True life stories from Abused Teenagers and Women in Shelter.

So, it’s another Friday evening, I am super exhausted from bike riding with the kids! But, if you are reading this: You probably didn’t plan anything distinctive for tonight or you’re on your way out or to bed, or still deliberating on both. Whatever it is – Have you ever considered…

“Friday night at the Shelter? Dinner, Bingo, Movie and a lot of real life” D-R-A-M-A”

For us in the pews, testing ourselves must include deliberating about our vocations and whether we are called to missions, or to a life of dedicated service to the needy, or to creating reminders with art and culture of the gospel’s transcendent, everlasting hope.

Discovering a radical faith may mean revisiting the ways in which faith can take shape in the mundane; it almost certainly means embracing the providence of God in our witness to the world.

The Good Samaritan wasn’t a good neighbor because he moved to a poor part of town or put a pile of trash in his living room. He came across the helpless victim “as he traveled.” We begin to fulfill the command not when we do something radical, extreme, over the top, not when we’re really spiritual or really committed or really faithful, but when in the daily ebb and flow of life, in our corporate jobs, in our middle-class neighborhoods, on our trips to the mall or Disney World—and yes, even short-term mission trips—we stop to help those whom we meet in everyday life, reaching out in quiet, practical, and loving ways.

I volunteered to spend an evening with some teenagers undergoing psychotherapy evaluation from molestation and sex addiction in order to finish a book I was writing.

So, I met with Arianna at a shelter I was assigned to sometime ago. She just turned 16 and was excited about getting a new tattoo. Through our conversation and her open hysteria about my sing-tune accent, she’d mentioned being raped at ages: 9, 10 and 11…

(To be continued next week Friday)

www.yinkalawrence.com

#movingforwardwithyinka on Tumblr

 

 

Hello Everyone,

I am excited to inform you that #Moving Forward With Yinka has moved to a new page,

titled: http://www.yinkalawrence.com

My Book Club/Blog Page is located at my new website.

Now reading… “Things We Lost In The Storm” (my collection of short stories)

Now reading…”Friday Night Conversation with Yinka” (true life stories from abused teenagers/ women in shelter)

Now reading…”Escape Lyrics” – Poems from the heart.

Now reading…”Bringing Sexy Back” – Rekindle the flame of love, sex and passion in your marriage and finding purpose to fulfil our desire to be valuable.

Hope to see you there!

Yinka.

BOOK CLUB AND NEW BLOG @ http://www.yinkalawrence.com

http://www.yinkalawrence.com

 

 

 

http://www.yinkalawrence.com

Look into the mirror, and the impression that jumps back at you is familiar. Why? Because it is expected. Even when we pretend like we never saw it coming. It is right there. It could be favorable or not so cool, but it will only show us an outward reflection of who we are. Mirrors don’t lie. They only show a part of truth. A broken mirror can enlarge a face up to a dimension of a small planet. The problem is how we handle the reflection we get. Are we really who we are seeing? Or what we want the world to see? Hmm.

Growing up in the Brazilian-Quarters of Lagos, among the many passed-down antiques from my grandparents was this beautiful crafted long standing mirror. It must have been about 6 feet tall with artisan crafted edges made with dark polished wood trimmings, the spiral-cursive finishing of the wood in resemblance to the Portuguese architectural arch molding on the house, splendid to touch which makes me wonder as a child, how many hours it took to build this mirror! That mirror was my greatest companion. In front of that mirror – I ruled the world with my singing and dancing, well that was decades ago!

Unlike any other furniture in our home, it stood alone, always in the center to create awareness for vain on-lookers, served as a meeting point for aunts and cousins to adjust their hats before leaving for Easter mass at the Cathedral, and also drag back any passerby who’s chosen to ignore its beauty. The mirror itself was a view to withhold. It carried volume in appearance. It sorrowfully departed the world through my Brother’s 1980’s-disco moves on his newly-acquired roller skate! ‘Love you still, Bros!

So, sometimes mirrors give us a false sense of confidence. The reflection that we see every day has nothing to do with how others see us. A crack in that glass and the reflection we get back is awkward and not very pleasant. This is just like our individual crack in life. What others sees about us that’s glamorous and appealing is exactly the cover page we worked hard to display. The secrets the mirror has is our before and after. Our true identity. Our natural image. Be it good or bad. It tells, If we are tender in our approach towards other people’s feeling? If we are judgmental? If we harbor hatred or love outwardly or buckled up with guilt, inwardly. If the words of our mouth blesses or discriminate? If our attitude is divinely appealing or just enviously-bad! Are we two-faced? Do we take other people’s feelings for granted? Do we even care, if our purpose of existence is in line with God’s plan? Even the mirror knows all about our split images, before the glass cracks.

Today, I am encouraging someone to stare right back at that mirror with a positive attitude. With all absolute human certainty that no one can really know their own beauty or perceive a sense of their own worth until it has been reflected back to them in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.

We all carry with us through life a mirror, as unique and impossible to get rid of as our shadow, and because we sometimes can’t see what’s right in front of us, because it’s behind us, we’re still looking into the past! Our God is like a mirror, Consistent, Stable, and Un-changing; He reflects His image of us even when we break the glass. He see us Clear, Crystal and Undimmed. Let’s bolster our attitude, so our image and reflection are connected.

May God help us all!
Yinka

“Your adornment must not be merely external – braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”-I Peter 3:3&4

May 28th 2014, the world lost a gem, a very rare one. But because I personally found my joy of writing in that rare gem, I have come to accept that, she’s not gone forever! In my heart and many other people who have come to value her worth of spoken and written words, her legacy lives on, her once crowded and dark cupboard with crooked legs, is now that priceless remedy, that soothing balm that heals and inspires, those expressive words: very deep, precise, real, cutting, profound, rooted and yearning. Even the most timid person can relate to her past, embrace her juicy livelihood and rise with her into the future.

Sometime ago while I was still in the University of Port Harcourt, studying English! For a presentation we were required to write an autobiography on a famous woman of our choice. Well, a non-existing one, I’d quickly picked Evita Peron and Lady Diana. Even though I wanted badly to write on Maya, but very well she was still very much existing, and her wellbeing was priority. And I remember, when I informed the lecturer then (Professor Helen Chukwuma, fondly known as ‘Madame” – currently a full Professor of English in Jackson State University, Mississippi, USA) and she’d smiled and urged me to go ahead with Evita instead. Her words were: “We all still need Maya alive” That was 18 years ago.

I read ‘I know why the caged bird sings” and was blown away by her deep expressive utterances of a broken past, that’s been written in such a way that allows the reader to travel back in time into their own childhood and feel the joy and pain mixed with reconciliation. A heavy pang of illusion overwhelmed me, and I just had to go back to the beginning to read it again – this time, capturing every alluring moment – till I got to the last paragraph: “She turned out the light and I patted my son’s body lightly and went back to sleep”. Compelling, captivating and easily approachable!

My favorite of her poems, Still I Rise! I know has really helped a lot of people going through some kind of difficult transition with life. We’d used this poem as a theme during shelter visitation with abused teenagers, for women going through counseling for some kind of battery or addiction and also during a group discussion to help boost self-esteem and self- confidence.

She will be greatly missed and has done her calling above and beyond with her strength and words that we shall never forget, there’s no pomp and pageantry about her, even without meeting her in person, you automatically connect with her personality, her words build and create freedom in breaking down barriers with whatever storms there may be. She has given herself as an example of a crushed seed, but not a destroyed sprout. She’s grown out of it by using her God given talent of “talking freely” to help inspire others. Her past is her testimony, her life’s work, a legacy for us all, and a force of humanity.

Today, I am encouraging someone to look beyond whatever bitter, twisted lies or dirt that has been written down about them in history, But still, like dust, “To Rise”

Just like moons and like suns, with the certainty of tides, Just like hopes springing high, Still to get up and… Rise.

May God Help us all
Yinka

Our response to crisis around us is an outward exhibit to our display of faith. Showing Empathy (understanding and support) and Sympathy (sensitivity and unity), determines our outcome of faith.

Our heart breaks as mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, uncles and grandparents when we know our daughter is in distress, and we are unable to release her burden. Our helplessness displays our crushed and sorrowful minds, even as we are made to just wait and hope. Our vision for the aspiring young girls is collapsing, making our view of the world turn into a magnifying glass that’s dented with premature cracks from over-usage.

Who-is-that-Girl? She’s funny, friendly, exasperating, endearing……how would you describe your daughter, your sister, your niece, your granddaughter or god daughter? My daughter is all that and more! I remember holding her in my arms the first time….hard to describe the feelings; it was more of a wonder that God had created such a perfect thing as this tiny baby in my arms! Everything about her was fascinating. How could He see to all the details that went into creating this small thing? I wondered!

It’s a new day, and there’s still an outrageous uproar of brokenness in every heart that knows the value of a misplaced or vanished female child! The smoke of deceit is still hanging in the air, stabbing pain cutting deep into the hearts of their loved ones, betrayed innocence of an abused culture! But by the time the sun sets in the evening, even the little village market in Chibok is still counting its loss from the day’s sales as opposed to relieving tensed emotions from finding their girls!

My conscience labels me as an envoy to the almost 300-school girls kidnapped in Nigeria. Why? Because it could have been me 25 years ago while I was attending an all-girls secondary boarding school, 1000 miles away from home! Or even anyone of us, who’s been to a boarding school, far away from home. But by God’s grace and faithfulness, we are here today, Untouched!

So, for everyone who has a daughter, a sister, a young female cousin, a young niece, a god-daughter, an adopted girl or even pregnant with a girl, right now! This very moment! What is your display of faithfulness? It could have been anyone of us, or anyone we know, but the scene is yet to unfold because we are not in the cast, so we sit afar like the spectator, while the world is a stage – but honestly we should be talking about it, raising hope and awareness, even educating people around us about our passion and determined to get attention for world peace.

Today, I am encouraging everyone to open their hearts and connect to a “missing girl cause” both known or un-known, show support and empathy with the family in distress by praying for them daily: for a break through. I carry within me the burden, grief, the pain and the torture that’s crowding those missing girls, because I am a mother of 2 young girls , I feel the joy and pain of child bearing and motherhood.

Even though I am thousands and thousands of miles away, I am humbly wearing their thoughts and holding their trembling hands close to my chest in prayer. God says faithfulness is proven by our others-directedness and by giving our help, by looking at others rather than concentrating on ourselves. God is going to judge our faithfulness through our relationship with other people, especially when they are in deep distress.

May God help us all
Yinka

Last Christmas, my kids and I saw the movie,”Frozen” which is now one of the coolest comedy-adventure ever to hit the big screen. When a prophecy traps a kingdom in eternal winter, Anna, a fearless optimist, teams up with extreme mountain man Kristoff and his sidekick reindeer Sven on an epic journey to find Anna’s sister Elsa, the Snow Queen, and put an end to her icy spell. To my greatest surprise and advantage, my toddler sat all through, captivated and thrilled – and now with such firmness sings and hums the theme song “Let It Go”. And it makes me wonder if she actually meant it like…”come out of the darkness Elsa, let it go, move forward, breath, live! Hmm!

So, we all have that ‘something that challenges us” also known as our Dark place or places. Having it doesn’t mean we are less qualified for eternal life, it only proves that we are human and still a resourceful client in God’s workshop. Our dark place could be our attitude, our posture, our sensibility, our defect, our instability, orientation, pain, anger and hunger.

It is that cloudy and unlit area of our lives that we usually cover up with pretense, ignorance or shame. We are the only freelance occupant.

Because it is the strongholds we are comfortable with. We then allow people around us to see only what we want them to see. We display only that part of us that wows the public, we give the best smiles, hit the highest pitch while singing in church, people see us and admire our strong will and wonders, but deep down when we get back to ourselves- alone, we clamor when we retreat to our dark place, beating up the thoughts of cold shoulders, the pain of rejection, hurt and waiting for a breakthrough, the unbearable loss of a dear one, the outbreak of sickness, the work load and expectation at work, the burden of the family, the un-expected trials of marriage, the pain of the thought of another miscarriage, a new dawn and still no cry of a baby, the loneliness of reaching out to find a partner, the heaviness and joy of childbearing and child rearing, the struggle with addiction and acceptance. But they are all challenges and it is just a process to wake us up and draw us out of that darkness. We must only make a tent in the dark place but never build a house there.

Through all that defining period of our darkness, God sees seeds in us, but he has to cut us deep (like carving a red delicious apple) to get to the seeds inside, because our future is in the seeds. God always reserve a place to plant his seed and it will only germinate in the dark place.

The dark place is that place that brings you to your knees, that transforms you, you surrender because of the pain of your dark place, the dark place is so painful it brings you to humility and totally connected to God.

Today, I am encouraging someone to allow God to “cut deep” into them like the red delicious apple- so that the seeds inside can be planted for His greater work. I am encouraging someone to freely sing ‘Let it go” like my Toddler, believing that once we let the darkness that’s been a stronghold and a forbidden tenant in our life be unleashed. We cannot develop well in the light, unless we are completely lifted from the dark place. In the dark place, tissues come together, bones begin to form, there’s a move, a kick, you cry in the dark place – so you can dance into victory in the light.

The dark place in our lives is not a destination, but a transformation.

May God help us all.
Yinka

“Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. Psalm 139:12

.

Our talent is a display of our: know-how, expertise, skill and capability. It is that knack we are all created with – despite the fact that it can sometimes take forever to be discovered! Unknowingly, we all have it, and it is that “wow factor” that makes us stand out and tall amongst the ordinary. While title is our man-made banner: The power appeaser attached to our original person, it is that poisonous push-on or in-expensive antidote needed to help booster our self-confidence! Well, once we have been labeled with one and uncertain on how to embrace such dignity-we become boastful!

One of my fondest memories from attending an all-girls secondary school was the constant parade and reminder from our house mistress then (an Indian lady). She has this peculiar way of always announcing her entrance into the dormitory. She will stroll in dramatically, all her 20plus shimmering bangles, glittering and hitting hard against each other, a make-shift for a bell; brilliant red sari wrapped around her, tucked nicely and gallantly while the edges; freely flowing alongside carelessly! ”Here I come! Engineer, Doctor, Mrs.…” She will mention all her titles and end it with “senior house mistress, doctor’s wife and mother of two, Oh goodness! No amount of greetings or side attraction could have distracted her morning ritual of reminding us of who she was. Hmm! It was a very comical and rather humorous scene for us students then, and we’ll hold our breath, avoiding open laughter and escaping her slaps! But years later, meeting up with couple of friends from high school – we were able to discuss/understand and feel her pressure in trying to stand out, be heard and be respected. She wasn’t boastful as we all thought she was. She just needed to be heard, honored and respected. And that was the only way she knew.

So, without even knowing it, we can parade ourselves as overly-desiring to be successful! How? Through our search for discovery; an unexpected elevated position in life; we begin to crave a kind of recognition and acceptance: We either parade our titles by bragging about it or showing off our talents by acting out, hereby making ourselves look boastful, arrogant and pompous. Or sometimes – we become over ambitious, imposing our ideas on other people, not willing to learn from others or to be corrected.

Being humble is one of the greatest virtues that God wants us to have. And being humble doesn’t only mean that we are more than willing to accept all His will and commands, but true humbleness can be measured on how we will obey those commands in our everyday interaction with people around us. It is the humbleness of little children that makes them the greatest according to Christ.

Children don’t have pride, they don’t know about it. They don’t care if honor are not given to them unlike us adults. In the eyes and heart of children, we can only see that everything for them is equal. There is no superiority in a child’s mind.

Today, I am hopeful and believing that someone has finally accepted to make a giant move on their aisle by discovering that great talent God has given them – to put aside pride and procrastination and use it wisely for God’s glory. That those who are exalting themselves up high will be humbled. Choosing the higher path means there is a tendency for us to fall and go down, but choosing the lower path means there is no place for us to fall and the only way to go is up – which is in heaven.

May God help us all!
Yinka

“The person who is greatest among you must be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted” – (Mat.23:11-12)

Ah finally! Welcome to my precious birth month of MAY. Chances are, you have pleasantly encountered with some of the most beautiful, highly motivated, strong personalities and dramatic people!

In preparation for my 15,330 days of birth and counting, I engaged myself in a deep conversation at lunch time with some colleagues, and was amazed to know that, some of them around that splendid age, had experienced some kind of “un-questionable act of in-balance” also known as midlife crisis, dilemma, pressure, crossroads or disaster.

Mid Life Crisis is: Un-expected Change or Fear of un-accomplishment. Mid-life Blessing is our breakthrough, our passion to excel, our hope to fulfill.
It is casually called the time in life when you do outrageous, impractical things like quit a job impulsively, buy a red sports car, or travel around the world. For years, midlife crisis conjured those images. But these days, the old midlife crisis is more likely to be called a midlife transition and it’s not all bad.

Now, it is like nursing a bruised knee with a wet feather – even though you know there’s no remedy in it to cure, you kind of enjoy the caress and smooth silky feeling – that’s how it feels when you approach another birth year you begin to reflect on the things of the past, your gainful records is spread right in front of you, while at the same time, your aspirations yet achieved is right there – starring right at you, and sometimes even mocking you! –

Ah! Our ego is altered, all because we feel it’s another year and we still haven’t reached that targeted goal that we would have loved to! So, when you approach a new birthday, do you feel overwhelmed that you still haven’t scored that goal?

Today, I am encouraging someone to graciously decline the appeal of “mid-life crisis’ and reflect on the great achievements they have made over the years, boost your self-worth by empowering and impacting people around you with a memorial. Build a legacy that defines your worth, even when you are long gone. Turn that “mid-life challenges into Mid-life blessings. Our past performance is only a tutorial ladder into our future of victory, disregard that age-number stamp, embrace change, live life to the fullest – we only get better with age. I am certainly much better with age.

May God help us all.
Yinka

Sometime ago while grocery shopping with my kids, I noticed each one of them had a “favorite food” aisle they were planning on visiting and didn’t have any problem tossing into my cart all the goodies “their food aisle” had to offer, of course, it wasn’t burdensome to them, because with their little minds – at the end of that aisle, there will be a cash register where mommy will eventually pay for all their goodies. Case closed!

The Aisle we all know is with the ceremonial procession of a bride, under the veil of glamour and grandeur. Sometimes, there is mixed emotion and contagious excitement. The feelings mutual, infectious yet uncertain, but with paraded faith and exposed passion.

On everyday terms, we encounter various degrees of AISLEs in our lives. It could be a passage way dividing or leading to something great in our lives. It could be a corridor of success, hallway of achievement or alley of opportunities. And other times it could be circles of outrageous storms, un-expected disappointments and un-bearable heartache.

We remain glued to the starting point. All because we never knew what’s ahead of us. Like a new bride walking down and hopeful. We see that bridge, link, overpass or platform ahead of us – and for some of us, it is a challenge to cross over successfully. But we must, we must finish the race.

Today, I am encouraging someone to take that big step towards their destiny. They say faith is taking that first step even without seeing the whole staircase. Your aisle is that passage you are still afraid to challenge. Take a giant step towards your aisle, develop CRAZE faith and merge forward on that bridge.

Stop lingering along your corridors and watch people pass by you, be like the children who goes grocery shopping having in mind that someone’s going to pay for their goodies. Believe that God is patiently waiting for you as you walk down your aisle, with confidence; He is even pulling you through.
A person’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand their own way?
Proverbs 20:24

May God help us all!
Yinka