Our happy place is not always related to our thoughts or a movement, neither is it fixated or based on the terms of endearment of a particular person or location.
Rather, it is how we envision happiness from within us; how we manage our emotion, and how we desire to be filled. It can also be any physical or mental space, situation, or activity that makes you feel relaxed, calm, content, or joyful.
To discover our happy place, we might want to reconsider a new definition of what happiness really means to us at different seasons of our life.
If you haven’t thought about it, or how to find your happy place, you should today!
Probably if you look up the meaning of happiness in the dictionary now, it will help in understanding two-simple things about seeking that inner happy place you never thought existed.
It is either: ‘What you’re seeking in comfort’ or ‘What you do for comfort’
My happy place is usually when I am having a full circle moment. (sense of dejavu)
So, during my growing up days on the Island, my happy place I thought then was usually in the company of my dogs; Trixie, Julie and Jolly (those very vigilant and over-protective mixed-breed dogs who literally would listen to all my youthful lamentation without talking back, but also obediently followed me around possessively keeping everyone away; to think of it now, anyone who grew up on the Island in the ‘70s and 80s knew about the vicious dogs on Oil Mill Street then.
I remember bumping into an old-neighbor I hadn’t seen in over 40 years while visiting Chicago, she remembered me clearly just by connecting her vivid memories to those dogs, “Aha, I remember You and those crazy dogs of yours, no one ever dared to come near your house because of them” she’d exclaimed in high pitch voice, but in pure joy.
The other happy place discovered in my teenage phase was hiding inside my late Dad’s home-office, which was attached to our house. It was my refuge of hope in times of despair.
There was always a sense of calmness, acceptance, safety and comfort there. Even as so little was said between us, we were usually very comfortable just basking in awe and existence of each other’s company, but individually drifted off to our two-separate worlds.
He’s busy drawing on maps and calculating numbers for surveyed land measured, while I am allowed to curl up in a corner, subconsciously allowing the sound from the noisy wall-mounted air conditioner to block out any distractive sounds from outside, as I travel faraway on a whimsical make-believe world of alluring romantic tales or fist clenching revolutionary stories, all buried deep inside books bigger than my head (hidden in between the textbooks.. were Pacesetters, Mills & Boon or a Leon Uris book). Am sure someone reading this can relate. Lol.
That was 35 years ago…
Today, as I celebrate my 52nd birthday, I have learned that mentally, my happy place has evolved over the years, I have learned that for anyone to experience a happy-place-moment, the body must be able to release at least one of the four ‘happy chemicals’ to feel happy; 1. dopamine, 2. endorphins, 3. serotonin, and 4. oxytocin, so technically, we all still need these hormones that are responsible for how we experience our happy place no matter our age or what life throws at us.
Also, life has also taught me that; to approach my happy place, I must intentionally replace any negative thoughts of “Why is this happening to me’ with “What is this trying to teach me” as a game changer to move forward.
Apparently, that’s where feelings of pleasure, joy, serenity, contentment, gratitude, overall life satisfaction, and fulfillment reside. Phew! it is indeed a process. But it is worth the journey; knowing your happy place is important to living a fruitful and fulfilling life.
What about you? what, who and where is your happy place?
Everyone has their own unique happy place. You can go to your happy place when the world feels a bit too chaotic. It is a central point where you can rest, recharge, and return stronger. It can also be a place to reflect before reacting, where you get to study the fine line for constructive expression and suppressing them to conform to societal norms.
To help you find your happy place intentionally, all you need is patience and practice to get there. Happiness is infectious, finding your happy place will also benefit everyone attached to you, and your surrounding community.
When we eventually decide to exit our happy place, our true emotional wisdom will involve honoring our feelings as they are, allowing us to deepen our empathy, creativity, genuine connections and become emotionally bold. To help ‘keep’ that happy place, probably it is time you let go of somethings crowding the space meant for your happiness. Learn to choose only people who are good for your mental health.
Letting go is hard. We feel bad when we lose something. It’s like when you have to pack and unpack your house and go through years of accumulated possessions, you would have experienced the dilemma of whether to keep something or to let it go.
More often than not, and especially if you are one who is sentimental, you might tend to hold on! This may explain why our shelves are filled with books we never read, or our cupboards are full of trinkets and ornaments gathering dust!
Isn’t it remarkable how quickly our lives can improve, how our happy places can be discovered when we remove toxic people, places and patterns from our lives? Yeah, because sometimes the desires we have are part of God’s guidance in our lives. Just as Frederick Buechner said ‘Vocation is the place where our deep gladness meets the world’s deep need.’
Go on, am cheering you on! Find and nurture your happy-place!
Yours in Hope, as I share my happy-place song with you.
Yinka.
When you are alone, in privacy, during the most intense period of your day, are you always calm? composed or just tolerant?
‘Hmmm, Aunty Virgie, ‘I told you she’s weird! I bet she talks to herself and her unseen pals, ‘We need to take her for charismatic deliverance! They would whisper among themselves as I sneak by and pretend not to understand their language and creep back into my room.
So, my oldest daughter just became a teenager, a dainty one and not as dramatic or crazy or a firecracker as I was at her age! #ThankGodForThat
Oh Yes!! There is a teenager in my house! and just like God longs for us to forever run into His arms, sharing every hurt and rejoicing in every victory, that’s exactly how every teenager yearns to wrap their emotional-arms around us, completing the peace we so desperately need!
Moving Forward With Yinka 