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April is “AUTISM AWARENESS MONTH” (why every WOMAN should attend the upcoming AUTISM support workshop) Part Two.

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 1 Comment

autism mainWhat I noticed as I walked in was a toddler laughing and spinning around with a stuffed animal at the end of her outstretched arms. She had that kind of pure laughter that made me smile just hearing it. I was ushered in by her tensed parents as I pulled out my hands for a firm handshake, something I usually do to help calm my client’s family, especially when they’ve just received a diagnosis of Autism for their child.

Their beautifully decorated living room had every wall covered with pictures of Alana from child-birth; some were craftily captured in black and white prints, with focal point on the child’s contagious laughter. I sat back and observed my little client for a while. I’m not sure she even noticed me.

Halfway through my pile of paperwork (Developmental Behavioral Assessment/M-CHAT/ASQ) with her parents, I heard the girl shout, “Elmo! ‘Love Elmo!” her speech was stifled and seemed mumbled, under water-like.

“Oh hi. ‘I love Elmo too! I whispered in exaggerated excitement, “Do you want to play with me?” I went down on the floor and sat next to her, not looking into her eyes or invading her personal space, just showing her my folder with the picture of Elmo in it! She didn’t answer or object, but gently touched the folder and looked away! That was a go-ahead-show me sign from her! Yes!! (I was totally thrilled).

A relationship was built! trust was established! sensory impact was initiated, boundaries were set! and the tears began to fall from her mother, as I smiled up at my newly acquired friend. That was 2 years ago… Alana, the 80th kid with Autism Spectrum Disorder on my caseload was as equally special and beautiful to me as all the other children put together in my entire life time!

Today, she’s progressing well and is a very healthy five-year-old, last time I checked with her mom, “oh, she sings “let it go” in her own very special way! …well, literally! And also receiving support through Autism Speaks Group. Awesome!

April 2nd is World Autism Awareness Day and Light It Up Blue! It is celebrated each year and adopted by the United Nations in 2007 to shine a bright light on autism as a growing global health crisis. Autism is one of only three health issues to be recognized with its own day by the United Nations to increase world knowledge of autism and impart information about the importance of early diagnosis and early intervention.

So, if you noticed a child has lack of or delay in spoken language, repetitive use of language and/or motor mannerisms (e.g., hand-flapping, twirling objects, consistent rocking), Little or no eye contact, Lack of interest in peer relationships, Lack of spontaneous or make-believe play or Persistent fixation on parts of objects.. Chances are you know an Autistic child or have encountered one somewhere. It’s not easy knowing what to do or how to respond to the quirks (or outbursts) of an autistic child. Public tantrums are par for the course with these children.

How many of us have seen a kid have an outburst while their embarrassed parents try to get control? Well, ratchet that up a couple of notches for autistic kids. Their tantrums can get rough. Don’t …gape and stare at the child and parent, saying “Can you believe that kid?” faces. And especially don’t make comments or tell the parent, “Can’t you control your kid?” Just go about your business. Or if you catch the eye of the child’s caregiver, just flash a smile. Or offer to help! It can work wonders.

Honestly, you haven’t met anyone so unique and exceptional until you encounter a special need child. Their love is pure, genuine and transparent. You see through their little eyes rays of hope and unquestionable bewilderment. What you see is what you get!

So, instead of staring at the “un-believable” sight or scene, why not give emotional support. Be that imaginary horse to be ridden on or be their knight in shining armor who sings of their praises, it helps build their confidence. Reach out this month – to a special need child and family.

***(Dedicated to all my 100 Autistic caseload children and their families from over 11 years! – ‘I am (still) Lighting it BLUE for you this month and (still) believing God for a miracle!) Love you all for real!

***You can learn more about giving support to a special needs child/family at the upcoming:

*** RCCG LSMC 2015 TOTAL WOMEN CONFERENCE RETREAT WORKSHOP:

Help! I Can’t Do It Alone! on Saturday, April 25th 2015. Please visit http://www.rccglivingspring.org for more information.

Yours in HOPE…

Yinka.

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FYI:

“Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and autism are both general terms for a group of complex disorders of brain development. These disorders are characterized, in varying degrees, by difficulties in social interaction, verbal and nonverbal communication and repetitive behaviors.

With the May 2013 publication of the DSM-5 diagnostic manual, all autism disorders were merged into one umbrella diagnosis of ASD. Previously, they were recognized as distinct subtypes, including autistic disorder, childhood disintegrative disorder, pervasive developmental disorder-not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS) and Asperger syndrome”

https://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism

Why every WOMAN needs a yearly Retreat Workshop! (In Marriage, Sexuality, Relationship, Family & Total Well Being) Part One.

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 13 Comments

twc front

“Is he capable of loving me?”  It was a question I’d wondered many times, as I mulled over his countless reasons for being busy, his abusive tendencies, and this disease that makes him self-centered and manipulative. Maybe he’s loving me the best way he can, maybe I just need to wait for him to propose? But is it enough for me to keep waiting for him? And for how long? 

“He never hit me, never yelled, never called me hurtful names and yet the vacuum was there, hidden beneath my excuses and justifications for hanging in this marriage. Sometimes it takes an objective, outside perspective to shine a light on a truth I didn’t want to see. I wanted simple love-making! He wants just raw sex! How do I let him know without seeming desperate or sex-starved?  

“A few months after my beautiful son Sammy was born, I began to wonder why he hadn’t started laughing or cooing yet. My family and friends tried to calm my fears. They said nothing was wrong. But I knew there was a bigger reason. After series of developmental evaluation and assessment, the diagnosis came…Sammy is Autistic! ’And suddenly, my world began to crumble. How do I deal with this?

“I would really love to do more in God’s house…but I feel trapped in my mindset with negativity and all the drama and politics that comes with it and I get distracted and run away from my God-given purpose… I know God’s calling me to do more…but, what do I do?”

 “When you see me on the outside, I glow and dazzle like a beautiful-stained glass! But on the inside am totally not myself. I feel overwhelmed and empty, Am still waiting patiently on God for his beautiful promises! But sometimes too… I need HELP! I can’t do it alone. What do I do?

 ‘I’ve historically been most attracted to damaged, baggage-carrying men! My past is sour, yet juicy when am entangled with what the future has to offer. But how can I move forward in a relationship where there’s no heat, no fireworks?  Am still asking myself, why I’m attracted to certain men?

 So, if you are reading this and would like to add more significance or meaning to your life as a WOMAN! You are most definitely invited to this workshop! Hosted by www.rccglivingspring.org in Philadelphia, PA.

If you have navigated a major life transition? Battling a personal emotional dilemma? Needing to make an impact by touching someone? Needing a Christian support group that can help you open up and talk deep WOMEN’s talk! Ahhhhh! You REALLY! REALLY!! don’t want to miss this: WOMEN ONLY RETREAT/WORKSHOP/SUMMIT!

This women’s workshop is a delightful journey in self-exploration with an eye towards finding pragmatic steps to life changes.

The workshop includes: facilitated group-coaching sessions; exploration and heart-to-heart discussion to help build up your marriage, make you appreciate your current relationship, clarify priorities in dating, connect to a support group that addresses your special-needs child or family member, create dreams for a balanced life , and help set goals to develop personalized action plan; and best of all…

Be empowered with a Beautiful group of WOMEN who love God deeply and are willing to SINCERELY hold your hands, look into your eyes and tell you…”Sister! You are only a traveler on this life’s journey, your destination is guided and directed only by God! You Can Do It! Let it out! Let it go! Let God In! Because you are a woman…’You are truly Beautiful Inside Out!

SAVE THE DATE!!

April 22 – April 25, 2015. It promises to be an inspiring and empowering week with anointed speakers:

 *** Pastor Marcos Mercado, Praise Philadelphia 103.9 Radio host of Marriage Beyond the Vows.

***Ministering: Pastor (Dr.) Esther Obasi-Ike (RCCG Solution Center, Kenya, Africa),

***Rev. Sade Fasedemi (Waterfalls Ministries, South Africa).

 ***Registration can be completed at http://rccglivingspring.org/total-woman-conference/

 ***Early Bird Registration is $120, which ends March 27, 2015.

***Regular Registration is $150, from March 28 to April 21, 2015.

***Full Time Student Early Bird Registration is $50, which ends March 19, 2015.

 

Yours in HOPE…

Yinka Lawrence ( Workshop Moderator for Beautiful Wife/Woman )

To Be Continued…

 

Crying Out Loud or Smiling Through It? (Courage during life’s challenges)

/ Yinka (Anthonia) Gansallo-Lawrence / 5 Comments

karmaChallenges undertaken for the greater good bind us to people, whereas the pursuit of comfort leads to isolation. And for certain, isolation is terminal. But, how do we recognize our weakness? And work on our strength? If we are not expressive!

There’s no precise formula for it. And like every other area of growth in our life, our mountain won’t look exactly like anyone else’s. But we will surely recognize it, because it lies at the intersection of our greatest strengths and our greatest passions after a storm. We may endeavor to hide, or disguise, the emotional pain that comes in the wake of negative beliefs about ourselves evoked by a particular person or situation. But we can’t always avoid it!

I once knew a close pal in my college days (fondly called him my baby brother) the perfect-picture of a total gentleman. He must have been sprinkled with extra good-mouth-watering spices, prepared specially by the angels when God created him! Always cheerful and smiling. Humble and articulate! He has this certain soothing-aura that draws people close to him, to confide in him. And did I mention he was oh-so-cute with chocolate-skin-deep-dimples! Aha! He wasn’t a smoker or alcohol lover, but knows how to maintain his friendship with the crazy campus-crowd! He was such a good listener to people’s personal issues, but no one ever bothered to worry about him needing a shoulder to rest on. Literally! He was the “always okay guy! And every girl’s dream, the type you take home to your parents and they are like.. ’Aha! Awesome Sauce! Let’s pick a date quick! (Lol!)

But recently, I’d listened to one of his new songs released on you tube and was amazed at his emotional lamentation of how he’d battled with life’s issues, while still putting up an act for the world to see. My heart bled! Why? Probably I felt guilty for the forgotten years of not taking time to say ’Talk to me, let it out! As opposed to “You will be fine, hang in there”

As it is today in history, “Hang in there” is partially the reason why a lot of emotionally challenged people are “Hanging up on life, simply because there are no outlets for them. Think about it today, whose outlet are you?

So, when we ask someone hurt whether anything was wrong, for it is blatantly obvious from their expression or tone of voice that they’re upset, only to have them say: “No, I’m fine.” And it is so obvious that they’re not fine but retreating into themselves to avoid a dialogue they fear might end up making them feel worse. What do we do?

Sometimes we go through some stuff in life that just requires us to sit-back, weather the storm alone, observe the wound or just let it heal! But not for long in becoming unusually quiet or shut down. Such silence speaks volumes, and generally the message is: “I’m not going to risk you hurting me more than you already have, so I’m putting a wall between us.”

Our tendencies to conceal our emotional frailty from others is the fear that exposing it would make us look weak to them and indeed, make us feel weak and powerless to ourselves. So instead of “Crying out loud” (Am hurting! Am lonely! Help me!) we “Smile through our teeth” (say it is well!!) we assume that frankly disclosing our hurt feelings would betray our susceptibility and will define us as exploit, or take advantage of us. It’s as though in “displaying” our hurt we’re selling-off our personal power, relinquishing it to others to use over us in any way they deem fit.

Today, for someone reading this, believe me it is absolutely okay to CRY OUT LOUD! to truly make others more attuned to your vulnerable feelings, we need to manifest them physically and also express them verbally.

Men for example will likely avoid divulging wounded feelings for fear that doing so will compromise their felt sense of masculinity. While Women, on the other hand, are much more likely to worry that disclosing their emotional distress may lead them to be called thin-skinned or too sensitive. Hmmm!

But, we can’t always blame others for their insensitivity toward us. Do they know any better? We need to be more expressive by becoming more aware of and responsive to our feelings, especially unless we’re willing to go out on an emotional limb and reveal our vulnerability, they may never be able to understand and give us the support we crave from them.

Somebody once said that when everything’s coming your way—you’re on the wrong side of the road. Living the adventure God planned for you isn’t just another pursuit; it’s the reason you were born! Encourage someone today!

Yours in HOPE as I introduce Sodi’s “Contradictions of Life” (all grown, but still my baby brother!!) see music video below.

Yinka.