A Display of Unsung Affection

AjokeDo you believe that some people are actually positioned into our lives for a certain season, to accomplish a given purpose?

They show up, help nurse our hurting wound, seal the broken patches and then challenge us to pay it forward during our lifetime.

And then One Day, they vanish into thin air!

Just like that!


While sorting through some old storage boxes in my garage, I came across an old photograph taken in 1995! It wasn’t the usual fancy studio-ready, happy-selfie type, but one filled with Kodak memories that brought tears of joy, fondness and pure love, for a group of selfless strangers I had once known, dearly.

It had the back drop of a tiled-well-washed hospital ward, with a giant inscription of GHI (General Hospital Ikeja), merry face of a smiling light skinned, British-accented female doctor with a dangling stethoscope around her neck, sprawled across a patients’ bed; it also had me, in a hospital gown smiling but with a confused look, not sure what to expect in this my new and strange abode!

There was Mercy my pretty Sapele-born teenage roommate/patient awaiting her ruptured appendix removal and Adejoke, my other roommate, who was also awaiting her 2nd knee surgery from an infected wound caused by a car accident on her school campus.

If pictures could capture the other hidden features around us, I bet you could smell the poignant and acidic aroma of antibiotics, Izal-washed floors and stale fruits…

One thing we all had in common: Fear of the known and the unknown! We all needed comfort from within to help ease our trembling minds or to erase the horrid stories of the mishaps of the theater room drama; and then, there was always the agitated head nurse grumbling about the traffic of my bedside visitors that’s exceeded the mandatory number allowed,  bringing gifts of homemade food, bedding fixtures and Lucozade drink!

This is no hotel or hostel! It is late, you need to go home” the head nurse would grumble and complain as my mother and then boyfriend-turned husband-now would linger at the reception area, hoping to spend more time with me.

doctorAnd then, there came Dr. Lovette! The female doctor in the picture, Yes! That was what she was fondly called.

She instantly became my adopted Sister! Never knew her from anywhere… but connected with her in such a way that…’count down to the dreary theater for my surgery became a breeze! Un-certainty, fear, worry and doubts were erased by her comforting words and her open conversation about my emotional wellbeing!

Catching up on latest gist became an evening routine and an escape out of the constant depressing memories of seeing other patients being wheeled out with a coded sign of final dismissal.

She erased all anxiety by creating a comforting space we all looked forward to. Her famous words…‘we are all here for a reason, each and everyone of us! resonated within me until I had my partial thyroidectomy and was discharged.

And that was it… ‘The last time I saw her… ‘a void and ache was created inside me, maybe for a good cause. Last I heard, she’d returned to the UK to take care of her own personal ailment…’something no one knew she was dealing with even as She was taking care of us!

Oh! Such selfless and painful dedication of uncelebrated affection! And we all know that ache that always leaves a void within us.

So, there are times when our own heavy heart-burdens cry so loudly that we struggle to hear the voice of others or to remember the unsearchable, inescapable presence of God; times when we think our prayers seem to go unanswered and our broken situations seemingly painful and unfixable.

Tell me, ‘Where is the time to care for others? ‘Don’t we already have enough on our own plate to deal with? Who’s going to do it? Hmmm.

I am sure at some points in your life’s journey you have been blessed with certain people and moments that have left indelible marks on the landscape of your heart and in some way challenged you to dig deep and continue to forge this chain of selfless love and care so that the cycle thrives.

Today, let’s ask ourselves, ‘what vision-goal have we thought about or written down, to do for Others Who Are In Need? What Care Network have we envisioned in our minds and planning to connect with? What Circle Of Kindness has been laid upon our hearts?

Can we make plans to elevate others so we can celebrate their victory, unconditionally? Have we set aside time to visit a nearby shelter, share lunch with that homeless guy we pass by every time, can we walk-into-an-hospice and volunteer or sign up to play the silly puppet-show at the children hospital and amuse kids awaiting or recovering from surgery, as it is? Not when fulfilling a duty of self-recognition or self righteousness?

Chances are you already know a family taking care of a needy child, who need your care? or a family handling a terminal diagnosis? who need your prayer! Perhaps it’s that hurting friend whose profile picture displays a seemingly happy-perfect-made up face but carries a hidden burden never addressed? Or…when was the last time you volunteered to take over the household chores of another family going through life? Just for an hour, while they get a chance to breathe?

When do we begin to put our real radical-impact hat on and stop playing eye-service religious-obligatory task, when do we stop paraphrasing ‘It is well’ and actually mean it by  Making it well’ just-by-doing-our-part?

When do we turn our phone’s selfie mode off and take real life pictures of others to be able to see the pain they are going through? or when do we disconnect from our social media world to spend real quality and uplifting one-on-one time with one another, over a soothing cup of organic roasted dandelion root herbal tea, a tantalizing fruit tart under the soothing and calming aromatherapy candle infused with essential oils? #TeaTartsandTranquility.teacup

While probably we have not been called to save an entire nation from destruction, God has certainly called us to be a care network He can use.

According to Missionary Amy Carmichael, “Often His call is to follow in paths we would not have chosen.”

Whether God is calling you to be a catalyst for saving someone from physical death or being an incentive for saving someone from spiritual and emotional separation, when we move forward in obedience, we are empowered, strengthened, bolstered and confident as we see Him accomplish great and mighty works through us.

Visit http://www.developmentalcarenetwork.com and connect with a care network team!

Yours in Hope as I share ‘One Day” by Matisyahu!





21 thoughts on “A Display of Unsung Affection

  1. My dear cousin!
    So proud of you and looking forward to seeing you and your team in Kent for a wonderful conference to help families and children with disabilities.
    Your support network really started way back while we were growing up on the Island, there’s always been something special about you!
    #I support Developmental Care Network in UK!!


  2. #TeaTartAndTraquility with Yinka!
    I came into this lovely huge house in Novi, Michigan, met ladies all of different races, and age group surrounding a tea station, candles burning lightly on each well set tables of porcelained designed teacups, all the varieties of tarts were available to go with the uncountable varieties of teas..
    And then…We finally get to meet you, Yinka! even as you took your place at the back observing or welcoming guests in, offering them therapeutic socks or giving their car keys to the men in waiting to park their cars, on that very cold and snowy day
    If for some reasons, I forgot to give you a hug that evening..
    I was either still in awe or so thankful that I was invited and now a part of your #Carenetwork.
    Awesome thoughts! Amazing mindset! Articulate deliveries!
    Can I feature your article in the Detroit News, and pray you would grant us your presence at the TV station soon.
    For all your works….10,000 thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for this article, thanks for the connection during your beautiful #TeaTartAndTraquility with Yinka you hosted in Michigan!

    What an amazing evening filled with much needed and quality time spent with seasoned and lovely group of women!

    For being the brain behind the carenetwork movement, I bless God for you and what He still has in store for you.

    We are so glad to be part of #Developmental Care Network and ready to go places with you in making a difference in the lives of others.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yinka…If only you know the power behind this gift of literary-display you have, I bet your 10th book should be surfacing the earth now, but you have so humbly and consistently catered for the simple medium..
    Every choice of words in this article should make a reader’ fidget about what’s within their reach in showing empathy for another and also the cost of caring and meaning it without any pay back expectation, but pay it forward approach.
    Thank you dear Yinka for shedding light on this.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. A beautiful piece! I had to read it 3 times and glow in the message behind the words.
    Please do and publish your book! Absolutely a great fan of yours, anyway Yinka!
    #I am in your Care Network

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Another deep piece from you. I’ve never been disappointed. I haven’t read your post in a while due to tight schedules….been to naija many times lately; saw mum too. She’s refusing to grow old. I’ve read this twice now; quite poignant and apt. Proud of you always.

    Liked by 1 person

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