anthonialawrence

Presenting Total Woman Conference ‘FRAGRANCE 216’ – A peek into a new jar.

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 12 Comments

My late maternal grandfather, Pa Jacob was such a witty orator. His sense of humor and disposition about life was out of this world. He told us stories about marching tortoises going to war and parched water jars that needed their thirst quenched!alab 4

Every visit from his home-base in Delta state to see his children and grandchildren in Lagos was always a task and an adventure. ‘Oh, if He had his way, every one of his daily utensils will be packed into the car taking him out of town. When denied, he would give strict instructions to the house keepers in his village to daily refill the mortar jars and pots with fresh water from the stream! ‘oh-Grandpa!!! 🙂

As a child, I just never understood why such an old and outdated huge mortar jar served as a reservoir for my grandpa. Haven’t all his children (my uncles and aunts) done well enough for him by installing a running tap and functioning water tank for him? Why does this old man still trust in the fresh water from the stream and the excitement that comes from offering his guests water from his humongous-seen-better-days-almost-cracked-jar!

Come to think of it, the mouth of this jar is so small that on several occasions my cousins and I on some visits would mischievously challenge each other on whose tiny hands could fit into it, (of course, when not watched!). Lol.alab 5

That jar, situated at the corner of my late grandpa’s house in Ebu, Delta State (land of a homely and endearing tribe located in the Niger Delta region of Nigeria) lived long even after he passed on, until it was moved to the back of his house, now collecting dusts, housing insects and all the wonderful creeping and crawling creatures in the nearby bush. Gone, but ever existent in my memory, every time I think of an alabaster jar.

Interestingly, Alabaster jars are made of a beautiful white mineral, sealed in such a way that they could be opened only by breaking them. Once broken, the contents would have to be used immediately since there was no way to reseal the container.

It symbolizes our refuge.

In reflecting on the theme for the upcoming 2016 Total Woman Conference – “Fragrance 216” ( Fragrance two sixteen – adapted from 2Cor. 2 vs. 16). I was prompted to ask myself a pointed question: “Literally, what’s in MY alabaster jar? What’s the purpose of its contents? And what’s it worth?

I began to search my heart to see if there was anything hidden there that I wanted to treasure for myself. Would I be willing to pour it out and share with others so they could learn from its contents? I discovered two things in my “jar” that I was holding back, and also found that I struggled to relinquish these to God, even though I love Him dearly and want to pursue Him with all my heart.

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World’s Most Expensive Perfume: The No1 Passant Guardan is covered in 24 carat gold and encrusted in diamonds…

Each of us has an alabaster jar filled with costly fragrance. Sealed up with life’s mysteries (stories of betrayal, abuse, pain, agony, anger, depression, sickness, incompetence, broken heart, bitterness, loneliness and rejection) that inhibit us from revealing that sweetness we carry inside. We can only get to it by breaking the jar and we must be ready to allow a spirit of total abandonment and complete sacrifice.alab 3

What about you? What precious perfume is locked inside your heart that could be lavished on others? The little treasures you and I struggle to hold on to may hold back opportunities to bless those around us. Especially those in need of a new scent in life’s dents!

What’s in YOUR alabaster jar? And what do you intend to do with it?

So, allow me to introduce a-much-highly anticipated brand of this newly created divine incense-filled event! – TWC Fragrance 216! Indulge yourself in the benefits of this new fragrance-themed retreat! Don’t let it be buried with you. Break it open. Let the sweet smelling fragrance fill the void in your life and let it radiate and touch the lives of those around you.

The treasures that you and I struggle to hold onto, once released, can become a blessing not only to us but to all those around us. Let’s be aware that the treasure is not the jar itself, but what it holds. Let’s be confident in breaking that jar and allow the treasures of our life be poured out.alab 2

Be Indulgent. Be resourceful. Be sacrificial. Be blessed as you let go of what you think your life is and find out what life can really be when you finally decide to unleash your inner fragrance.

Don’t be left out! Sign up to be part of the new generation of women who have the power to re-direct the potency of their aura. Be part of the Fragrance 216 Woman! Join the Movement! …’To be continued!!

For more information about signing up for the upcoming women only yearly retreat/conference – “TWC Fragrance 216”. Please call 215-474-4301 Or visit: http://www.totalwomanmovement.org

SAVE THE DATES:
2 nights, 3 days Retreat @ ACE Conference Center, Lafayette Hills PA.
April (Thursday) 21st, April (Friday) 22nd and (Saturday) 23rd 2016.

Yours in HOPE.
Yinka.
TWC Fragrance 216 Team Member.

***coming soon – Sweet Aroma Out of Brokenness – TWC Fragrance 216

 

 

 

Echoes of 2015: “Keep On Moving, Don’t Stop”

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 7 Comments

In one word, how would you describe your encounter with the year 2015?

Beyond any doubt, this is certainly my year of “Go, Get it done now”.  Even as am writing this, my head is thrown back in an exaggerated falling motion, hands and eye lashes flapping joyously with a deep amorous laughter (like an excited toddler) While at the back of my head, I envisioned my favorite Trinidadian musician (Mighty Sparrow) playing my favorite soca version of ‘Dancing Queen” as I grooved to the rhythm and yell out…Yes!!

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American Cancer Society – Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk  Team: Greater Than Cancer. OCTOBER 2015

Are you wondering “what planet is she on exactly, with all these gestures of excitement? Eh, common, ‘it’s not even close to what you’re thinking, honestly… (Lol) “so-get-your-crummy-mind-out-of-the refrigerator and listen to what I’ve got to say! (smiles).

Wow! My heart is completely paraded with these un-explainable kind of feeling you get when you just finished scooping up your last spoon of ice cream, its still melting on your tongue, but because you just don’t want to quickly loose that sugar rush sensation, you drag the dissolving process. You smile as you close your eyes, allowing the powerful luscious sensation to play hide and seek in your mouth. Hmmm.

You mutter to yourself, ‘Wholly Guacamole!! ‘This is s-w-e-e-t! You are licking the escaped creamy patch with your tongue and just hoping everyday would be an-ice-cream day, Yeah, it feels good right? Exactly! That’s the cloud I am on.

So, I bet everyone DID something spectacular and different this 2015? Something crazy but excitingly abstract? Something out of the norm, yet breathtakingly unique? Something unusual but rewarding? Believe me, every one of us DID something peculiar compared to 2014. Whether Commendable, Confusing or Complicated. Something did happened that has shifted our mindset! It’s called the Go, Get it done dictum!

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RCCG LSMC Total Woman Conference – April 2015

For me, I couldn’t have ended 2015 well without thanking God for all the beautiful spaces and platform of opportunities that were created for me! From the initiation and launching of the NGOs to the acceptance into doctoral school!

The powerful ministration at the Total Woman Conference, my wonderful superb sisters-united power team! The eye opener at the much awaited residency program in AZ! The long summer nights at the beach with family! The crab feast at the Inner harbor, the once in a lifetime impact and blessings received from Kenya during the QEG Summit!

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Queen Esther Generation Summit in Kenya. JUNE- JULY 2015

The joy of embracing new dreams and walking away from past distractions, standing tall to establish self in career! The “shut-the-front-door” kind of feelings you get when you decide to stand tall, no matter what! The mind-blowing and oh-so-humble experience of connecting with relevant links  in Nigeria, the magnitude of the support system.

OMG! My beautiful team members in Lagos still expanding, making headlines and treading on a just cause for humanity! PRICELESS.  Oh! What a night! @ Etim Inyang Crescent, V/Island with WAZOBIA Naija FM Spectacular midnight host of Love Clinic, Kbabalovedoctor. Awesome!

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WAZOBIA FM Lagos, Love Clinic Host, KBABALOVEDOCTOR. OCT 2015

 

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“My Life after Cancer” Interview with 60 Minutes TV, Lagos. Oct 2015.

Aha! The courageous families in whose

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Autism Awareness In Nigeria – Interview with TREK MAG. in Lagos. Sept 2015

presence, participation and position completed my GO GET IT DONE project in Nigeria. My first humanitarian award team, Thank you! For every support system unintentionally not mentioned. Thank you.Literally, this is for everyone who’s touched my heart in 2015, either paraded it, nursed it, comforted it, cared for it, scribbled on it or skipped it or even attempted to torture it! Thank you.

 

My Greater Than Cancer team in the US! Thank you for your support and your genuine love, for dragging yourselves out to walk with me that very cold Saturday morning in Oct! You guys rock and made a survivor feel so special to be alive. Love you all for real!

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Team: Greater Than Cancer, USA

I am grateful for new friendships defined, old ones restored and damaging ones put aside for remission. For all the projects left hanging but never forgotten, the best is yet to come.

Finally, let’s search our conscience in the remaining hours, ‘what walk awayhas 2015 done for you, lately? What is that beautiful memory you want to frame and adorn with praises? Or what’s that situation that looks like progress in the making but really behind closed doors, brings you to tears? What’s that addiction or craving you are still abhorring? What’s that one word you’ve been dreading to say? ‘Afraid of going into 2016? What’s that one brutal feeling of rejection, emptiness, hopelessness and depression you’d rather bury with 2015? Marital issues? Complicated relationships? Estranged Family members? Mr. Right still hiding? Health problems? Kids acting up? Conception not cooperating? Loved ones departure? ‘Got baggage? Got issues? ‘Got trust problem? ‘Got heart break? ‘Got love to give? Aha! ‘Got Christ? You do? ‘Then you already ‘Got this! 🙂

This is the best time to get up and get it done. Whatever it is that’s holding you back from your aspiration, ‘deal with it now. This is not even about making resolutions. This is more of a period of revelation.

I am hoping someone reading this will tap into that realm too. Set up inward realistic goals, and let your passion for success be your drive for the New Year. ‘Cos, that’s what am doing. Thank y’all for a rewarding 2015!  See you in a ‘Doing IT RIGHT 2016! by God’s grace.

Yours in HOPE as I share “Keep On Moving” by Soul II Soul.

Yinka.

Comparison – by Kehinde Oguntunde

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 2 Comments

As I went about doing my kitchen chores, I couldn’t help listening to my children’s conversation.comp

“You do not color outside the line”, said the big sister to the little one.

“I know, but it’s my homework, not yours”, she responded.

“Mummy never likes it when we color outside the line, that’s why she likes my painting better”, big sister replied.

At that instant, I knew I had to interrupt their conversation before it escalated into something else. Truth be told, I have always loved neat and beautiful paintings (I was an excellent art student back in high school) and I (unconsciously/consciously) made my older daughter tow my footsteps.

The younger sister on the other hand, detests anything that deals with coloring. In a nutshell, I find myself comparing my kids with each other or perhaps comparing them with me. I’m sure most of us can relate to this.

But the truth is: COMPARISONS ARE DETESTABLE.

If you want to be a miserable mortal, then compare. You compare when you place someone beside someone else for the purpose of emphasizing the differences or showing the likenesses. This applies to places and things as well as people.comp 4

We can become so proficient at this activity that we sustain our addiction through an unconscious force of habit. Inadvertently, the wheels of our thinking slide over into the ruts of this detestable mindset. Comparison appears in at least two forms.

First: We compare ourselves with others. You can imagine the results already. It is either you are prompted to feel smug and proud because your strengths outweigh others weaknesses . . . or, more often, you begin to feel threatened, and inferior because you fail to measure up. Striving to emulate a self-imposed standard, you begin to slide from the pleasant level of achievement of the real you to the sinking sands of I don’t know who. This sometimes leads to extreme role-playing where you try every way to adapt and alter your portrait to fit into someone else’s frame.

In simpler terms, you’ve given away your real personality for a phony disguise. That’s detestable! Paul wrote about similar sentiments to a church that had become known for its comparison cliques:

“We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise”. (2 Cor. 10:12 NIV). The very next verse tells us, “Our goal is to measure up to God’s plan for us”. Not for someone else, but for you, personally. God’s great desire for us is that we fulfill His plan for us in our own lives. In His way—His timing.comp 3

Second: We compare others with others. This is worse than unfair; it’s senseless and often, cruel. Children suffer most from well-meaning adults who show off one child’s talents in front of another child in some misbegotten effort at motivation. This relates to the illustration above with my kids. That sort of comparison is toxic. It poisons a child’s self-image and smothers the very motivation the parent was seeking to arouse.

But children aren’t the only victims. We find ourselves comparing preachers and teachers; church philosophies and orders of service; soloists and song leaders; personalities and prayers; wives and mothers; families and friends; homes and cars; salaries and jobs; husbands and fathers; luxuries and limitations; pain and pleasure.

That’s detestable! Why not accept people and places and things exactly as they are? Isn’t that true maturity? Why not accept and adjust to differences as quickly and enthusiastically as God forgives our wrongs and stands behind our efforts to try, and try again? When love flows, acceptance grows.

Written by: Kehinde Oguntunde for #Moving Forward With Yinka

**About the writer**

Kehinde works as a Data Integrity Specialist. She is happily married to Sola. They both reside in Philadelphia and are blessed with 2 beautiful girls and an adorable boy! She enjoys working with children, reading, writing and of course singing with her husband.

 

The Battlefield: by Wadza Mhute

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 1 Comment

battlefield

In the past few weeks’ protests ignited on college campuses across the country.

The impetus for the University of Missouri protest was the Black Lives Movement that started from the death of Michael Brown last year at the hand of a policeman.

Students at the university under the banner of Concerned Student 1950 (referring to the year the first black students were admitted into the school) wanted the removal of the university president. After incidents of racism and antisemitism were not taken seriously by the president, protests culminated in his resignation. Subsequently protests at Yale and Ithaca College started because of similar incidents on their campuses.

It seems the country has been re-ignited with the fires of revolution that swept through the country in the 1950s and 1960s. This thing we call “skin color melanin” really has caused division and will continue to divide.

What are we to do in these times? It is important to know that there is nothing new under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 1: 9-10 What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.

Is there anything of which one can say, “Look! This is something new”? It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time.

The only thing constant is God. We have to understand and believe that, If we protested every slight issue whether based on racism, on class divisions, on xenophobia – where does it end? As long as there is evil in this world, those issues will exist. I am not saying we need to remain silent when provoked but we should not put all our hope, all our faith in an unjust earthly system. Change came in the 1960s and again in 2008 with the inauguration of the first black President.

The revolution indeed caused change.

Perspective is needed. If you look at the revolutions against slavery which led to the Emancipation Proclamation in the 1863 and the civil rights movement lead by Martin Luther King, there was a common thread – Christianity. Let us even go back to the slavery of the Israelites in Egypt. God heard their cries just as he will hear the cries of the protesters in 2015 but the key is to cry to God above and not man below. While boots are crisscrossing campuses, let knees also stain the ground as prayers simultaneously go up to the one who can bring freedom to all.

Isaiah 49: 24-25  ‘Can plunder be taken from warriors, or captives be rescued from the fierce? But this is what the Lord says: “Yes, captives will be taken from warriors, And plunder retrieved from the fierce; I will contend with those who contend with you, And your children I will save.

We need to see ourselves as God sees us, we need to love as God loves and we need to put our faith in God.

God sees all.

Written by Wadza Mhute for #Moving forward with Yinka.

Turning the waiting Game into a favored Date!

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 27 Comments

(Open letter of encouragement to my single and searching friends)

Erika absent-mindedly toyed and twirled with the tip of her champagne glass. Loosing count already of the numbers of weddings she’s had to dance in as the maid of honor! Or wake the bride up at 7am for facial or call up the video crew to come up for recording as the lucky bride, her childhood friend excitedly slip on her silver Manolo Blahnik pumps. Oh no! I can’t be jealous! She muttered under her breath as beads of perspiration and anxiety begins to swell up on her foreheadMAID OF HONOR.

Uncountable evil thoughts and imaginary demons of her past began to creep up the back of her neck, “Why not me? She’s quickly taken back by the deep Barry White-like voice of the bride’s younger brother; as he bumps into her, asking her for a dance.

‘Good-gracious-Lawd! ‘Why is he so cute but painfully too young for me? He’s 6 years younger! Maybe I shouldn’t care about the age thing? Or is that not robbing the cradle! What will people say? Geez! Do I sound desperate! Yeah, maybe I should, am in my late 30s and un-married! And drooling over a kindergartener! On and on, these thoughts kept strolling in and out of her head, until it was her turn to give the toast, she walked up to the center of the room, clutching her champagne glass like her life depended on it, tears falling freely drenching her perfectly made-up face, she opened her mouth, stammered and then it all happened…

Today…‘Can-we-talk-about-men? Maybe not about how adorable Spain’s Rafael Nadal looked at the last US Open, or about the outrageously offensive comment from Donald Trump’s anti-immigrant, anti-Latino, anti-woman lead. Or even that personal crush “yours truly” has on Bruno Mars! (Smiles).single 1

Let’s ignore the tabloids today and do real talk! and really If we are all being honest with ourselves, and I assure you, today I’m all about straight talk – which means that I have to confess that our mindset is one of the biggest obstacles to living as an uncluttered woman when it comes to dealing with the issues of men.

Even as I am still married 18 years and counting to the same guy I found with two left feet on the dance floor at Club Towers about 22 years ago! I must admit that every aspect of our relationship only gets better with age, tolerance and understanding (even sex). I know that I should depend solely on God for direction and strength, and I am thriving! Most of us would admit that this is the case. Whether we are married or single! We are all in the same boat, only difference is our sense of resistance.

Is it not hard enough that we have to sift through all that is thrown at us each day? We begin a flourishing relationship, we nurture it with all we have and pray it flourishes well enough for a blossoming ever after effect, but then disarray happens and it challenges all of us. I’m in the foxhole with you and readily admit that navigating this crazy world of handling loverelationship is complicated.

There are so many things that compete for our attention and clutter our decision-making: our faith, emotions, materialism, negative thinking, busy schedules, doubts, laziness, self-reliance, self-esteem, family baggage, our past pains and failures, expectations, technology, work, our need to control things, our need to be accepted, finances, debt, stress, addictions, discontentment and then… relationships. Argh! And I’m just getting started! This list could go on forever. Anyone feeling me?

Does fear of the unknown keep us from taking a big leap of fate in choosing a partner? ‘are you still single and confused about your choice based on what the world projects HIM to be? Torn between giving a chance to someone you ‘kind of’ like but doesn’t have that ‘it’ factor you have always dreamt of!- If only! The lips were fuller! The skin was darker! The height was intact! If only he has 6 packs like Nadal! If only he could sing and be so romantic like Adam Levine! And the “if only” list goes on and on because we have so programmed our brain to only embrace that which is only portrayed in our fairy tale-mindset. Not until our biological clock begins to tick faster, attracts family concerns and un-solicited friendly advice. When will it be? With who? Phew!cook 1

Here’s the deal. We all have an idea of what we want in someone, especially when dating that we imagine will become a life time commitment, we still need to be careful what we wish for!  A lot of courtship now are more interested in acquiring the “Trophy image”. Isn’t that an exposure of the self-esteem issue? Picking and dictating and getting fanned in our ego? Maybe it’s a blessing you are taking your time rather than rushing into marriage because of desperate measures? To please who? Friends? The society? Family? Or break an ancestral curse of bondage? Shouldn’t the decision of a life time commitment between a couple be consecrated unto God only? And no other external factors?

Is there really a manual or instruction kept somewhere for finding the perfect guy? Is Mr. Right sold on store shelves on demand at a high cost, with no bargaining options? What’s going on ladies? What’s with the fuss? You abandoned the one that shows affection all because he doesn’t really fit into your to-get manual? You chase after the one that thinks about you only in mode-nudity? Would you rather rush in and marry the one you first fall in love with? Whose heart probably is still hooked onto a bunch of broken-hearted ladies, who’d probably cursed out his destiny for abandoning them like a bad habit?dont rush

Maybe all we really need to do is sincerely and genuinely love ourselves first! Our inner joy radiates and attracts people to us, even if we are dressed in our best outfit! More so, there is a sense of calmness and peace when we are at our best (genuine and sincere) as opposed to be being two-faced and pretentious all because we are seeking a partner. Won’t that veil eventually come off after a while? Especially when finally you become one?bsb pix

I am writing this to encourage and uplift someone who’s been on that “waiting list”. Someone who’s loved someone so deep it hurts that you are no more together or you were betrayed and abandoned. I am writing this to encourage someone who’s torn between deciding what to do next as that biological clock ticks away, I am encouraging someone single and searching to live life lovely…again! Do you! Love you! Discover you! Create fun for yourself! Join a local Zumba class and sweat out your girlish giggles at those sensual dance moves, travel more, attend seminars that enlightens, sign up for exotic cooking classes, volunteer at homeless shelters or join a book club. Get it together! Rather than sit on your couch, text your fans or post your latest heartbreak story on Facebook. Love yourself first.

Allow prince charming to discover you at your best leisure self-mode! It is okay to be agitated at the biological clock, it’s just doing its duty. You just need to prove it wrong that love comes better in your own time, God’s time! Sometimes when a dream is dead, it just needs to be prompted. Discover your true joy, bury yourself in it, and let the right guy come dig you out! Here’s how you can start, out of faith, write an imaginary letter to your “future husband” and paste on your refrigerator – trust me. It’s a positive reinforcement!

“Dear Future Husband, You are still in my prayers. When you are ready, according to God’s will, kindly press the bell once. I am not impatient or mad at you, for taking so long! I’m not afraid of commitment. I am also taking my time, learning new things and discovering myself. My inner beauty radiates daily with new strength from God. Meekly Yours, Your Future Wife”.

Yours in HOPE as I share Meghan Trainor’s Dear Future Husband.

Yinka.

 

Branding our optimism: Standing up straight and tall. PART ONE.

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 21 Comments

When I was a teenager, my mother used to threaten me whenever I hunched over at the dining table. “If you don’t sit up and finish up your food,’ she’d say, ‘I’m going to have to buy you a therapeutic back brace from Bola Chemist.” Honestly, I don’t even know if Bola Chemist make or sell back braces back then, but it sounded like a pretty good threat to me. Just the thought of passing through St Nicholas hospital or General Hospital all next door to Bola Chemist gave me nightmares! So I decided to cultivate a habit of always sitting up straight even when my mother’s prying eyes are not following me. And it worked out well, even until now as I’ve had to deal with some of life’s deep slumping experiences. And still ongoing.lag 3

So, I recently just returned from one of the greatest and fulfilling trips of my life! I was very blessed for encountering such beautiful and dedicated people back in Nigeria who deeply shared my passion for creating and making success stories happen. Not because the society requests it for status quo or cheap publicity, but because their love for humanity and community service is genuine.

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Talking about CANCER AWARENESS.

I’d learnt that carrying a banner to display a passion is not the same as connecting one-on-one with real life people, dealing with real life issues. Sometimes, creating a platform of awareness for our passion or a desired cause goes beyond media or social network. Connecting with the soul-carrier is deeper.

For the great opportunity given to me by Samson @TREK magazine who met with me at my parent’s house on the Island for the one-on-one interview on AUTISM AWARENESS IN NIGERIA and my proposal on establishing a support group/Autism school in Lagos. I am very grateful! For connecting me with various NGOs and Healthcare Administrators in Lagos. Thank you.

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ON AIR with KBABALOVEDOCTOR of WAZOBIA 95.1 FM, Lagos.

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With K Baba, Host of WAZOBIA FM’S “Love Clinic”

My midnight ON AIR radio show host connector! Ogunleke Kayode Clement aka. KBABA THE LOVE DOCTOR of  WAZOBIA 95.1 FM on Etim Inyang Street, V/Island. DR. Love! I hail! I salute! I am so thrilled and still excited about our ON AIR show. Thanks for giving me the platform to discuss more on #Moving Forward With Yinka! For giving me the opportunity to be your special guest on ‘Love Issues – relationships and marriage segments. Thanks for allowing me to be part of the panel for taking on calls from concerned and confused callers who needed help pertaining their love lives! Thanks for embracing my optimism on CANCER AWARENESS in Nigeria and allowing me to talk ON AIR to numerous wa 6listeners all over the world about my own personal journey as a 5year-cancer survivor. Oops! (Thanks for bringing out the best Pidgin English in me! Lol). You are truly appreciated. God bless you plenty my broda! – “As u don do for me dis good so! Na only better go dey come ya way o! (Lol).

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Autism Awareness Interview with Olori 60 Minutes TV in Lagos.

Special thanks to my team at 60 Minutes TV, Lagos! Olori 60 minutes! My PA and favorite niece! My personal graphics and studio manager, LeeGrapher! And everyone at 60 minutes TV. For the interview on Autism Awareness and support group in Nigeria, for connecting me with all the different families dealing with the challenges that come with caring for a special needs child in Nigeria. For every family who showed up and have embracedlag 4 the need for Autism awareness, and were more interested in finding a common ground for intervention! Because of you all, my journey to Lagos was successful! I pray that God continues to strengthen you all, emotionally and physically.

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FGGC Sagamu class of 1990 reunion @ Lekki.

A girly-shout out to my Almer Mater, Federal Government Girls College Sagamu class of ’90, for organizing a reunion luncheon at Lekki on OCT 1st! Love you all great shagamites! So good to see/hear from you all. Special thanks to Oby Ejekam-Ekekwe for creating what’s App Class of 1990 “P” Girls chat room! Babes, even after 25 years! You all still look smashing in your 40s! God’s hands’ is surely on us.

So, if you are reading this, ask yourself, what does it take to stand up straight and tall in your life? What is it that hinders my growth? Am I failing to thrive? Do I know my purpose for life? How can I package my idealism or confidence? Talk to me! Hmmm…

To be continued next week…

Yours in HOPE

Yinka.

Awakening the stolen dream.

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 7 Comments

 Do you remember how fulfilled and excited you felt the last time you worked very hard on a given project? The success story and fantastic feedback has your talented fingerprints scribbled all over! People are amazed and surprised at the wonders of this enigma. Wow!  Nice Job!  Who did this?  How?girl 2

Oh! look at you! grinning with smiles of accomplishment.

But not for long. So you decided to brand your creativity, by stamping your image to it, the same astonished world starts to stammer and stutter, there’s fidgeting and uneasiness. Everything begins to go wrong from nowhere. Suddenly, your title shifts to “weird” or “proud” or “non-efficient or not-so-good”.

As criticism sets in, self-awareness seeks comfort in pity-party. Why? ‘Is it because it’s your swag? But, that’s what makes you stand out in the crowd of plenty! Your own God-given capability. It cannot be stolen, knocked down or reproduced. Its your WOW factor!

While some label it Destiny, others says it’s a blessing to be destined for greatness without being tortured by negative people. And because the world cannot handle your achievement, you begin to wonder-out-loud…”Where-did-I-go-wrong? Hmm.

You peep through the portals of your heart and discover that traces of pretentious doubt and cowardly low self-esteem were actually planning on visiting you soon! So you sit alone in the dark cold room and ask yourself, is it your fault? ‘that God has so blessed you with such gifting that others can’t contain the volume? Should I fall through the cracks based on a critical point of view? Or should I just keep heading towards my goal in life, pushing aside any storm? What to do?

When I was a little girl, one of my favorite things to do was to climb up to the top of the playground swing bar and spin around and around until I was silly-dizzy, and then fall to the ground with a giggly heart. It was thrilling, childish and fun.

And so, my idea of primary school breaks became swinging and hanging on to the bar of the swing set at the school playground with my adorable childhood best-friend, Virginia Wilcox (now Mrs. LeBouf) She was my main dream maker, cheerleader and also my competitor. We will do cart wheels on the hard terrazzo floors! Twirl around and somersault on the cobalt blue wall to wall carpeted auditorium during Mrs. Benson’s music class, as the other students hiss, applaud or watch in dis-belief!girl 1

What a joke! Such silly boyish girls!

With our tightly knotted woolen emerald green dangling ribbons, we didn’t care if our short green school uniform would become dusty or torn from the constant mounting of the swing bars; we didn’t care if the boys were actually peeping to see our oversized mommy-made PE (physical education) shorts.

We just loved to express our athletic talent, especially as the other prim and proper girls, with perfectly pressed silky hair pulled back in assorted rayon ribbon pass by with looks of disdain and disgust! Rolling their eyes in unison.

Virginia and I. Two best friends with so much in common, two tiny mischievous  primary school girls, one in scattered box braids and the other threaded hair, nicely packed up with that very annoying silky black thread! But, we couldn’t have cared less, we weren’t bothered that we were not playing “Miss Mary-Mark” or ‘Mother May I” In our own way or world, we were just genuinely happy and content with ourselves. We were pace-setters, trend-setters and annoyingly so darn confident in our tiny selves!

Eventually we both attended the same secondary school and then same University, and after graduation, we both drifted away apart slowly and totally surrendered to life’s new extension of a real world roller coaster. A much serious one to swing on! But we never gave up on our quest to be all we can.

Today, ask yourself; How do I fight back?  whether you are criticized poorly or ignored intentionally because of that powerful element in you. Believe me, life will surely throw one or two storms of self-doubt  and distraction your way once you begin to rise. The plan is to make you feel less worthy or discouraged about your vision. Don’t fall for it!what they say

Whether you have been hurt, jilted, abandoned, used or called weird names even after you have so proved your self-worth with true sincerity; Be Encouraged! it is just a mere distraction building you up for tomorrow. It is time to wake up from that deep slumber and face the dream breakers or dream killers in your life with one thing; Fight them back with that same creative zeal or crazy passion and be hungry for more success! No matter what people think about your value, You need to know your own worth first! and be grateful to God for choosing you above all others, but don’t be patronized.

Yours in HOPE as I share Rachel Platten’s ‘Fight Song’.

Yinka.

Discovering our charm in Christmas. ’Do not miss the Beauty!

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nat king cole If there’s anything I’d always look forward to while growing up, it was the beauty and the manner of preparation devoted into the planning of Christmas festivity. It was a Gansallo–family tradition.

This was the season of open-invitation for all friends and family, to casually drop by and join the feast. No invitation needed. It wasn’t about the presents (as we fondly call it), the hectic weeks ahead of shopping with my mom (reluctantly at Balogun market as she exercises her bargaining power!) or the much expected visit to Kingsway Supermarket to see “Father Christmas” (which my 8-year old son thinks is a weird title for Santa) on that very short train ride inside the departmental store, or the exaggerated leap of joy upon receiving the same boring plastic doll from Father Christmas, again!!

It wasn’t about the new emerald-green A-line cut dress, ironed and trimmed with pretty red ribbon and matching church hats, new underwear (finally from Marks & Spencer!!), colored knee-high socks and shinning patent shoe! It wasn’t about the clattering of glass cups, and oriental dishes that’s now causally making their way to the formal dining room.

The beauty of Christmas then was about sitting in my dad’s office (attached to the main house) smiling and grinning ears to ears as he brings out his favorite vintage cartridges collection and starts playing Nat King Cole’s Christmas music! The beauty of Christmas then was my mom dragging out the now dusty and stored away boxes containing the collapsed 6 feet tall Christmas tree, ornaments and flashy foiled lined trimmings, shimmering and dazzling in gold, green and red! With Nat King Cole blasting away “O Holy night…’and my dad humming to it…and as the lights are turned on, the blinking effects was an official announcement that. Yes! Its Christmas again, I get so excited and become animated as I pick up the phone to announce to my friends or boast away about the beauty of the star on our tree top… the beauty was that star! And my greatest achievement was helping my mom setting up the tree…

Well, not until a close friend invited me over to her house in Ikeja to marvel at the Christmas décor professionally done in their huge compound! It was great! But got fired up when it rained and became hazardous. But my joy was still in the beauty of the star on my tree top at home! That gave me comfort and re-assurance that I helped in re-creating the birth of Jesus.

Today, as I am blessed to have my own children who also relish their delight in the beauty of Christmas, and as I am still chasing after my 3-year old who consistently would stand in front of my tree and pull off the ornaments! I have made it a tradition to tell them the stories and the impact of the star, which even before I get a chance to finish…they’ll end it with…’seriously Mom…not again! That was donkey years ago…Hmmm.

I hope I can bring out the essence behind it so they don’t miss the beauty of christmas as they wait on Santa!

So, as we head into this busy holiday season and dance between the days of Christmas and New Year, as we decorate the doors and the hearths of our homes and communities, let’s be intentional to decorate the doors and the hearths of our hearts with ribbons of God’s grace.

Even as we face the stresses of our lists, and our tasks, and our activities, and our heart burdens, let’s commit to remembering that the best present is His presence. He’s our Hope, our Peace, our Joy… our Beauty. Let’s live with eyes lifted to the Gift of gifts, Jesus Christ. May we not miss the beauty.

Yours in hope, as I share one of my favorite Nat King Cole’s Christmas song…

Yinka.

 

 

 

Friday Night Conversation With Yinka – collection of short stories: (Terms of Endearment Part Four)

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Continued from Part Three, published on: Oct 25th 2014

 

termsPart 4.

But for the so-called village counselors or small chiefs who usually comes around, using their walking sticks to trot like they are next in line for a coronation! Proudly telling anyone who care to listen about the lands and farms they own and how they have managed to raise the foundation or have plastered the walls of an un-completed boy’s quarter. The self-acclaimed landlords who by the way, still cannot afford to buy his newspaper!

“Eeeoo! What a pity!” “Hmmm, he’s dead too? One of them would start, and the others will carry through with their usual pity party monologue – all still holding on to the newspaper, the obituary column-page spread wide open in front of them as one of them quickly writes down the address of the burial ceremony’s evening gathering. Pa Sammy calls them the “The Obituary crashers” and would quickly advance forward, snatch the newspaper from them and ask for payment first or just place the paper down and ignore their questioning looks.

He’d learn the hard way. When he first started the newspaper vendor business, he’d been so loyal to a point, allowing passer-by to engage him in distracted conversation while they quickly glance at the news headlines – without making them pay for the whole newspaper. Getting home, he’d informed his wife, Mama Ovie that sales was slow, she’d cursed him out for being a bad trader, regarded him hopeless and had compared him to all the other successful men doing well in their village. After all, he should have been a good school teacher, articulately adorned in khaki shorts, white starched shirt and a cane! not a vendor! Useless paper man!, she would say and begin to cower as she sulks. A usual trait of hers.

Pa Sammy’s mind was set today. He needed to resolve the issue of cooperative trade he had started with his partner. He had been saving up for a while and had almost gone into shock when he realized that his only son Osa had been taking money from the brown envelope he had kept secretly inside the empty tin of bournvita,  hidden inside Mama Ovie’s old wedding dress and accessories box – a place he figured no one will ever visit, after all, what will she be looking for in her forgotten portmanteau of over 20 years! Filled with about 2 dozens of camphor! He felt it was a safe place to hide his money. He was mistaken and broken-hearted.

But last night, the embarrassment he’d witnessed was too much for him. Disturbed and confused, Nengi, their landlord’s daughter had quickly rushed in to call for help as Osa was involved in another gang fight by the second gate entrance of the College of Education. He was under arrest again, the 9th time this year!

What was Osa doing there? Wasn’t he supposed to be out-of-town? In the seminary? Father Peter from their church had assured him that since Osa had no intention of pursing his education, it will benefit him to sign up for servitude at the seminary in Eleme junction, miles away from the city. Hopefully taking him away from distraction could help him settle down and focus on God. Pa Sammy was elated at the news of Osa in the seminary. Osa had caused him so much heart ache and disgrace. All he needed now was for him to leave and go somewhere for a while, well to a place where He could discover God and change his ways.

But the seminary could not hold Osa down either.

Just last month the corporative fee, He’d taken some loan to start another lucrative small business of paying his landlord’s son, Soki to help him in buying a bale of overseas used clothing. According to most of his newspaper customers and the stories from around the motor park, that was the best business to invest in now, especially around on campus.

They say campus students always have lots of pocket-money on them. They want to keep up with fashion and new trends and would spend their last money on a pair of new stoned washed jeans or a t-shirt that reads I LOVE NY! – Rather than buy a newspaper that tells of the horror happening within their country. His mind was made up and he was going to surprise his wife and also convince her that he’s getting prosperous in his choice of business. And she would be so impressed, will begin to dance, Oh! The native dance would melt his heart.

Mama Ovie is a very good dancer when she’s happy, and then she would rock his bald head in the cradle of her soft palm and sing some sweet songs of praises in their native dialect and then cook him his favorite dish. Yam pepper soup on the side and then later, bitter leaf soup with giant green periwinkle over steaming starch. And they will eat together from one bowl, feeding each other, laughing together and for one moment, forget about the troubles of Osa, and maybe even forget about Ovie and her so-many dramatic tale-telling and fake life…ah!

Where and how these students get their money from, is still a mystery to him. ‘Pa Sammy’, eh, listen very well…eh, you don’t need to bother yourself o, eh, on how they get the money, you just sell to them, and always say its first grade” Soki had coached him the first time he received his goods. “In fact, eh, you can even say, eh, your brother in overseas is the supplier, ok ” He’d ended that line with a very disturbing laughter that confused Pa Sammy.

Was he making the right decision? Should he use the money to bail Osa? Should he use the money for investment, in his new business? Or should he just catch the next bus going to the university to discuss it with Ovie? Would Ovie acknowledge him? In the midst of confusion within his mind, a sudden rush of crowd emerged towards him as he…To be continued

Written by Yinka.

It’s…”SHOW TIME” on our stage!

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 2 Comments

stage 1Expression of how we showcase our lifestyle is a stage. It is that performance we enthusiastically give, grudgingly impose, and inquisitively evaluate. Either expressed with humor or sarcasm, it is that ACT we love to display and want the world to see, and most likely will crave admiration.

Our stage displays our performance. The world we live in is our stage. Our audience, comes from a variety of un-assuming spectators. Sometimes they cheer us positively on that stage, and sometimes they boo us off that same stage! The after-effect of the occurrence of our performance on the stage is powerful. It can either break us or make us. Hmm, totally bizarre!

During my teenage years at my church parish, Holy Cross Cathedral, Lagos I’d joined other selected kids invited to a neighboring parish for an after-mass visitation and dinner. It usually was with my favorite priest, Monsignor Gabriel Osu. He would usher us (4 kids) into his powder blue Volkswagen beetle and during the drive will allow us to chatter freely, especially on sensitive issues we were dealing with as teenagers both at home and in school. After talking about our future plans of stardom and greatness, we’d all conclude with…’and oh, the world will love us! (Our performance).

One of his resounding advice then was, “Handle life like you are the builder of the stage, that way, your performance is genuine, your act is second-skin and allow your creator to be your spectator” It’s been almost 30 years now…and every time I hear the word stage, the message resonates!

Oh well! That message didn’t mean much to us then, after all, our mind was focused on the extravagant feast of fragrant savory beans, meats so tender they could be shredded with a fork, crispy-sweet fried plantains. It was good and beautiful, prepared and served with love and the hope that it would do more than quiet our rumbling stomachs.

So, our stage is that elevated platform in our life. It is that moment in our life when the spotlight is on us, a time of raised podium or terrace of exhibition (show time) either exalted or inflated. It is that period when we are pushed forward by courage to display our creativity. We become actors and actresses of our gifting. Sometimes, we get drunk in the moment, with life’s cheap exotic brewery of arrogance. The mic gets too heavy for us, the audience gives a disdain look, we get carried away with stage-fright and say too much or we get intimidated and loose our balance. Our stage. Ah! A place of reckoning.

As we begin to count down into a new year, let’s examine our stage. Does our act suck? Does our performance on our stage speak well of us? Do we climb our stage with a mind full of gratitude or look down at the audience with contempt? Are we still afraid to step up the podium, unto our stage? Ignoring the fancy scenery and battens support? Do we welcome mistakes and then fix them? So much of learning arises from the errors we all make. Do we remain receptive and positive to mistakes as markers for future improvement? Healthy evaluation stimulates progress, while excessive self-criticism raises anxiety and creates unrealistic expectations.

Embrace your stage today. Ascend it with hope. Descend it with a legacy. Act on it as if you are the builder. Influence people with your performance. Entertain people with your God-given talent. Expect more when the audience gives you full attention. Exit your scenes with a grateful heart and a promising attitude. It’s okay to be teary-eyed when you get a standing ovation, because you have positively encouraged and elevated someone! I pray that our stages are recurring platforms of support and comfort to others!

Yinka.

All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players; they have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts, All the World’s A Stage by William Shakespeare.