The sound of the siren outside my bathroom window, the pounding beat of my chest frustrating the little confidence and I hope I have left, the pain and fear of letting out my sobs, the rush of the cold water from the shower now falling hard against my bare back, sharp pains shooting through my battered skin, that same tender olive skin he’d vowed was all he needed to see on a cloudy day! Am confused! Should I cry out for help?
Or should I continue under the pangs of desperate falling cold water? I am drenched in my own blood! Probably woke up again after passing out from his habitual aggressive beating. But my feelings always fail me. I let my emotions get the best of me. “Oh. He loves me, I know he does! “Honey, I need help to manage my anger issues, ‘Baby, please don’t leave me! I will never be the same without you! “Sweetheart, it’s the devil… and with that, I am a lover’s-fool again, for the 100th time of my life.
But right now I think He’s gone too far, the knife, the hot water, the hot iron, the baby’s bassinet! Oh no! The baby! W-h-e-r-e I-s m-y b-a-b-y? And my neighbor’s questioning looks, always nosy anyway, out of fear they had called 911 this time…everything is happening so fast! I think am loosing it? No, I have actually lost my mind! Is this love? What to do…
So, all in the name of love, we accept the unacceptable, we explain away the pain, we justify and rationalize every blow- physical and otherwise, at times we blame the victim.
All in the name of keeping up appearances, we remain silent to the glaring indications, we remain blind to the blatant battle signs, we remain recklessly optimistic that somewhere, somehow, the abuse will stop all in the name of love. Maybe one day, the abuser will stop and return to the doting loving person you once knew…
But enough is enough! Let us break the cycle of silence! Let us shed light to this dark aspect of so called love! One time is too many for a loved one to raise a hand, or even worse a weapon to the one whom they profess to love. One time is enough for you to know that you are worth more than that; you are a gem and a treasure to those who genuinely care for you.
You are created as a peculiar being, made to fulfill a given purpose. Do not let your light be snuffed out early all in the name of love. Speak up against love that leaves you black and blue; speak up against love that leaves you feeling worthless.
Let’s break the cycle of ABUSE- ‘Bad Unnecessary Senseless Experience. Reach out and Get help today!
Written by Toyin Erinle for #Moving Forward With Yinka
Introduction by Yinka.
Violence help hotlines
Call the hotlines below for help if you have been hurt by someone you know or have been attacked by a stranger. You will not have to pay for the call, and you can ask to have your information kept confidential. Even though these calls are free, they may appear on your phone bill. If you think an abuser may check your phone bill, try to call from a friend’s phone or a public phone.
- Call 800-799-SAFE (7233) or 800-787-3224 (TDD).
- Staff are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
- More than 170 languages are available.
- You will hear a recording and may have to wait for a short time.
- Hotline staff offer safety planning and crisis help. They can connect you to shelters and services in your area.
- Staff can send out written information on topics such as domestic violence, sexual assault, and the legal system.