so, let’s cut it loose with the saber of praise, cast it off, and throw it away. God calls us sheep; and sheep are not pack animals. We are not meant to carry such burdens with these scrawny legs of ours. If we try, we will only bend under the pressure we were never meant to bear.woman

Get out of your confinement and join me this weekend, as we prepare for the annual MAKING STRIDES FOR CANCER AWARENESS 4k WALK ON Saturday, October 17TH @ 7:30AM, right in front of the PLEASE TOUCH MUSEUM, MEMORIAL HALL, in PHILADELPHIA PA. No more slumping in self-doubt or hunching in half-hearted conviction. But rather LET’S stand up to the full stature of a confident being, equipped by God, empowered by the Holy Spirit, and enveloped in Christ.

Yours in HOPE as I share Mary Mary ” Shackles”.

Yinka.

“Set me free from my prison that I might praise your name’ (Psalm 142:7a NIV).

 

Branding our optimism: Standing up straight and tall. PART ONE.

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 21 Comments

When I was a teenager, my mother used to threaten me whenever I hunched over at the dining table. “If you don’t sit up and finish up your food,’ she’d say, ‘I’m going to have to buy you a therapeutic back brace from Bola Chemist.” Honestly, I don’t even know if Bola Chemist make or sell back braces back then, but it sounded like a pretty good threat to me. Just the thought of passing through St Nicholas hospital or General Hospital all next door to Bola Chemist gave me nightmares! So I decided to cultivate a habit of always sitting up straight even when my mother’s prying eyes are not following me. And it worked out well, even until now as I’ve had to deal with some of life’s deep slumping experiences. And still ongoing.lag 3

So, I recently just returned from one of the greatest and fulfilling trips of my life! I was very blessed for encountering such beautiful and dedicated people back in Nigeria who deeply shared my passion for creating and making success stories happen. Not because the society requests it for status quo or cheap publicity, but because their love for humanity and community service is genuine.

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Talking about CANCER AWARENESS.

I’d learnt that carrying a banner to display a passion is not the same as connecting one-on-one with real life people, dealing with real life issues. Sometimes, creating a platform of awareness for our passion or a desired cause goes beyond media or social network. Connecting with the soul-carrier is deeper.

For the great opportunity given to me by Samson @TREK magazine who met with me at my parent’s house on the Island for the one-on-one interview on AUTISM AWARENESS IN NIGERIA and my proposal on establishing a support group/Autism school in Lagos. I am very grateful! For connecting me with various NGOs and Healthcare Administrators in Lagos. Thank you.

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ON AIR with KBABALOVEDOCTOR of WAZOBIA 95.1 FM, Lagos.

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With K Baba, Host of WAZOBIA FM’S “Love Clinic”

My midnight ON AIR radio show host connector! Ogunleke Kayode Clement aka. KBABA THE LOVE DOCTOR of  WAZOBIA 95.1 FM on Etim Inyang Street, V/Island. DR. Love! I hail! I salute! I am so thrilled and still excited about our ON AIR show. Thanks for giving me the platform to discuss more on #Moving Forward With Yinka! For giving me the opportunity to be your special guest on ‘Love Issues – relationships and marriage segments. Thanks for allowing me to be part of the panel for taking on calls from concerned and confused callers who needed help pertaining their love lives! Thanks for embracing my optimism on CANCER AWARENESS in Nigeria and allowing me to talk ON AIR to numerous wa 6listeners all over the world about my own personal journey as a 5year-cancer survivor. Oops! (Thanks for bringing out the best Pidgin English in me! Lol). You are truly appreciated. God bless you plenty my broda! – “As u don do for me dis good so! Na only better go dey come ya way o! (Lol).

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Autism Awareness Interview with Olori 60 Minutes TV in Lagos.

Special thanks to my team at 60 Minutes TV, Lagos! Olori 60 minutes! My PA and favorite niece! My personal graphics and studio manager, LeeGrapher! And everyone at 60 minutes TV. For the interview on Autism Awareness and support group in Nigeria, for connecting me with all the different families dealing with the challenges that come with caring for a special needs child in Nigeria. For every family who showed up and have embracedlag 4 the need for Autism awareness, and were more interested in finding a common ground for intervention! Because of you all, my journey to Lagos was successful! I pray that God continues to strengthen you all, emotionally and physically.

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FGGC Sagamu class of 1990 reunion @ Lekki.

A girly-shout out to my Almer Mater, Federal Government Girls College Sagamu class of ’90, for organizing a reunion luncheon at Lekki on OCT 1st! Love you all great shagamites! So good to see/hear from you all. Special thanks to Oby Ejekam-Ekekwe for creating what’s App Class of 1990 “P” Girls chat room! Babes, even after 25 years! You all still look smashing in your 40s! God’s hands’ is surely on us.

So, if you are reading this, ask yourself, what does it take to stand up straight and tall in your life? What is it that hinders my growth? Am I failing to thrive? Do I know my purpose for life? How can I package my idealism or confidence? Talk to me! Hmmm…

To be continued next week…

Yours in HOPE

Yinka.

Awakening the stolen dream.

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 7 Comments

 Do you remember how fulfilled and excited you felt the last time you worked very hard on a given project? The success story and fantastic feedback has your talented fingerprints scribbled all over! People are amazed and surprised at the wonders of this enigma. Wow!  Nice Job!  Who did this?  How?girl 2

Oh! look at you! grinning with smiles of accomplishment.

But not for long. So you decided to brand your creativity, by stamping your image to it, the same astonished world starts to stammer and stutter, there’s fidgeting and uneasiness. Everything begins to go wrong from nowhere. Suddenly, your title shifts to “weird” or “proud” or “non-efficient or not-so-good”.

As criticism sets in, self-awareness seeks comfort in pity-party. Why? ‘Is it because it’s your swag? But, that’s what makes you stand out in the crowd of plenty! Your own God-given capability. It cannot be stolen, knocked down or reproduced. Its your WOW factor!

While some label it Destiny, others says it’s a blessing to be destined for greatness without being tortured by negative people. And because the world cannot handle your achievement, you begin to wonder-out-loud…”Where-did-I-go-wrong? Hmm.

You peep through the portals of your heart and discover that traces of pretentious doubt and cowardly low self-esteem were actually planning on visiting you soon! So you sit alone in the dark cold room and ask yourself, is it your fault? ‘that God has so blessed you with such gifting that others can’t contain the volume? Should I fall through the cracks based on a critical point of view? Or should I just keep heading towards my goal in life, pushing aside any storm? What to do?

When I was a little girl, one of my favorite things to do was to climb up to the top of the playground swing bar and spin around and around until I was silly-dizzy, and then fall to the ground with a giggly heart. It was thrilling, childish and fun.

And so, my idea of primary school breaks became swinging and hanging on to the bar of the swing set at the school playground with my adorable childhood best-friend, Virginia Wilcox (now Mrs. LeBouf) She was my main dream maker, cheerleader and also my competitor. We will do cart wheels on the hard terrazzo floors! Twirl around and somersault on the cobalt blue wall to wall carpeted auditorium during Mrs. Benson’s music class, as the other students hiss, applaud or watch in dis-belief!girl 1

What a joke! Such silly boyish girls!

With our tightly knotted woolen emerald green dangling ribbons, we didn’t care if our short green school uniform would become dusty or torn from the constant mounting of the swing bars; we didn’t care if the boys were actually peeping to see our oversized mommy-made PE (physical education) shorts.

We just loved to express our athletic talent, especially as the other prim and proper girls, with perfectly pressed silky hair pulled back in assorted rayon ribbon pass by with looks of disdain and disgust! Rolling their eyes in unison.

Virginia and I. Two best friends with so much in common, two tiny mischievous  primary school girls, one in scattered box braids and the other threaded hair, nicely packed up with that very annoying silky black thread! But, we couldn’t have cared less, we weren’t bothered that we were not playing “Miss Mary-Mark” or ‘Mother May I” In our own way or world, we were just genuinely happy and content with ourselves. We were pace-setters, trend-setters and annoyingly so darn confident in our tiny selves!

Eventually we both attended the same secondary school and then same University, and after graduation, we both drifted away apart slowly and totally surrendered to life’s new extension of a real world roller coaster. A much serious one to swing on! But we never gave up on our quest to be all we can.

Today, ask yourself; How do I fight back?  whether you are criticized poorly or ignored intentionally because of that powerful element in you. Believe me, life will surely throw one or two storms of self-doubt  and distraction your way once you begin to rise. The plan is to make you feel less worthy or discouraged about your vision. Don’t fall for it!what they say

Whether you have been hurt, jilted, abandoned, used or called weird names even after you have so proved your self-worth with true sincerity; Be Encouraged! it is just a mere distraction building you up for tomorrow. It is time to wake up from that deep slumber and face the dream breakers or dream killers in your life with one thing; Fight them back with that same creative zeal or crazy passion and be hungry for more success! No matter what people think about your value, You need to know your own worth first! and be grateful to God for choosing you above all others, but don’t be patronized.

Yours in HOPE as I share Rachel Platten’s ‘Fight Song’.

Yinka.

“What The Steward Saw” (love? greed? lust or deception?) FIND OUT!

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / Leave a comment

niyi pix

Does love bind? Does it separate the man and the woman? Does it unite a woman’s spirit with her man’s flesh, and his spirit with her flesh, fusing them into one passion? Can it sanctify all? Can it render the flesh holy and the spirit carnal? If so, why all the heart aches, break ups and all the drama?

They say love can often transcend the boundaries of culture and class. Well, so can secrets, lies, jealousy, and the facade of perfection.

Three sisters of African descent, Yetunde, the responsible eldest, Oyinlola, the peacemaker, and the outgoing youngest Kikelomo. They all find themselves set astir by Oyinlola’s unexpected new relationship with William, a former playboy who has now changed his ways and is now a devout Christian… For real? Hmmm.

Seen through the eyes of their long-standing and gossipy steward, Yawa!

“What the Steward Saw” is an evocative and hilarious new show that depicts a blend of Philosophy, Ideologies and Cultural differences as the sisters realize their ordered family has many secrets. So many secrets hidden! Some are obvious and others less so, leading to questions.

Are there unforgivable pasts?  Are there irreconcilable actions or lifestyles?

Scored with multi-genre music, “What The Steward Saw” promises to be an entertaining and thought-provoking night at the theatre!

*** Dates: August 22nd 4pm and 7pm/August 23rd 5pm Only

 *** Venue: 444 Theatre: @ 444 Highland Avenue, Atlanta GA 30312

*** Tickets: $30 Advanced Tickets/ $35 @ Door / $20 @ Group Tickets (10+)

Available online @ www.whatthestewardsaw.com

Ike’s Café @ 920-542-2636

For more information click on www.whatthestewardsaw.com

Yours in HOPE as I proudly promote and celebrate my Childhood-Best-Buddy! – ‘Lo Niyi Ogunsanwo, Director/Producer of BANEO ENTERTAINMENT! 

Yinka.

“I know what you did in the past” – ‘SO WHAT!!!

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 8 Comments

Moving ahead of  “I know what you did in the past” entitlement attitude. Time to shout back, “So What!”

It is another Friday evening with my “gang” (as I fondly call my once-a month-girls-hang-out colleagues). We are sitted at our favorite spot inside Ms. Tootsie on South Street; waiting patiently for the Chef’s special to be served. For a change, I ignored my obsession for their collard green; (always slowly cooked and delicately garnished with smoked turkey chops). Staring at us, our abandoned funky glasses that looks like an inverted pyramid, begging to be touched; un-finished virgin Piña Colada, Lemon Drop Martini and Long Island Iced Tea. Tonight, it’s my turn to pick a topic of discussion for all to debate on before we hit the karaoke room to display our happy kidsawkward singing sensation.

Not today! (arrgh!) My mind is just so crowded. Could it be am under stress from prepping for the Autism talk coming up soon? Or could it be tension from my current Law & Ethic class with my very critical professor giving me a tough time that’s bringing up this scholarly headache, probably from reading about all those outrageous legislative amendments! Where do I begin? No matter what, I must produce a topic for my girls-night-out! Phew!

And then the light bulb flickered on inside my head! The tabloid had it.

BLINK! My eyelashes flickered in excitement!

With sudden exaggerated confidence, I cleared my throat and asked: How do you defend or confront your past stories? Why should you try to defend an old error you made in the time of unknown? Should you fight to prove a point? Or just let it be? After all, it was in the past?

I settled back in the lumpy cabin chair, grabbed my drink, picked out the drained cherry and gulped it down with a sigh! An obvious smirk on my face as I watched the reaction on the faces of my dear friends: The fashion conscious Oriental accounting guru, who can give a lecture on the importance of bikini wax! The chocolate-skin Jamaican groover with killer dance steps and large heart, who still dreams of approaching Usher for stealing her dance moves, hmm! The soft-spoken, emotional and always in-love Caucasian, ah! Don’t mention cupid near her! And the very outspoken full mouthed, full-bodied and very affectionate African-American, whose southern accent flows freely when she’s excited!

Tell me ladies, how do you fight back?

Our entitlement attitude defines how we react and respond to what we know or hear about other people. It is like an ownership title or power we have over someone or something revealed to us in confidence, trust or at a time of vulnerability. It can be our boastful privilege of the known amongst the unknown, Our rights to the exposed and broken in spirits, it is the burden of the weight of another person’s secret and how we secure it within the depth of our hearts or how we tend to view them, even after the vow for secrecy or confidentiality has been made. For a moment, we could be judgmental or biased without even knowing it, which is okay; just for that moment, but not for long. It is not our path, not our business or our story!

So, recently there’s been shocking photos of the British royal family giving a Nazi salute in 1933 on the grounds of Balmoral, their castle in the Scottish Highlands. It was taken from a recently unearthed family film, and has sparked a controversy in Britain; the ancient footage of the queen being coached into a Nazi salute by her uncle Edward was taken at a time when she could not possibly have understood the gesture’s significance. Film shot eight decades ago and apparently from Her Majesty’s personal family archive has been obtained and exploited in this manner. The very words: “Queen filmed doing Hitler salute” are, however, so innocently delicious that no tabloid could fail to run this antique trifle.

And her reply to the tabloid? “So What! “It is my past” “Not yours! Deal with it!

Wow! That was a very good one. Wouldn’t life be so much easy-going if we all can boldly lash back by saying ‘So What? “What you going to do about it? “It’s my story and my property” “What gives you ownership or entitlement over my past?” What makes you think you can pull me down because you know something juicy about my past? “That was then, and it was all a plot you never got a part in then” So “beat it! (Lol) Of course, it’s meaningless. Of course, it’s a wonderful scoop. We reserve our right to feign outrage.

Ask yourself today, how have I handled my entitlement attitude? Do I puff my chest out and claim ownership over the story-teller? Do I dominate their weakness because I know the button to push to ridicule the storyteller? Have I been compassionate enough to feel the pain or burden of the storyteller? Have I used it negatively for my own selfishness? Have I uplifted or inspired the story-teller?

No matter how we see it, it is still their Story, Their Past, Their Blunder, Their Pain and Their Lapse. Sometimes that place they don’t even want to remember or re-visit ever again. When we are told a secret or when we are confided in, we are more or less the preferred audience at that time, maybe a very special one. Because it usually takes a lot for someone in pain to open up about a worrisome past. That does not make us a tell-tale superhero or a local broadcaster. The only part we play is either to encourage or inspire. It is not our story to judge or juggle with. It is a silent call for help, one clothed with regrets or sad memories. Let’s get rid of the anchorman mentality!

Here is a quick fix for someone reading this; when approached or ridiculed for a story from your past, develop the courage to smile as you say “SO WHAT” and mean it like you don’t really need a reply either. Yeah, it is a Rhetorical question! What gives us that sense of entitlement anyway? Part of it is found in the middle of the word entitlement itself: “title.” We think people “owe us” because of the title we hold in their lives: Oh please! Time has changed, people are moving forward with new beginnings and new mindset. I am like those boys in the picture above! The change in time doesn’t have to bother us! I also had stains from life’s tragedy, still living and am still howling ‘So what! – ‘like we all don’t have a sweet and sour past? I do, and so does everyone reading this too, but thank God for his mercy! He made all things new! We are all in a better place today as we move forward in life!

Yours in HOPE as I share “Moving Forward” Victory World Music feat. Montell Jordan, Ricardo Sanchez & Israel Houghton.

Yinka.